Changes In Christmas?

[Annie]

I enjoyed some of the exchanges we had on Thanksgiving, I hope everyone had a great day, with or without political banter. My day turned out very nice, I'm still full! As the party was winding down, those of us that will be together at Christmas drew names for a 'grab bag.' In our family it's simple now, as the 'children' graduate high school, they join in to the grab bag. Before that they get gifts from everyone. Last one graduated in June! Yeehaw!

My brother and his wife have done an 'Open House' on Christmas Eve since they got married. I always had Christmas at my home, so going out really didn't work well. So I had my parents, my children, and one of my friends, her husband, and their two children over for the past 20 some years. I had that menu down cold, heck I've even bought some of the things I thought I'd need.

The years have brought change, my folks have both died within the last 5 years. My friend's daughters have married and have kids now, so they are now doing Christmas Eve with the grandkids, though we all get together at midnight Mass and on the 26th. My own kids have boyfriend, girlfriends and don't necessarily wish to be 'home' for the entire evening, especially as I start making the appetizers for the next day!

So with my nephew undergoing radiation, a double dose on the morning of Christmas Eve, my brother and SIL were disappointed that they were going to have to cancel what's become a big tradition for them. Somehow last night my mouth opened and said, "Hey I can help with that, I'm off on the 19th, you can let me get things started, when you get back from Rochester, take over." I don't know who was more shocked, me or them? They were relieved though, I think they've had way too many changes this year.

So there is one big change for my Christmas this year. I think that my kids were sort of relieved, they were like, "We'll help, then go out and meet you at church. It'll be great!" My niece was thrilled, as all of her friends stop by then.

This is the first year I've really cut back on gifts in a significant way. It's a burden relieved. I'm already calmer than usual on the day after Thanksgiving. My shopping, of which there wasn't any outside of my laptop is done. Total for 3 kids and grab bag, just over $400. That's not bad, though I wish it were less. It's taken a few years to realize that the kids can and do buy what they want, one gift for each that they might not want to put the cash out for was good. They are happy that I'm less stressed.

I'm finding that I'd like to simplify in other ways, so I have more time for others while becoming less intense on myself. Anyone else finding the years, economy hitting them like this at all?

 

[editec]

I may buy my son a tangled spool of yarn this Christmas.

Only if he's good, of course.

 

[Annie]

I may buy my son a tangled spool of yarn this Christmas.

Only if he's good, of course.

Is your son a kitten? How old?

I'm wondering if with the economy we won't get back to simpler times and more family things, rather than as much commercialism?

 

[random3434]

We have been drawing names in our family forever it seem, as we grew and grew and grew....

We drew the names yesterday, as we always do at Thanksgiving. It's a relief, you are correct.


I also have my daughter's grandparents, my fiancee, his son, my mother, his mother, and of course my daughter to buy for. Scaled back from past years for sure. Picture frames with my daughters pic and candles are always good bets, and I always try to find something unique for each person too.

 

[Annie]

We have been drawing names in our family forever it seem, as we grew and grew and grew....

We drew the names yesterday, as we always do at Thanksgiving. It's a relief, you are correct.


I also have my daughter's grandparents, my fiancee, his son, my mother, his mother, and of course my daughter to buy for. Scaled back from past years for sure. Picture frames with my daughters pic and candles are always good bets, and I always try to find something unique for each person too.

After the divorce I told my friends that we needed to stop exchanging gifts between ourselves and kids. That was a relief. Now I only buy for my children and the one $25 grab bag, which all of us just do gift cards. I've got my nephew's wife, I just need to find out her favorite store and send one of my kids for that. I hate malls at Christmas. I love entertaining and have friends and cousins over between Christmas and New Year's. (Great way to get rid of the appetizers and cookies). The other day when I ran to Costco, they had Korbel Brut on sale at $7.99, I grabbed a case.

 

[random3434]

After the divorce I told my friends that we needed to stop exchanging gifts between ourselves and kids. That was a relief. Now I only buy for my children and the one $25 grab bag, which all of us just do gift cards. I've got my nephew's wife, I just need to find out her favorite store and send one of my kids for that. I hate malls at Christmas. I love entertaining and have friends and cousins over between Christmas and New Year's. (Great way to get rid of the appetizers and cookies). The other day when I ran to Costco, they had Korbel Brut on sale at $7.99, I grabbed a case.

So that means you have enough to make mimosas for ALL of us!

 

[Cecilie1200]

I can't say that I ever looked on giving gifts as something I needed "relief" from. I enjoy giving people presents, and would hate it if my family started celebrating Christmas where I could only buy one present for one person. On the other hand, I often make the gifts I give to people, so it's not a huge financial and last-minute shopping thing.

