It's your lack of a realistic perception of God and your inability to override your bias which is keeping you from even considering your understanding of the God of Abraham is flawed. No offense but you read the bible like a 12 year old. Which is about the time you made up your mind, right? It's amazing you had the intellect to be able to wade through such heady subjects at the age of twelve. It took me about 15 years to wrap my mind around it and I didn't even began working on it until I was somewhere between 34 and 39 years old.A Creator would surprise me but would not freak me out, I've always said I'm agnostic on that subject. What would freak me out would be if that Creator turned out to be the God of the Bible.