sex on the first date

[ChrisL]

You also should have been seeing a psychiatrist. You have some serious mental issues.

Oh. No doubt! I may have taken a lover at 13. But I never intended on keeping him. I was always going to throw him back. Just like I threw two husbands back in the pond. They were good for whatever I needed them for. But when I was done, I was done.

When someone asks if a person would marry someone they had sex with on the first date, the answer depends on who is playing who? For what? How good are they at playing?

Why can't you just like someone? A relationship isn't supposed to be about what you can get from the other person. It is supposed to be about WANTING to spend time and be with that particular person. You miss that person when he is not around. You think about him fondly. You would be terribly hurt if anything happened to him. You really don't want to spend time with anyone else. That is what love is.

Why can't you just like someone. Well gee, I've liked most of the guys I've dated. I liked two of them that I married. I would have been terribly hurt if something happened to them. I was upset when my last husband died.

Still, the primary purpose for a relationship to me is, what can I get. What kind of good can you do for me. When he can no longer meet the need I chose him for, he's done, out the door.

The difference between you and I is that you are a very nice woman who appreciates a good man in a loving relationship. Am I right?

I am a predator. I have always been a predator. Likely, I will die an old predator. I don't form relationships. I hunt prey. Sex is bait. It's always been bait. Nothing more. What can he do for me? What advantage can I get? Love is not nearly as satisfying as getting what I want. And once I get what I want, I simply don't love them any more. Like a housecat that catches a mouse and rips its head off. Then loses interest in the carcass.
See how different we really are?

How old are you?

Just had a birthday. I am 69! So I have definitely had my day and what a day it was too. I wouldn't change a second of it.

Well maybe a few seconds here and there.

Well you have a childish view, and that is probably due to your history with men. You have been soured at a very young age because you weren't actually ready for any kind of adult commitment.

 

[charwin95]

Is there a protocol of this first date? Is there a cut off date?
I had sex with first date when I was 15 when I lost my virginity, first date when I was 16, 17 , 18, and so on and so on.
I was 25 years old when I met my wife of 34 years and still going strong. We made love after at least ( I think) 8 or 10 dates.

 

[ChrisL]

Very tough to say. I was never a proponent of sex on the first date. Only did it once in roughly 25 years of dating. Didn't do it with the woman who became my wife. Had a,tital of three dates with the woman I did have sex with on the first date.

I have certainly had sex on the first date more than one time. Usually because I had already prowled around and chosen my target to meet a particular need.

Oh geesh, I should just sit back and let YOU two argue. Now that might be interesting.

 

[Anathema]

I have certainly had sex on the first date more than one time. Usually because I had already prowled around and chosen my target to meet a particular need.

To me the point of dating was alwaya the search for a wife, not just a set of holes. Even in high school and college. Different sets if priorities.

 

[Anathema]

Oh geesh, I should just sit back and let YOU two argue. Now that might be interesting.

No argument necessary, just two different sets of priorities.

 

[Katzndogz]

I have certainly had sex on the first date more than one time. Usually because I had already prowled around and chosen my target to meet a particular need.

To me the point of dating was alwaya the search for a wife, not just a set of holes. Even in high school and college. Different sets if priorities.

I have always felt a little badly about dating men that wanted to settle down. Almost as if I was cheating them somehow. It never stopped me, but I had a shred of sympathy for about 5 seconds.

 

[Katzndogz]

Oh. No doubt! I may have taken a lover at 13. But I never intended on keeping him. I was always going to throw him back. Just like I threw two husbands back in the pond. They were good for whatever I needed them for. But when I was done, I was done.

When someone asks if a person would marry someone they had sex with on the first date, the answer depends on who is playing who? For what? How good are they at playing?

Why can't you just like someone? A relationship isn't supposed to be about what you can get from the other person. It is supposed to be about WANTING to spend time and be with that particular person. You miss that person when he is not around. You think about him fondly. You would be terribly hurt if anything happened to him. You really don't want to spend time with anyone else. That is what love is.

Why can't you just like someone. Well gee, I've liked most of the guys I've dated. I liked two of them that I married. I would have been terribly hurt if something happened to them. I was upset when my last husband died.

Still, the primary purpose for a relationship to me is, what can I get. What kind of good can you do for me. When he can no longer meet the need I chose him for, he's done, out the door.

The difference between you and I is that you are a very nice woman who appreciates a good man in a loving relationship. Am I right?

I am a predator. I have always been a predator. Likely, I will die an old predator. I don't form relationships. I hunt prey. Sex is bait. It's always been bait. Nothing more. What can he do for me? What advantage can I get? Love is not nearly as satisfying as getting what I want. And once I get what I want, I simply don't love them any more. Like a housecat that catches a mouse and rips its head off. Then loses interest in the carcass.
See how different we really are?

How old are you?

Just had a birthday. I am 69! So I have definitely had my day and what a day it was too. I wouldn't change a second of it.