This year, my husband and I are financially tight because we have a baby coming in late January, and my mom and brother just bought a new house and moved into it, so discretionary income is short. My mother has decided that her Christmas gift to me will be to come over and help me deep-clean my house - since being eight months pregnant means I can't do it alone - and get it ready for decorating. I will probably find something in a similar vein to give her, possibly organizing all of her craft patterns into a neat, cross-referenced file, since I was an administrative assistant for twenty years, and my mother hates clerical work.

My husband and I discussed the situation, and he plans to give me an art projector purchased from e-bay, which I will then use to give my son his gift, which will be to paint a huge mural of a fire-breathing dragon on two of his bedroom walls. He's been begging for me to do it for two years. I also plan to use the projector to decorate the nursery, so as you can see, this is quite the structured gift plan.

I also plan to make several shirts for my son to wear in our medieval recreation society, and a new cloak with fur lining. There's a wonderful fabric store in town that sells huge remnant pieces by the pound for incredibly low prices, and it makes projects really cheap. My husband wants a new tabard to go over his armor, and my best friend needs both a warm cloak and a hooded sorceror robe (that last is just because he's weird, I think). I am also painting a picture depicting said best friend as the Grim Reaper, because I know he'll be thrilled (I mentioned he was weird, right?)

That's not my comprehensive list, but you get the idea. In addition, my kitchen will be going into overdrive with cookie and cake baking and candy making, to give gifts to all of the people I want to acknowledge, like the next-door neighbor who is a retired mechanic and helps keep our cars running and my husband's boss and my best friend's family.

 

[WillowTree]

I hate shopping and don't do it. We have everything we need and so do our adult kids. The grandkids will get money. And I don't drag out all the decorations and trim the house from stem to stern either. Just a few of my favorite objects to obtain the look of christmas. I like the stress free life too. We'll have a big dinner on Christmas day.. Thanksgiving worked out well with the seafood for dinner instead of turkey,, yeah! I didn't have to cook!

 

[editec]

Is your son a kitten? How old?

He's 19 and going to college.

I'm wondering if with the economy we won't get back to simpler times and more family things, rather than as much commercialism?

Many American families are spread all over the place.

Increasing financial problems are more likely to make them more isolated rather than closer, I think.

Travel was, I am informed, way down this Thanksgiving.

 

[Annie]

Is your son a kitten? How old?

He's 19 and going to college.



Many American families are spread all over the place.

Increasing financial problems are more likely to make them more isolated rather than closer, I think.

Travel was, I am informed, way down this Thanksgiving.

Some families certainly are spread out. While I'm not the crafter or sewer that Cecilie1200 is, I'm planning on some special get togethers and things for my family and friends. Where we used to meet up in restaurants a lot of the time to exchange gifts and celebrate, I think 'home' more now seems good. Where in the past it was often 'me and my friends' I'm planning more on including spouses and kids that are home.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I hate shopping and don't do it. We have everything we need and so do our adult kids. The grandkids will get money. And I don't drag out all the decorations and trim the house from stem to stern either. Just a few of my favorite objects to obtain the look of christmas. I like the stress free life too. We'll have a big dinner on Christmas day.. Thanksgiving worked out well with the seafood for dinner instead of turkey,, yeah! I didn't have to cook!

I have never understood people who put themselves under a lot of false, arbitrary stress. "The entire dinner must be handmade! There have to be fancy, hand-decorated shaped cookies! Dinner must be an elegant, sit-down affair at exactly 2 pm! We have to use the good china! The house must be decorated like the Macy's Christmas tree department! I must get the absolute last word in presents this year, the item that has been hyped for four months and which has only had a limited run of a couple of hundred shipped to each store to increase the frenzy! Ahhhhh!" Yeah, whatever.

Roasting a turkey is easy, at least by my method, and I don't mind it, since I only do it once or twice a year. Even my 13-year-old can make mashed potatoes, and the gravy comes out of a jar. Anyone who doesn't like it is welcome to make gravy from scratch themselves. My husband wouldn't eat homemade cranberry sauce even if I were inclined to make it. He prefers the jellied kind out of the can. And every damned restaurant in town sells wonderful pies for the holidays, not to mention that my family likes the frozen kind you pop in the oven for a little bit just fine. Fresh whipped cream? Can you say, "Cool Whip"? And the whole thing is served buffet style whenever it darned well gets done, on plates I can throw in the dishwasher and won't miss if they get broken.

I decorate the tree, because I enjoy it, and I like getting and wrapping presents. Any other decorations depend on what I feel in the mood to do. My rule is, "If I don't wanna, I'm not gonna." If someone in my family happens to want the big, ultimate present of the year, I'll look for it, although I don't shop on Black Friday, period. If I can't find it before Christmas, then they get a promissory note for the sucker, because everyone knows that the manufacturers deliberately keep the supply before Christmas limited, in order to maximize the obsession with getting one. A week after Christmas, they ship out a buttload of them. If that isn't good enough for whoever wanted the thing, whatever it is, then I'm going to seriously rethink whether that person even deserves a present.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Some families certainly are spread out. While I'm not the crafter or sewer that Cecilie1200 is, I'm planning on some special get togethers and things for my family and friends. Where we used to meet up in restaurants a lot of the time to exchange gifts and celebrate, I think 'home' more now seems good. Where in the past it was often 'me and my friends' I'm planning more on including spouses and kids that are home.

