1srelluc
Diamond Member
A 51-year-old systems engineer said he and his 52-year-old wife, a former registered nurse, recently stepped back from full-time work with $4 million in savings. He still works fewer than 20 hours a week on contract. She is fully retired.
Before that shift, he set a rule.
"I've also made it clear to my wife to never tell my family we have money and to pretend that we are dead broke," he said.
The reason, he added, has been consistent for years. "My family won't stop asking for money."
He said the issue wasn't a one-time ask. It was a pattern.
"My mom, dad and brother are terrible with money."
According to his post, his father and brother worked in oil and gas, bringing in strong income during good years but facing layoffs in others. He said the problem wasn't just the income swings, but what happened during the high-earning periods.
"They have never save anything so they run up credit cards to pay for everything."
Over time, his parents repeatedly borrowed against their home. After 35 years, he said they have barely reduced the balance.
"They should be retired by cant," he wrote, adding that his father is now working again in his 70s as a school bus driver "because they have so much debt and no money."
From his perspective, that history made the outcome predictable if his family knew he had money.
The decision to act "dead broke" came from experience, not theory.
When his family saw vacation photos in the past, "they found out via facebook… And came knocking for money."
To avoid that cycle, he and his wife downplayed their finances and stuck to a consistent story. At one point, they even said they had won money but already spent it.
Her side of the family, he said, knows they are doing well but "never ask for money." His side, he said, reacts differently.
So when they reached partial retirement, they kept the same approach.
"I didn't tell them because I know the results are they would just ask as for money constantly".
finance.yahoo.com
Never discuss personal finances with family. Not even your kids. Especially grown kids (young adults). Teach them about finances but never tell them about yours.
Tell them:
When I was young I was poor.....After a lifetime of hard work I am no longer young.
Before that shift, he set a rule.
"I've also made it clear to my wife to never tell my family we have money and to pretend that we are dead broke," he said.
The reason, he added, has been consistent for years. "My family won't stop asking for money."
He said the issue wasn't a one-time ask. It was a pattern.
"My mom, dad and brother are terrible with money."
According to his post, his father and brother worked in oil and gas, bringing in strong income during good years but facing layoffs in others. He said the problem wasn't just the income swings, but what happened during the high-earning periods.
"They have never save anything so they run up credit cards to pay for everything."
Over time, his parents repeatedly borrowed against their home. After 35 years, he said they have barely reduced the balance.
"They should be retired by cant," he wrote, adding that his father is now working again in his 70s as a school bus driver "because they have so much debt and no money."
From his perspective, that history made the outcome predictable if his family knew he had money.
The decision to act "dead broke" came from experience, not theory.
When his family saw vacation photos in the past, "they found out via facebook… And came knocking for money."
To avoid that cycle, he and his wife downplayed their finances and stuck to a consistent story. At one point, they even said they had won money but already spent it.
Her side of the family, he said, knows they are doing well but "never ask for money." His side, he said, reacts differently.
So when they reached partial retirement, they kept the same approach.
"I didn't tell them because I know the results are they would just ask as for money constantly".
Man, 51, Says He Retired With $4M But Told Wife To 'Pretend That We Are Dead Broke' So Family Wouldn't Ask For Help —They're 'Livid' After Finding Out
A couple spends decades saving, reaches partial retirement, and then makes an unusual decision: act like they have nothing. In a Reddit post, a 51-year-old systems engineer said he and his 52-year-old wife, a former registered nurse, recently stepped back...
finance.yahoo.com
Never discuss personal finances with family. Not even your kids. Especially grown kids (young adults). Teach them about finances but never tell them about yours.
Tell them:
When I was young I was poor.....After a lifetime of hard work I am no longer young.