Well maybe a few seconds here and there.

Well you have a childish view, and that is probably due to your history with men. You have been soured at a very young age because you weren't actually ready for any kind of adult commitment.

I could not have been soured because I was always in charge.

I will say that if I had been more experienced and realized what a superlative lover my first was, i might have handled things differently. No one told me that I would have to go 30 years before I found another.

 

[Moonglow]

Do hookers count as a date?

 

[Searcher44]

Ahhh.....that question takes me back to the good old 50's...

 

[Katzndogz]

Ahhh.....that question takes me back to the good old 50's...

That's the last time it was important.

 

[Anathema]

I have always felt a little badly about dating men that wanted to settle down. Almost as if I was cheating them somehow. It never stopped me, but I had a shred of sympathy for about 5 seconds.

Can I assume that you were not open about the fact that you weren't looking for a relationship?

Honestly, I generally found it pretty easy to figure out who was and wasn't looking long-term in short order. I was kooking for something very specific and if it wasn't there i has no problem bailing, even in the middle of a date if things went badly.

 

[Katzndogz]

I have always felt a little badly about dating men that wanted to settle down. Almost as if I was cheating them somehow. It never stopped me, but I had a shred of sympathy for about 5 seconds.

Can I assume that you were not open about the fact that you weren't looking for a relationship?

Honestly, I generally found it pretty easy to figure out who was and wasn't looking long-term in short order. I was kooking for something very specific and if it wasn't there i has no problem bailing, even in the middle of a date if things went badly.

Of course not. I was very careful to act as if I was though if I knew that was what he wanted. After all I was not dating men willy-nilly. I made my choices very carefully, depending on what it was I needed at the time. Being exactly what the poor dear wanted was part of the game. As I said, as a predator I was well versed in using camouflage.

 

[Anathema]

Of course not. I was very careful to act as if I was though if I knew that was what he wanted. After all I was not dating men willy-nilly. I made my choices very carefully, depending on what it was I needed at the time. Being exactly what the poor dear wanted was part of the game. As I said, as a predator I was well versed in using camouflage.

Ok, then I have a question........

At the best point in my life I was a thirty-six year old professional making about $75K a year, with no savings and living in a one-bedroom rented condo. I was in good shape but I have a brutally obvious birth defect. I was looking for a housewife and homemaker who was willing to take a traditional and supporting role in a relationship where sex was not a highly important function of the relationship and children were not sn interest of mine at all.

Would you have even taken a second look at someone like me? I don't think so. Nor do I believe you would have had anything significant to offer me.

 

[Katzndogz]

I never held myself out as a housewife or homemaker for more than a couple of hours. I was a high powered criminal defense attorney who just liked to have the men in,my life do things for me and give me shiney presents. Presents that I could obviously buy myself.

You talk about a second look. For what? If you were in a position to benefit me, say you knew a certain judge and what would grab his interest. You could look like Quasimodo and live in a cave. Once my case was done, why, you would be done too.

 

[waltky]

sex on the first date

Uncle Ferd all for it...

... says he ain't plannin' on gettin' married anyway.

 

[Katzndogz]

Don't get me all wrong. It's wonderful when people meet and fall in love. Nothing is sweeter than a really long term marriage where the people care for one another.

It's touching that people still think about things like sex on the first date and what it means to a relationship.

It is just nothing that I would ever experience.

 

[Anathema]

I never held myself out as a housewife or homemaker for more than a couple of hours. I was a high powered criminal defense attorney who just liked to have the men in,my life do things for me and give me shiney presents. Presents that I could obviously buy myself.

You talk about a second look. For what? If you were in a position to benefit me, say you knew a certain judge and what would grab his interest. You could look like Quasimodo and live in a cave. Once my case was done, why, you would be done too.

In other words we would never have had any reason to interact st all. I have no monet, power, or contacts with either.

You are/were the type of woman I believe has been destroying our society for the last century. I hope you enjoyed this life because your next one will not be anywhere near as pleasant. Whereas my mother, who is your sge, will receive the fruits of her life as a devoted mother, housewife, and now grandmother.

Have a nice day.

 

[danielpalos]

i think it may be a "blessing in disguise" to not have women come up to me when it is inconvenient, and insist it is my turn. now, i know i don't have to play any "female games" if there is no porn in it for me.

 

[Jarlaxle]

I saw my second husband in an elevator and had sex with him in the elevator before "hello". We got married a month after I got rid of my first husband. We were married for 14 years.

GO Tipsy!! Gotta love a woman who goes after what she wants. Sounds like quite an elevator ride. lol

Yeah, if you're into bunny boilers.

 

[Jarlaxle]

15 is still a child anyways. Fifteen year old girls are still children. So are 16-year-old girls. These are mentally and emotionally still children, like it or not.

16 is the legal age of consent in most states.

It's also the age that my grandmother got married.