Would You Cheat on a Spouse?

[jillian]

It could be a bit embarrassing if the dog did that when guests were over.

 

[GHook93]

What if the spouse just refused to have sex?

No, never. If my marriage is that bad, I'll get a divorce and THEN I'll go looking for someone else, but as long as I'm married, I'm faithful.

I have no respect for anyone that cheats on their spouse. If you are in a bad marriage, get out, then you can do what you want, but until then, you owe it to you spouse and your own honor to remain faithful.

Getting divorce isn't that easy, esp when you have kids!

 

[Dis]

You can't find comfort in a friend? You can only find it in sex with someone other than the person you made the vows "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, in good times, and in bad" with?

LMAO.

yeah, you shouldn't have sex for 10 to 15 years of your life.

Get a friggen BOB. You made the vows, and when it becomes inconvenient for you, and you're feeling a little put out, you can just forsake them?

 

[jillian]

yes, it is fair now jillian....

But there are still an awful lot of gay couples and hetero couples that relied on this health care coverage...

And in Massachusetts, it was fair, before Gay marriage as well, because health care coverage was offered to any partner living with you....gay or hetero. Massachusetts has always been pretty good about that...

I don't know why it had to change?

it changed because people want to be married. that may have been problematic for some and I understand that they relied on it. but it is what it is. and, ultimately, it's about equality.... not about creating special interest groups, IMO. (although it might not have killed the state to leave the coverage in place for people who already had it and just not allow anyone new to get it).

 

[jillian]

You can't find comfort in a friend? You can only find it in sex with someone other than the person you made the vows "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, in good times, and in bad" with?

LMAO.

yeah, you shouldn't have sex for 10 to 15 years of your life.

Get a friggen BOB. You made the vows, and when it becomes inconvenient for you, and you're feeling a little put out, you can just forsake them?

you need to get a grip on your holier than thou self. "a little inconvenient"? "feeling put out"? are you retarded? seriously.... or is it that you couldn't care less if you had sex, so no one else should get any either?

explains a lot.

No one says you should "foresake them", drama queen. That's the point! And what the heck is a BOB?

 

[Shogun]

Indeed!

Regarding incapacitated spouses though, I have to wonder how the "till death do us part, for better or for worse" becomes invalid in this day and age of sex shop options. True, a husband with Alzheimer's probably can't reciprocate intimacy like he once could.... but i'm thinking this falls under the "better or worse" part of the marriage vows.

 

[Dis]

yeah, you shouldn't have sex for 10 to 15 years of your life.

Get a friggen BOB. You made the vows, and when it becomes inconvenient for you, and you're feeling a little put out, you can just forsake them?

you need to get a grip on your holier than thou self. "a little inconvenient"? "feeling put out"? are you retarded? seriously.... or is it that you couldn't care less if you had sex, so no one else should get any either?

explains a lot.

I'm saying you're pretty damned selfish if you're putting your physical comfort above that of the person you vowed to love above all else. Hell, why not just meander off and get a divorce, or toss'm in a nursing establishment? Then you can hie off and get laid 3 times a day if you want.

The fact that you can just leave them lying there and flounce out the door and jump into someone elses bed speaks volumes..

 

[Dis]

Indeed!

Regarding incapacitated spouses though, I have to wonder how the "till death do us part, for better or for worse" becomes invalid in this day and age of sex shop options. True, a husband with Alzheimer's probably can't reciprocate intimacy like he once could.... but i'm thinking this falls under the "better or worse" part of the marriage vows.

One would think.

But, apparently not. Once they become an inconvenience, scrap'm, and look for an upgrade.

 

[jillian]

Indeed!

Regarding incapacitated spouses though, I have to wonder how the "till death do us part, for better or for worse" becomes invalid in this day and age of sex shop options. True, a husband with Alzheimer's probably can't reciprocate intimacy like he once could.... but i'm thinking this falls under the "better or worse" part of the marriage vows.

Even Abraham was allowed a surrogate partner when Sarah couldn't give him a child. I'm not saying it's the way to go. I'm simply saying that people get through sucky situations best they can. And there's no point to judging others. And you do realize that for most people, sex is more than an orgasm, right? So a life of sex toys might not cut it.

 

[GHook93]

What if the spouse just refused to have sex?

Than you are like the billions of other married people in the!

Shit WJ I can't relate with you on much (mainly because you are a red-neck racist freak !), but this might be one of them! The wife used to be a freak, well when we were dating and in the first few years of marriage. Baby one came and well things slowed down. Baby 2 and well, you get the picture.

I have personally thought about it! I have kept myself in decent shape! Not sure my game is as good though.

Then I thought about not seeing my kids everyday and that just seemed more important!

 

[Shogun]

Indeed!

Regarding incapacitated spouses though, I have to wonder how the "till death do us part, for better or for worse" becomes invalid in this day and age of sex shop options. True, a husband with Alzheimer's probably can't reciprocate intimacy like he once could.... but i'm thinking this falls under the "better or worse" part of the marriage vows.

Even Abraham was allowed a surrogate partner when Sarah couldn't give him a child. I'm not saying it's the way to go. I'm simply saying that people get through sucky situations best they can. And there's no point to judging others. And you do realize that for most people, sex is more than an orgasm, right? So a life of sex toys might not cut it.

There are a lot of things from the OT that we don't really observe under our America Tradition of Marriage. Saul had concubines but we haven't worked that into our system yet.. Even the child of David and Bathsheba paid the price for their infidelity....

Yes, I know that sex is more than an orgasm. Much like marriage vows are more than words.

