Let's offend everybody ...

[manu1959]

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either

Q... What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. A pimp

Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A. A northern fairytale begins, 'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins, 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States

 

[alan1]

Where are the offenses to the northerners?

 

[eots]

you left out *******..bitches and fags...surly there is somthing offensive you could say about these folk

 

[strollingbones]

you know the difference in damnded yankee and fucking yankeee...damn yankee comes down and goes home..fucking yankee comes down and stays...

yankee leaves maine with ski strapped on the top of his car....he stop for gas....people say nice skis...he finally pulls into a small town in alabama when the gas station guy goes whats that on your car....the yankee goes this is it...we are staying here...well the yankee and roy become friends...
one day he goes into the station and roy is not there...he ask the owner where roy was...the owner replies..."it was weird ..he strapped two ******* on his hood and headed north".

 

[WillowTree]

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either

Q... What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. A pimp

Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe. for BBQ

Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A. A northern fairytale begins, 'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins, 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States

there! I tweaked it just a bit for ya!

 

[strollingbones]

it should say roadkill....recipes for roadkill...

okay dyke jokes:

what do dykes do on the 2n date?

pick out china

what did one dyke say to another?

you taste like chicken

 

[manifold]

How does a redneck mother know when her daugher is on the rag?

She can taste it on her son's penis.

 

[manifold]

What does a mexican and a cue ball have in common?

The harder you hit them the more english you get out of them.

 

[roomy]

What does a mexican and a cue ball have in common?

The harder you hit them the more english you get out of them.

 

[KittenKoder]

How do you confuse a christian?
Replace their bible with the works of Shakespeare.

How do you confuse a pagan?
Tell them you aren't christian.

 

[strollingbones]

english is what we call the movement of the cue ball...to set up your next shot ...if you want it to spin back or stay put etc.....

a harder hit from the cue ball produces more "english" on the ball it hits..

 

[strollingbones]

How does a redneck mother know when her daugher is on the rag?

She can taste it on her son's penis.

that is just plain nasty.....

 

[alan1]

What does a mexican and a cue ball have in common?

The harder you hit them the more english you get out of them.

This conversation can't be lowered to your level.

 

[roomy]

What does a mexican and a cue ball have in common?

The harder you hit them the more english you get out of them.

This conversation can't be lowered to your level.

Stalking me?You must be bored?

 

[alan1]

This conversation can't be lowered to your level.

Stalking me?You must be bored?

Indeed, you are boorish.

 

[Said1]

I think my mother has the award for worst, most offensive, racist jokes. She's changed, though.

 

[dilloduck]

I think my mother has the award for worst, most offensive, racist jokes. She's changed, though.

rats

 

[Missourian]

You might be a Northerner .....

if you can't talk more than 30 seconds without someone asking, "Where are you from?"
if you have ever gone sledding off your roof.
if you think 60 degreee ocean water is warm.
if there are only 25 letters in the English alphabet.
if you think "barbecue" is a verb meaning to cook outside.
if you use "wicked" as an adverb.
if you have ever driven 70mph....within 6" of the guy in front of you....in a blizzard.... while shaving.
if you can pronounce "Worcestershire Sauce."
if nobody outside of New England can pronounce or spell your hometown. Here's how.
if you have ever beaten someone up for mentioning the year ****.
if you know what year **** is.
if you name your pets after Celtics or Bruin players.
if you learned to ski and ice skate before you learned to walk.
if you have ever prevented someone from getting in front of you on the highway by making it physically impossible to get between you and the guy in front of you.
if you have ever passed on the right (especially as they're entering the highway).
if you have ever used the sidewalk as a passing lane (since it is paved).
if you have ever used someone's front lawn as a passing lane.
if you have a strip mall in your backyard.
if you think 6" of snow is a dusting.
if you get a foot of snow, and still have to go to school.
if you are related to the Mafia.
if when someone is being nice to you leads you to believe they are from out of town or want something from you.
if you think a yellow light means to accelerate.
if you think a red light means to accelerate more.
if you have ever seen an inverted intersection: cars move on red, stop on green.
if you know how to drive in a rotary.
if you think using turn signals is a sign of weakness.
if you "bang a left" the instant the light turns green, cutting off the oncoming traffic.
if you greet people by saying "hihowahya."
if you have to repeat what you say three time, slowing down each successive time, before anyone can understand what you're saying.
if you walk twice as fast as everyone else.
if you flash your lights to pass when you are stuck behind a guy only going 80.
if someone calls you a masshole, and you take it as a compliment.
if the curse of Bambino was taught in public schools instead of the Civil War.
if you think that crossing two or more lanes on a single lane change is "going with the flow."
if your sole aim is to get there as fast as you possibly can while preventing others from doing the same.
if you got yelled at by at least three grown-ups on your street as a little kid for hitting their windshield with a snowball.
if your friends took you to Montreal on your 19th birthday.
if you think church is just a social event.
if you own a snowblower....and have broken it after four blizzards.
if you have ever driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday just to get beer.
if you root for the Red Sox, but know that they will lose.
if you have ever intentionally forgotten to brush the snow off your car before you went to work.
if you honk your horn at the guy in front of you if he doesn't move within 0.1 seconds of the light turning green.
if your friends from the South are afraid to drive with you.
if the only time you have seen prayer in public schools is when the school board was considering hiring a guy from Virginia to be the new superintendant. (He'll cancel school at the very mention of flurries!)
if you think 6 inches of snow is a dusting.
if you drink water from a bubbler.
if you eat ice cream in the winter to warm up.
if you have ever shoveled after a snowstorm and found a car.
if you don't think 4 feet of snow is an excuse for being late to work.
if you read the entire Wall Street Journal on the way to work.
if you know at least 1 guy either named Sean, Pat, White, Red, O.B. or Seamus.
if you know where you were when Bucker missed the ball.
if you go to the Cape during the summer.
if you think three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.
if you don't know the meaning of "compromise."
if you have ever skiied down your street before the snow plows got to it.
if you think ketchup is spicy.
if you eat fried chicked with a knife and fork.
if you don't consider "guys" to be gender specific.
if you think "goose bumps" at the beach are normal.
if you think NASCAR stands for the North American Society for...(something).
if you need to have Jeff Foxworthy's jokes explained to you.
if the last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on the highway.
if you define summer as three months of bad skiing.
if you freak out when someone talks to you on the subway.
if you're not afraid to drive on a pond in the winter.

 

[strollingbones]

why do women have legs?

so they dont leave a trail of slime like a slug

 

[Big Black Dog]

OK, OK, OK... I'm going to go out on a limb here - way out on a limb. Just remember ladies that it's just a stupid joke.

Q: Why do doctors slap babies when they are born?

A: It makes the penis fall off the dumb ones!