I've been a RC all my life till up to 10 years ago. Some say I was strong into my faith. I studied the bible, extra circular stuff, and I read everything I could get my hands on. Way more since they have come out with the internet. I really miss having my best friend, its not what I wanted or expected when I started investigating. Do you know what over the years have got me, the end of faith, it was a long process, do you understand what losing you best friend does to you?? I assume you don't, you have your best friend.
I now longer do, but I found truth, sometimes the truth is not easy. I'm a full fledge atheist now. I never started out by being an atheist, in my late 40's I become one.
I can't go back, once you find out the truth. I don't expect you to be, but I am sick of those who are anti abortion, or anti gay or anti trans. We all should live being free, as long as you don't hurt one another. Laws are there for reason.
I'm sorry that someone swindled you...
And I know that where the RCC has a few good doctrines they have a lot of poor ones too.
But for me, I don't have enough faith to believe that there is no God. Too much stuff doesn't make sense unless God has indeed been involved and actively involved at that.
Too many independent (of Christianity) stories not to understand what is happening and why. I know that the RCC doesn't allow for the questioning of doctrines in the manner I approach scripture...I use full hermeneutics where ALL the sciences of psychology, anthropology, history, cartography, geology, and etc are applied as well as the writing arts...
And I found that scriptures are indeed a miracle in themselves... nevermind all the arguing over them but the synchronicity of all of them is on a level that is insane. Even Tolkien, as good as his writing was isn't qualified to write on this level in four different languages over a period of over 1500 years with 40+ authors who agree this much. We can't get two "theologians" to agree with each other much less over 40 of them...all writing from their unique perspective.
Then there's the archeological evidence that agrees with scriptures...the book of Mormon can't say that.
And I have looked extensively for errors or loopholes... something that could show me that it's all a fraud perpetuated by tyrants to control the masses (And over the years the church has been filled with them)
And have continually come up empty handed.
There are issues with my studies though...once you know....and you know that you know.... you can't go back and deliberately forget. You can't unsee things. (Trust me when I say there are some things I wish I could unsee)
And where Jesus says that faith like a child is better...some of us aren't going to settle for that. I didn't...I am, and am not sorry all at the same time.