George Costanza
A Friendly Liberal
Homosexuals become that way by choice, not by birth. Mostly, they become homosexuals in school. There, they are exposed to pansy, liberal teachers, who teach them to be homosexuals, both by persuasion and by example.
A particular hotbed for this kind of activity is the University of Southern California and also the University of Alabama. Both of these institutions actually have classes where homosexuality is taught and practiced. I am informed that, within the next three or four years, homosexuality will become an official major at many colleges and universities around the country.
Another way in which people are turned into homosexuals is by watching professional football on television. They watch the players in those tight pants, and it naturally turns them into gay people. And when one player slaps another player on the rear end, numerous would be homosexuals hop up and down with glee and then run out, into the street, seeking to attack straight people.
You can tell a homosexual when you see him. (Women are never homosexuals. They are lesbians. I have known four lesbians. But I digress . . . ) Homosexuals wear pink flowers in their lapels and talk with a lisp. If you tell them a joke, they will laugh, but it is a phony laugh. They don't care about your joke. All they care about is boffing you in the rear end, so watch it.
Another way to tell if someone is a homosexual or not, is by what they do for a living. All university professors are homosexuals except economics professors, who are mostly Methodists. There are some firemen who are gay, but not too many. The rest of them are just Good Guys. Lots of police officers are homosexuals. That's why they carry those long, round, sticks. I think you know what I'm getting at here. Of course you have your hair dressers, window washers and trash collectors. NEVER put the trash out early in the morning unless you are fully clothed. Many gay trash collectors like to hide in an empty trash barrel and wait for you to come out to empty the trash. Then they pop out of the trash can and say: "Hi there." Avoid something like this at all costs.
Thank you very much.
/sarcasm off
Edit Note: Another thing I have learend is, that some homosexuals who are also right wing, conservatives, can also be real assholes.
A particular hotbed for this kind of activity is the University of Southern California and also the University of Alabama. Both of these institutions actually have classes where homosexuality is taught and practiced. I am informed that, within the next three or four years, homosexuality will become an official major at many colleges and universities around the country.
Another way in which people are turned into homosexuals is by watching professional football on television. They watch the players in those tight pants, and it naturally turns them into gay people. And when one player slaps another player on the rear end, numerous would be homosexuals hop up and down with glee and then run out, into the street, seeking to attack straight people.
You can tell a homosexual when you see him. (Women are never homosexuals. They are lesbians. I have known four lesbians. But I digress . . . ) Homosexuals wear pink flowers in their lapels and talk with a lisp. If you tell them a joke, they will laugh, but it is a phony laugh. They don't care about your joke. All they care about is boffing you in the rear end, so watch it.
Another way to tell if someone is a homosexual or not, is by what they do for a living. All university professors are homosexuals except economics professors, who are mostly Methodists. There are some firemen who are gay, but not too many. The rest of them are just Good Guys. Lots of police officers are homosexuals. That's why they carry those long, round, sticks. I think you know what I'm getting at here. Of course you have your hair dressers, window washers and trash collectors. NEVER put the trash out early in the morning unless you are fully clothed. Many gay trash collectors like to hide in an empty trash barrel and wait for you to come out to empty the trash. Then they pop out of the trash can and say: "Hi there." Avoid something like this at all costs.
Thank you very much.
/sarcasm off
Edit Note: Another thing I have learend is, that some homosexuals who are also right wing, conservatives, can also be real assholes.
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