Hate and Rage-- What's the difference?

[Dhara]

My sister told me something surprising very recently. She said when she was 18 she finally hit my aunt back. (after a lifetime of abuse). It stopped my aunt for once.

 

[ZackB]

Interestingly, inappropriate and/or excessive anger is associated with a great many mental health issues, ie ADD, personality disorders, particularly narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and, of course, depression.

The problem of rage, hatred and anger is suppressing it, labelling it always negative and turning it inward. The idea that it's ALWAYS inappropriate to be angry.

Anger is a basic emotion. It's energy. In Buddhist teachings it's a form of wisdom.

You suppress it until you calm down so that you can release it in a calm, rational environment. It's like waiting until you get home to jerk off instead of doing it in the car while driving.

 

[Ravi]

Interestingly, inappropriate and/or excessive anger is associated with a great many mental health issues, ie ADD, personality disorders, particularly narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and, of course, depression.

But not fighting tigers.

 

[Dhara]

Interesting how many different opinions there are on the topic. I think plenty of people don't own their anger because they judge it so harshly. It can be a life saver.

 

[ZackB]

My sister told me something surprising very recently. She said when she was 18 she finally hit my aunt back. (after a lifetime of abuse). It stopped my aunt for once.

I should hope so. At 18 she was an adult. Unless the aunt was pretty spry she would probably be getting her ass kicked!

 

[saveliberty]

When a child is abused, they may inwardly rage at the abuse, but isn't safe to express it. The idea that the emotion of rage should ALWAYS be suppressed is wrong.

The idea is to subordinate uncontrollable emotions like rage in a rational way, not to let them run wild. There is nothing wrong with bottling it up for a day or two then letting it out in a controlled manner. It's like running outside to free a big wet colon sneeze.

Kids need to be taught how to identify and control their emotions, not how to blow off steam. Dhara is 100% wrong here.

Agreed, and often this is why those kids grow up and repeat the cycle. No suppression technique was learned and practiced. It falls within a psychology of being a victim and not working through that.

 

[Dhara]

Aristotle, the best known of the philosophers in the school of virtue ethics, wrote that “the man who is angry at the right things and with the right people, and, further, as he ought, when he ought, and as long as he ought, is praised” (Nicomachean Ethics, IV.5). As with all things, Aristotle felt that anger is good insofar as it is appropriate and moderate, neither too weak nor too strong, and applied at the right time.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201509/thinking-about-the-rationality-rage

 

[Ravi]

I've never heard of anyone being enraged against themself.

It seems unlikely, but then again being angry at yourself is irrational true?

Not always. It would depend on the situation and if the anger results in a positive action.

 

[ZackB]

When I was 15 a trusted person tried to sexually assault me. My anger saved my life, literally. I beat the unholy shit out of that fucker.

 

[saveliberty]

When a child is abused, they may inwardly rage at the abuse, but isn't safe to express it. The idea that the emotion of rage should ALWAYS be suppressed is wrong.

The rage solves NOTHING. Talking to a counselor or law enforcement officer might.

The rage doesn't have to DO anything but be felt.

That is the thing about rage, it is not a controlled situation, if it was it would not be rage.

 

[Dhara]

When a child is abused, they may inwardly rage at the abuse, but isn't safe to express it. The idea that the emotion of rage should ALWAYS be suppressed is wrong.

The idea is to subordinate uncontrollable emotions like rage in a rational way, not to let them run wild. There is nothing wrong with bottling it up for a day or two then letting it out in a controlled manner. It's like running outside to free a big wet colon sneeze.

Kids need to be taught how to identify and control their emotions, not how to blow off steam. Dhara is 100% wrong here.

Agreed, and often this is why those kids grow up and repeat the cycle. No suppression technique was learned and practiced. It falls within a psychology of being a victim and not working through that.

Taking a beating and never fighting back isn't valuable. Healthy entitlement includes a healthy anger and rage.

 

[Uncensored2008]

I've never heard of anyone being enraged against themself.

You're kidding?

Last weekend I was crunching a linear regression of takt times and they wouldn't conform to the model I constructed. Frustration gave way to rage and I called my poor computer some very unkind names. The only person I was angry with was myself. Wherever the mistake was, I made it (faulty look up of f distribution, passed a .025 confidence instead of a .05 resulting in the acceptance of the null hypothesis.)

About the only person in life who can enrage me, is me.

 

[Dhara]

When a child is abused, they may inwardly rage at the abuse, but isn't safe to express it. The idea that the emotion of rage should ALWAYS be suppressed is wrong.

The rage solves NOTHING. Talking to a counselor or law enforcement officer might.

The rage doesn't have to DO anything but be felt.

That is the thing about rage, it is not a controlled situation, if it was it would not be rage.

That implies that rage ALWAYS in uncontrollably expressed. It isn't.

 

[ZackB]

I reported it to the police. They never would do anything. I became enraged.

 

[Tilly]

Rage and anger aren't "rational", they are strong emotions from an old, survival part of the brain. Stop bringing your FZ presumptions into the thread and we can have an interesting discussion,"Ravi".

Anger is rational. Rage is not. Not sure what your last sentence had to do with the discussion.

Rage can be appropriate. It's what kicks in and allows you to fight for your life, when attacked by a tiger.

Incorrect. You'd have better luck trying to escape or trying to play with the tiger. Sometimes predators play with their prey. Sometimes prey can escape predators. Fighting a tiger would be irrational but it is not caused by rage.

Potter-Efron lists four types of rage reactions: 1.Survival Rage, a perceived threat to one’s physical existence. 2. Impotent Rage, a threat to one’s control over his/her life. 3. Shame- Based Rage, a threat to loss of self-esteem. 4. Abandonment Rage, loss of an intimate relationship

 

[Dhara]

Rage doesn't have to be out of control. It can be just felt.

 

[saveliberty]

So where does, "don't get mad, get even" fit?

 

[Dhara]

Rage in response to cruelty may be completely approriate.

 

[ZackB]

I was so enraged that I went to the perp and did things to him.

 

[ZackB]

Angry things....