Don't worry, I respect people who disagree with me and give me valid reasons why. I don't respect people who disagree with me and their only reason is But TRUMP!!!
I am much more anti-war than most people. I was definitely unhappy that Trump attacked Iran and thought he was a complete idiot. It took awhile to think it through that maybe he really had to other solution. I still have minor doubts. As a lifetime student of engineering and constantly looking for better solutions, I can easily say there is always a more intelligent solution to a problem than war. The problem is, some problems don't want to be solved. And the people we trust to solve problems are not engineers, they are politicians who are paid to create problems that make the rich richer. I have little patience for political solutions and often believe the best solution to a problem that doesn't want to be solved is to reduce it to dust and move on. I'm definitely not a politician nor do I think like one. I hope it doesn't come to my preferred solutions, but we have to live with the consequences if the political solutions are just more of kicking the can down the road.
I wrangled with whether to do a thumbs up or thumbs down here. I lament there are so few "emojis" to use, especially when there are none to cover the vast middle ground of issues.
I also have tended to be "anti-war" especially in my earlier years/decades, but in retrospect that was because of a desire to see injury~death~destruction~etc. kept to a minimum versus an excess. Also a position that conflict/combat/war should be a last resort rather than a first solution.
This has been balanced by the realization that if swift and intense response of conflict/combat is imposed by an opponent, then swift and intense response is the only viable solution to survive and prevail to such.
There is strong value in the concept of Peace through (Military) Strength.
As you suggest, if the prospect of even more lethal and destructive response to aggression is the optimal counter-balance, than such it should be. Also, such a position/stance should not preclude pre-emptive strike is such will reduce the damage and disadvantage of allowing one's enemy to land the first punch.
Individual street fight experiences should provide a clear example here.
Wars between nations often start as differences between the individuals leading those nations.
Waiting top let the other guy throw and land the first punch might seem noble/heroic, but reality is that it can be too damaging to be worth the save of face. Considering the intense consequence of combat and the ready shifts of advantage, a responsible leader will realize, appreciate and use the advantage of the per-emptive first strike.
We aren't talking sports matches here, but life or death survival. In such case it is an obligation of a nation's leader to what they can to reduce damage and disadvantage in a developing fight/conflict/combat/battle/war.