 

[Care4all]

The Abraham story hasn't turned out too well Jillian....just look at the middle east today...

I agree with you, that God does give us free will, and that includes making a mistake...

But to me, the story of Abraham and Sarah and Haagar having ishmael because sarah and abraham could not conceive was a story about his temporary lack of FAITH in God, to answer their prayers and give them a child, Isaac.

And the consequences of this mistake of abraham's choice in using Haagar as surrogate or additional wife has punished the generations to follow.

But yes, i agree with you that God allows free will, and God allowed Abraham this free will and LOVED HIM NO LESS, for his choices, even if they were mistakes.

That's kinda how I see it!

 

[PoliticalChic]

Indeed!

Regarding incapacitated spouses though, I have to wonder how the "till death do us part, for better or for worse" becomes invalid in this day and age of sex shop options. True, a husband with Alzheimer's probably can't reciprocate intimacy like he once could.... but i'm thinking this falls under the "better or worse" part of the marriage vows.

Can everyone be as doting and caring as Nancy Reagan, as she was for 10 years? Once Alzheimer's ravages the brain, you can't even have a coherent conversation with someone who is afflicted.

 

[AllieBaba]

Nope. I've never done that. I just wouldn't condemn someone else who did. Have you ever seen someone die a slow death of dementia?

Talk about judgmental, eh? It's easy for holier than thou types to sentence other people to a life of no sex or intimacy and just being a caretaker. I think some people want to be martyrs so they like seeing other people as miserable as possible. Personally, I think people do what they can to get by in situations like that.

Who the hell is sentencing anyone? It's a choice. You can either be devoted to your spouse regardless of the inconvenience, or you can not be.

 

[Care4all]

Now, on the other new topic....I think it all depends.

Every circumstance may be different and there is no true yes or no answer that any of us could truely answer without being in the circumstance ourselves....

too many nuances to flat out say, yes i would cheat on a spouse if they had altzheimers for a decade...

I mean, what if you had children around?

Would it be an open relationship where the cheating is out in the public?

What if you were 65 when he or she came down with it?

What if you were 50 and all the kids gone?

What if you and your husband have already discussed this situation together and have given eachother permission to do such?

so many what ifs....

I would like to think that my husband or I would not "cheat" under those circumstances...

but you all have given me a topic to discuss with my husband....maybe it wouldn't be cheating in his eyes? I don't know?

 

[AllieBaba]

What if the spouse just refused to have sex?

Than you are like the billions of other married people in the!

Shit WJ I can't relate with you on much (mainly because you are a red-neck racist freak !), but this might be one of them! The wife used to be a freak, well when we were dating and in the first few years of marriage. Baby one came and well things slowed down. Baby 2 and well, you get the picture.

I have personally thought about it! I have kept myself in decent shape! Not sure my game is as good though.

Then I thought about not seeing my kids everyday and that just seemed more important!

Boo fucking hoo.

Men conveniently forget that when they were single, they didn't get any sex at all, the losers.

 

[Shogun]

Indeed!

Regarding incapacitated spouses though, I have to wonder how the "till death do us part, for better or for worse" becomes invalid in this day and age of sex shop options. True, a husband with Alzheimer's probably can't reciprocate intimacy like he once could.... but i'm thinking this falls under the "better or worse" part of the marriage vows.

Can everyone be as doting and caring as Nancy Reagan, as she was for 10 years? Once Alzheimer's ravages the brain, you can't even have a coherent conversation with someone who is afflicted.

I would advise you amend your marriage vows then. Hopefully, if you are ever incapacitated then your current spouse won't start asking similar questions.

 

[PoliticalChic]

Indeed!

Regarding incapacitated spouses though, I have to wonder how the "till death do us part, for better or for worse" becomes invalid in this day and age of sex shop options. True, a husband with Alzheimer's probably can't reciprocate intimacy like he once could.... but i'm thinking this falls under the "better or worse" part of the marriage vows.

Can everyone be as doting and caring as Nancy Reagan, as she was for 10 years? Once Alzheimer's ravages the brain, you can't even have a coherent conversation with someone who is afflicted.

I would advise you amend your marriage vows then. Hopefully, if you are ever incapacitated then your current spouse won't start asking similar questions.

God forbid, if I became afflicted with Alzheimer's, because I love my husband, I wouldn't expect him to "stay" by my side a 100% of time, especially if I can't even be of any emotional support.

 

[Paulie]

Can everyone be as doting and caring as Nancy Reagan, as she was for 10 years? Once Alzheimer's ravages the brain, you can't even have a coherent conversation with someone who is afflicted.

I would advise you amend your marriage vows then. Hopefully, if you are ever incapacitated then your current spouse won't start asking similar questions.

God forbid, if I became afflicted with Alzheimer's, because I love my husband, I wouldn't expect him to "stay" by my side a 100% of time, especially if I can't even be of any emotional support.

If cheating would be ok with you, that's not a bad thing, if you're still maintaining your vows to be together until death.

Marriage doesn't have to be synonymous with sex. If you'd be ok with your husband getting laid somewhere else because you're incapacitated by a disease, then so be it. If you maintain your marriage until death, you completed your agreement.

If sex makes or breaks a marriage, you better have already figured that part out before diving in. And you also ought to realize it's not always going to be the same as it was the first earth-shattering time. That's the for better or for worse part. When the marriage gets bad, you do what you have to do to work through it and be stronger in the end. That was the vow you took, afterall.

 

[AllieBaba]

I just would really like somebody to point out where it's a "requirement" that adults get a certain amount of sex each day?