Ok and alrighty then!!!! Children, BEHAVE.
I am home. I am gassy but otherwise...just fine. Was I asleep? HAYELL NO. They just gave me a bit of demerol. Did it hurt? You but your ass (well, MY ass) it hurt. I was in a semi la la land but it was a concsious one. The rail on the bed is bent now because that is what I was holding on to for dear life. It felt like childbirth, but in my butt area. Cramps you wouldn't believe....then 3 pairs of hands pushing my guts this way and that and more drilling and air pumped and I am ARRRRRGGGGing like crazy and they are all saying "almost done! Hang in there! Almost done!".
The guard rail is now bent towards the center of the table because the demerol made my wrist joints stop hurting enough to bend the **** out of it as they tortured my colon.
I remember most of it but not all. The cramping is what probably zapped me out of my supposed dream state. It was not fun. I also remember between the "get ready, hon, almost done but have a short way to go yet" that I began to chant Ohm Mah Knee Pawd May Hum over and over and one of the nurses bending over me was whispering to the others "omg. She is speaking in tongues". I still had enough brain cells firing to briefly think about sitting up and pointing at all of them with the Hex Evil Eye sign while chanting, just to see what would happen but I didn't because the doc is from India and he knew what I was saying..and why. I heard him snort in my right ear after the nurse said that.
Next thing I knew...I was told I was all done and hubby was waiting for me. And farting a lot. And leaking a bit.
Never was told what was found, if anything. Nobody said if any polyps were located or removed. Nothing. So..I guess I have to call him in a day or so to ask him what he saw while in there.
Will I ever do this again? NO. Was the prep worse than the procedure....actually, yes.