Are you laughing or crying thinking about your upcoming family's Thanksgiving dinner?

[Meister]

Thread locked for a cleansing

Cleaned up thread, please keep it on topic going forward, thanks in advance.

 

[Unkotare]

There's nothing more important than family, and the holidays are a great time to gather with them.

 

[notmyfault2020]

There's nothing more important than family, and the holidays are a great time to gather with them.

there IS something more important: being right with Jesus.. Everyone has their own idea of what that means but anyhow..

I love my family but I do not like all of them. It is sad bc it doesn't have 2 b this way.. But people are free to work on relationships or not work on them and nothing u can do if they decide .. i dunno.. that certain people are not worth the trouble of having one with..

 

[WinterBorn]

This year, my sweetie and I are taking a train from Atlanta to New Orleans. There is a little bar at the edge of the French Quarter called Rosie's. Every Thanksgiving and Xmas they have a potluck dinner. All the locals bring a dish, and anyone else who brings something gets to eat free. We did it back in 2013 and it was wonderful. All the local cajun and creole dishes were excellent!

And it is a test run to see if we are comfortable enough (and my g/f doesn't get motion sick) to take the longer trip from Chicago to San Francisco (thru the western US and all the canyons and mountains).

We will see the family at Xmas.

 

[OhPleaseJustQuit]

wow.. .amazing the sad stories here!

What was the gist of the problem?

My sister-in-law's family were just really rude, boring people. I tried to ask if her mom wanted help in the kitchen and I got yelled at. I tried to give her a small gift suited for a hostess and I got yelled at. Just a very rude woman. My SIL's dad was interesting and told good stories, but it just wasn't worth it to put up with her screaming mom, just to avoid being alone on the holiday.

I have since learned to enjoy being alone on holidays. I'd prefer being with my own family, but alone is better than being insulted by people I don't like.

It's a shame because my SIL's aunt was a fascinating woman whom I really loved being with, but she was elsewhere that Christmas.

 

[notmyfault2020]

This year, my sweetie and I are taking a train from Atlanta to New Orleans. There is a little bar at the edge of the French Quarter called Rosie's. Every Thanksgiving and Xmas they have a potluck dinner. All the locals bring a dish, and anyone else who brings something gets to eat free. We did it back in 2013 and it was wonderful. All the local cajun and creole dishes were excellent!

And it is a test run to see if we are comfortable enough (and my g/f doesn't get motion sick) to take the longer trip from Chicago to San Francisco (thru the western US and all the canyons and mountains).

We will see the family at Xmas.

You are going to SF to visit family?

That would be the only valid reason to go there.

 

[notmyfault2020]

My sister-in-law's family were just really rude, boring people. I tried to ask if her mom wanted help in the kitchen and I got yelled at. I tried to give her a small gift suited for a hostess and I got yelled at. Just a very rude woman. My SIL's dad was interesting and told good stories, but it just wasn't worth it to put up with her screaming mom, just to avoid being alone on the holiday.

I have since learned to enjoy being alone on holidays. I'd prefer being with my own family, but alone is better than being insulted by people I don't like.

It's a shame because my SIL's aunt was a fascinating woman whom I really loved being with, but she was elsewhere that Christmas.

wow.. that woman is kinda odd.. I mean, most people are overly-polite, if anything, when there are guests and esp at holidays..

What's her problem?

 

[Ralph Norton]

while I was in the Navy, I spent many a Thanksgiving away from home.

Thank you for your service.
But FYI: I will still be calling you "dumb ass".

 

[OhPleaseJustQuit]

wow.. that woman is kinda odd.. I mean, most people are overly-polite, if anything, when there are guests and esp at holidays..

What's her problem?

I have no idea. I was just glad to reach the end of my need to ever have anything more to do with her. My SIL was almost as bad. I think my brother died just to get away from her.

 

[notmyfault2020]

I have no idea. I was just glad to reach the end of my need to ever have anything more to do with her. My SIL was almost as bad. I think my brother died just to get away from her.

Ws your brother unhappy in his marriage.. I mean, if the mother in law was rude to strangers.. God knows what she was like to family!

 

[OhPleaseJustQuit]

Ws your brother unhappy in his marriage.. I mean, if the mother in law was rude to strangers.. God knows what she was like to family!

