Would You Cheat on a Spouse?

[007]

I never would have guessed this topic could have ground on for this long...

 

[roomy]

What a threadWell done folks.

 

[jillian]

North Carolina History Project : Marriage, History of

ok, found some history on it...

it is primarily for inheritance reasons....rightful heirs to an estate....when someone dies....

See, marriage is about property rights, inheritance and taxes. It's a way to get health insurance too.

You are speaking only of the legal contract with the state. Marriage is also a promise between two people and God.

that' would be a RELIGIOUS marriage... having nothing to do with marriage as enacted by the State.

 

[jillian]

North Carolina History Project : Marriage, History of

ok, found some history on it...

it is primarily for inheritance reasons....rightful heirs to an estate....when someone dies....

See, marriage is about property rights, inheritance and taxes. It's a way to get health insurance too.

You are speaking only of the legal contract with the state. Marriage is also a promise between two people and God.

because marriage as a legal entity has nothing to do with religion.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

See, marriage is about property rights, inheritance and taxes. It's a way to get health insurance too.

You are speaking only of the legal contract with the state. Marriage is also a promise between two people and God.

because marriage as a legal entity has nothing to do with religion.

You are aware, being a lawyer and all, that if one marries a foreigner just for the purpose of conveying legal immigration status on them it is a crime? So much for it is just a legal contract.

Anyone that claims marriage is just a legal contract is a fool and most likely will not be married for long.

 

[jillian]

You are speaking only of the legal contract with the state. Marriage is also a promise between two people and God.

because marriage as a legal entity has nothing to do with religion.

You are aware, being a lawyer and all, that if one marries a foreigner just for the purpose of conveying legal immigration status on them it is a crime? So much for it is just a legal contract.

Anyone that claims marriage is just a legal contract is a fool and most likely will not be married for long.

It is illegal to marry someone in order to convey citizenship because it is fraud on the government.... which is always illegal.

 

[catzmeow]

Anyone that claims marriage is just a legal contract is a fool and most likely will not be married for long.

So, a person has to believe in God to be successful at marriage???

 

[RetiredGySgt]

Anyone that claims marriage is just a legal contract is a fool and most likely will not be married for long.

So, a person has to believe in God to be successful at marriage???

I did not say that. But claiming marriage is just some legal contract is ignorant.

Some more examples of how marriage is not JUST a contract. A lot of places that offer spousal benefits will not pay them if they discover the marriage is just a convenience between two people to collect benefits. One can have a marriage ANNULLED for failure to consumate the marriage.

And Jillian if all marriage is is a legal contract, how is it fraud if one marries for the express purpose of providing immigrant status? Is that not a legal contract?

 

[jillian]

legal "contract" is your words.

don't distort what people say.

marriage is a construct of the state. the "religious" issues that go into some marriages, do so at the choice of the people involved, but have nothing to do with the legality of marriage, itself.

that is why if i get divorced, i do so in court. but if i want a religious divorce such that i can get remarried in a temple, then i have to go to a bais din.

 

[dilloduck]

What if the spouse just refused to have sex?

Than you are like the billions of other married people in the!

Shit WJ I can't relate with you on much (mainly because you are a red-neck racist freak !), but this might be one of them! The wife used to be a freak, well when we were dating and in the first few years of marriage. Baby one came and well things slowed down. Baby 2 and well, you get the picture.

I have personally thought about it! I have kept myself in decent shape! Not sure my game is as good though.

Then I thought about not seeing my kids everyday and that just seemed more important!

Boo fucking hoo.

Men conveniently forget that when they were single, they didn't get any sex at all, the losers.

I hope you just forgot to put up a sarcastic or laughing smilie.

 

[Care4all]

Honestly, this has been a great thread that William started and then ran off from....there have been so many side discussions and "What if" discussions that stemmed off of william's original question, and i think i learned a thing or two, about humans or at least confirmed some of my hunches.

I think some women have mostly approached their answers to the various scenarios in a way that defines "cheat" differently than some of the men or at least william has defined in so many words the term "cheat".... women see it as a side "relationship" of intimacy and some men seem to see it as "sex", fullfilling a duty kind of thing.

And yes, there are gender cross overs where women see it as just "sex" as well.... like what i think Catzmeow has indicated, but even with her, i believe intimacy is implied with her 'would hate going the rest of her life without sex' comment.

Many have expressed that intimacy does not necessary take having sex all the time when you are married and I whole heartedly agree, some have mentioned that this is what the 'for better, for worse' means if you have taken religious vows, and you just work through things....and you can if you have the intimacy that i am talking about....because you are still very loving and close, but circumstance has slowed the sex down a bit, could be a hectic, stressful job, or a bunch of rugrats....when you love eachother and have the intimacy down pat....you can get by without the sexual contact with your mate by "taking care of yourself" in the sexual manner through the 'tough times'.

