Oh no!You have no relationship with God period.
What must I do to be saved? Admit under pressure to being a worthless piece of sinning shit, beg God to forgive me for being human get down on my knees and accept the Antichrist as my lord and savior and then to show my dedication and how sorry I am for my sins commit idolatry religiously every now and then on Sunday at mass?
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin. I would prefer to be drawn and quartered, crucified, or mutilated. Stunad.
But thanks anyway!