I think my brother was on the edge of unhappy. He was not allowed to parent his step-daughters, but the same was not true of his wife and his children.

 

[WinterBorn]

You are going to SF to visit family?

That would be the only valid reason to go there.

The valid reason is the trip itself. SF is simply where the train ends up.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

Unfortunately the way of the American culture is family is a distant priority for virtually everyone beginning in the 1980s.
Prior to my generation ( was born in 1965, so I began my adult life around 1985) - older teens generally stayed near their families because it was not acceptable for most to move far away from them.
By my generation, that was no longer true. We took off to the nearest large city. Or farther.
Millennials of course did the same thing.
So in many families - the only time you see them IS the holidays. It is more out of obligatory visit than WANTING to visit.
You don't really know them anymore. And social media plays into that as well, giving a mirage of "staying connected".
The Holidays in the 60s and 70s was a major deal. Major.
Familes got together by the busload. I not only knew all of my first cousins, but were friends with them. Saw them regularly. That was normal then.
Today... it is nothing for first cousins to know nothing about each other than social media post.
Why would they want to spend the holidays with them?

 

[Unkotare]

wow.. that woman is kinda odd.. I mean, most people are overly-polite, if anything, when there are guests and esp at holidays..

What's her problem?

 

[Unkotare]

Thanksgiving is an especially apt time to gather with family and remind each other of all we should be grateful for.


Veteran's Day is coming soon.....

 

[OhPleaseJustQuit]

This particular woman was nasty because she was ignorant and her husband, who was far more intelligent than she was, probably regretted marrying beneath him. To his credit, he stuck with her instead of just dumping her. I always had the impression that he was very embarrassed by her nastiness.

 

[notmyfault2020]

I think my brother was on the edge of unhappy. He was not allowed to parent his step-daughters, but the same was not true of his wife and his children.

wow... I thought I got Dysfunctional Family Award at usmb!

well, if you knew the details of my family situation, you may think it's at least a toss up..

In any case, none of my family are rude to total strangers.. I can say that much about them. I could say other good things also but the bad kinda seems to.. um.. outweigh the good.. sad to say.

I think of that Marvin Gaye song..

Oh mercy mercy me.. Oh, things aint what they used to be..

My family used to be fairly normal and happy..

 

[notmyfault2020]

This particular woman was nasty because she was ignorant and her husband, who was far more intelligent than she was, probably regretted marrying beneath him. To his credit, he stuck with her instead of just dumping her. I always had the impression that he was very embarrassed by her nastiness.

well.. there was that thing I heard years ago about how men don't like intelligent women.. or women smarter than themselves anyhow.. Personally, I LOVE intelligent people of either gender.. get bored with people who.. may be intelligent but don't follow news.. I think it's important to be informed.. but anyhow

I sometimes wonder if my father regretted marrying my mother. Of course he would never admit to it. There is no communication in the family vis a vis important family issues/problems/concerns.. I get that from both sides, father's side and mother's.

just another thorn in my crown of mental thorns.. the lack of communication. They will talk all day and into the night about non-family stuff, but the big elephant in the room.. just sits there.. undisturbed.

 

[bodecea]

there IS something more important: being right with Jesus.. Everyone has their own idea of what that means but anyhow..

I love my family but I do not like all of them. It is sad bc it doesn't have 2 b this way.. But people are free to work on relationships or not work on them and nothing u can do if they decide .. i dunno.. that certain people are not worth the trouble of having one with..

We are not required to follow your religion.

 

[OhPleaseJustQuit]

well.. there was that thing I heard years ago about how men don't like intelligent women.. or women smarter than themselves anyhow.. Personally, I LOVE intelligent people of either gender.. get bored with people who.. may be intelligent but don't follow news.. I think it's important to be informed.. but anyhow

I sometimes wonder if my father regretted marrying my mother. Of course he would never admit to it. There is no communication in the family vis a vis important family issues/problems/concerns.. I get that from both sides, father's side and mother's.

just another thorn in my crown of mental thorns.. the lack of communication. They will talk all day and into the night about non-family stuff, but the big elephant in the room.. just sits there.. undisturbed.

That's a pretty sensitive observation!