Geaux,
I think that is a balanced view, Most of the Union military were honorable, save for relatively few exceptions, and those are in every army and every war. Chamberlain was certainly a decent and honorable man, as was Thomas of Virginia, (the Union hero of Chckamauga), and Grant, for all his personal flaws, tried to do the right thing. The politicians were another matter. They lusted for vengeance, and once the Confederates had surrendered, they set about achieving it. They succeeded well enough over the ensuing ten years to leave a lasting legacy of hatred which continues unabated to this day, egged on these days by those who see some measure of political revenge in it themselves (as a couple of posts here clearly indicate).
The "Bleeding Kansas" analogy is probably too mild, for what a Southern guerrilla war might have looked like; something like that might have produced even worse men than W.C. Quantrill, on both sides. Given all that has happened since 1865 (Reconstruction conspicuously included), might it have been worth it, from a Southern perspective? It's actually an interesting question from that angle. With the foundations of slavery undermined, mechanized agriculture and foreign pressure from Europe would have ended that anyway, by 1880. Even allowing for more bloodshed and destruction (both considerable), what if the South HAD achieved at least a sufficient stalemate to eventually discredit the radical Republicans and gain independence by say, 1875-1880? What would race relations have been like, without Reconstruction and Radical Rule? How much reconciliation would there have been, between the North, and an independent South? Would they have eventually re-united, or continued to go their separate ways? Fascinating stuff for speculation, but of course, we will never know.
And what of the future? America is more divided today, than at any point since the War, and not just, or even mostly, on regional lines. Will America split again, and along what lines-political, ethnic, religious, regional or some other divide, or some combination of these? Will it be peaceful the next time? A number of futurists have predicted some sort of split in the next fifty years-is it really likely? More food for thought, 150 years after the conflict that defined America as we have come to know it.