See, that's the trick. Ask yourself, "What do I need to do for this to be fun?" And then do that. It also helps if you've taught that attitude to your kids. I remember very few of the gifts I got growing up. The only holiday meal I remember was the year that the refrigerator died, and we couldn't get it repaired or replaced because everything was closed, so we had to eat chicken-fried steak and stuff that didn't leave leftovers to be stored.

What I DO remember is going to see the Christmas lights with my parents, and standing next to the piano while my mother played and we both sang carols for the family, and sitting up at night, watching Christmas movies with her while we both crocheted afghan squares to donate to the homeless shelter. And I remember my dad, who was usually busy at work, taking time off to take the three of us shopping to find the perfect gifts for Mom.

Always ask yourself, "What is everyone REALLY going to take away from this?"

 

[Annie]

See, that's the trick. Ask yourself, "What do I need to do for this to be fun?" And then do that. It also helps if you've taught that attitude to your kids. I remember very few of the gifts I got growing up. The only holiday meal I remember was the year that the refrigerator died, and we couldn't get it repaired or replaced because everything was closed, so we had to eat chicken-fried steak and stuff that didn't leave leftovers to be stored.

What I DO remember is going to see the Christmas lights with my parents, and standing next to the piano while my mother played and we both sang carols for the family, and sitting up at night, watching Christmas movies with her while we both crocheted afghan squares to donate to the homeless shelter. And I remember my dad, who was usually busy at work, taking time off to take the three of us shopping to find the perfect gifts for Mom.

Always ask yourself, "What is everyone REALLY going to take away from this?"

Good lord, that brought back memories! My mom and dad used to take us to city lights, as opposed to suburban lights. They never adjusted, make that assimilated to the suburbs. They had the income and did after JFK become Republicans, but they felt the city was the 'heart'.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Good lord, that brought back memories! My mom and dad used to take us to city lights, as opposed to suburban lights. They never adjusted, make that assimilated to the suburbs. They had the income and did after JFK become Republicans, but they felt the city was the 'heart'.

Where I grew up, there were a couple of really wealthy neighborhoods where the people decorated the outsides of their houses to a ridiculous degree, and we always went to see them. Plus, as we were driving around town, Mom and I would make a note of any impressive-looking displays down the side streets, and go back later to view them in a more leisurely fashion.

Where I live now, there's a neighborhood called Winterhaven, whose homeowners' association agreement requires everyone to decorate for Christmas. They have various awards they hand out, and horse-drawn hayrides that go through, and certain nights are designated for drive-throughs, while others are strictly pedestrian. They take up donations of canned and dry goods for the Community Food Bank, and the whole city goes to see them. My daughter, who is now 19, says going to see the lights with me every year is one of her strongest memories of childhood. The second date I ever went on with my husband was to see the Winterhaven light display.

 

[Shadow]

This will be the first year I don't buy gifts for extended family members (uncles,aunts, cousins etc). All of the little kids are getting too old for toys and want expensive items,so now that they are all teenagers and have jobs I will probably call it quits,send a card and just focus on my own kids and siblings.

I will put up a tree and all of that fun stuff,and this year I will be wrapping presents at the mall 2 nights a week for charity (which should be fun). Meeting new people,talking to shoppers etc...

My own christmas shopping has been done since the beginning of November,just need to buy a few small gifts for my secret santa person and co workers. My kids confessed that they know Santa is bogus (their words) so no Santa gifts this year ..woot!

 

[Cecilie1200]

This will be the first year I don't buy gifts for extended family members (uncles,aunts, cousins etc). All of the little kids are getting too old for toys and want expensive items,so now that they are all teenagers and have jobs I will probably call it quits,send a card and just focus on my own kids and siblings.

I will put up a tree and all of that fun stuff,and this year I will be wrapping presents at the mall 2 nights a week for charity (which should be fun). Meeting new people,talking to shoppers etc...

My own christmas shopping has been done since the beginning of November,just need to buy a few small gifts for my secret santa person and co workers. My kids confessed that they know Santa is bogus (their words) so no Santa gifts this year ..woot!

I never taught my kids to believe in Santa. I know, I know, now I'm going to have scads of people pouncing on me and hollering about "robbing their childhoods of magic" and whatnot. ::sigh::

I really want to do a little more this Christmas than I normally do in terms of decorating and such, because Danny's mother is a Jehovah's Witness, so this is the first year he will be celebrating Christmas. Judging by how much fun I had a few months ago introducing him to the concept of celebrating birthdays, this should be really entertaining.