The problem with this, at least according to the Bible, which for Christians, requires you to have sex with one another and even 'good' sex at that, if you pay attention to it.... , is that by not having a sexual relationship with your partner (for the reason of just not wanting to), puts your partner in the "reach of temptation"....God built us to want to have sex, a sexual desire....reproduce and multiply is the result....

Not to say that there are not some men and women that do get all the sex in the world at home, but for some reason, still seek it elsewhere...... this usually stems from inner problems of the person cheating....whether it be their own insecurities, high labido, or they are getting the sex at home in a robotic sense, but not the 'intimacy'.


While both are having sex outside the marriage, and both are ultimately cheating, we may not be talking about the same thing here, ya know?

Care

 

[Red Dawn]

Would You Cheat on a Spouse?

What if the spouse just refused to have sex?

That's a stupd question.

What's the reason she would refuse to have sex? Does the dude punch her in the face and verbally abuse her? Or, is there some other intimacy and communication problems in the relationship? There's a billion reasons loss of intimacy between spouses can happen.

And none of them justify cheating. The only ethical answers to your question are:

talk to her.
get couples counseling.
Or get divorced.

 

[dilloduck]

Would You Cheat on a Spouse?

What if the spouse just refused to have sex?

That's a stupd question.

What's the reason she would refuse to have sex? Does the dude punch her in the face and verbally abuse her? Or, is there some other intimacy and communication problems in the relationship? There's a billion reasons loss of intimacy between spouses can happen.

And none of them justify cheating. The only ethical answers to your question are:

talk to her.
get couples counseling.
Or get divorced.

A very touching and helpful response. Deep too !

 

[RodISHI]

I think there are many reason people in relationships can get into that rut of no sexual intimacy.

One couple my family knew had a problem in this department. The guy had not touched his wife in 18 years. He was taught and thought sex was only for having children. Two kid's and it stop from there. She was fed up and trying to deal with the problem from her end. She asked her doctor, "What should I do this is driving me crazy." He told her she could leave him, cheat on him or determine to live without sex.

They were both Catholics. So she was in the quandry of committing a major sin and he would not just have sex with her for all those years because he thought it was a sin. After long thoughts on the matter and trying everything possible to entice her hubby to no avail she decided she was going to cheat.

(She related this story to my mom)
She got dressed up and went to the nearest town and stopped at the first bar she saw. Nervous as could be she hesitated in her car for a few moment reflecting and asking herself if she could actually do this. Finally she got up the courage to get out of her car and head toward the bar. She walked through the door of the bar and from down at the other end of the bar someone yelled, "Fresh meat!" Mortified she walked back out to her car. Got in and drove home.

In time she and her hubby worked it out and they are now a very happy couple traveling the world together.

 

[dilloduck]

I think there are many reason people in relationships can get into that rut of no sexual intimacy.

One couple my family knew had a problem in this department. The guy had not touched his wife in 18 years. He was taught and thought sex was only for having children. Two kid's and it stop from there. She was fed up and trying to deal with the problem from her end. She asked her doctor, "What should I do this is driving me crazy." He told her she could leave him, cheat on him or determine to live without sex.

They were both Catholics. So she was in the quandry of committing a major sin and he would not just have sex with her for all those years because he thought it was a sin. After long thoughts on the matter and trying everything possible to entice her hubby to no avail she decided she was going to cheat.

(She related this story to my mom)
She got dressed up and went to the nearest town and stopped at the first bar she saw. Nervous as could be she hesitated in her car for a few moment reflecting and asking herself if she could actually do this. Finally she got up the courage to get out of her car and head toward the bar. She walked through the door of the bar and from down at the other end of the bar someone yelled, "Fresh meat!" Mortified she walked back out to her car. Got in and drove home.

In time she and her hubby worked it out and they are now a very happy couple traveling the world together.

I was wondering why she ran away so fast---gotta work on my pick up lines.

Good story--thanks

 

[GHook93]

Would You Cheat on a Spouse?

What if the spouse just refused to have sex?

That's a stupd question.

What's the reason she would refuse to have sex? Does the dude punch her in the face and verbally abuse her? Or, is there some other intimacy and communication problems in the relationship? There's a billion reasons loss of intimacy between spouses can happen.

And none of them justify cheating. The only ethical answers to your question are:

talk to her.
get couples counseling.
Or get divorced.

Not true (well maybe in WJ situation, but in most situations its untrue).

You have the old joke, what is the best birth control medicine a woman can take?
- Wedding Cake


I think after a woman gets married her sex drive goes way down. Then after Jr comes, it is even worse!

 

[Paulie]

God forbid, if I became afflicted with Alzheimer's, because I love my husband, I wouldn't expect him to "stay" by my side a 100% of time, especially if I can't even be of any emotional support.

If cheating would be ok with you, that's not a bad thing, if you're still maintaining your vows to be together until death.

Marriage doesn't have to be synonymous with sex. If you'd be ok with your husband getting laid somewhere else because you're incapacitated by a disease, then so be it. If you maintain your marriage until death, you completed your agreement.

If sex makes or breaks a marriage, you better have already figured that part out before diving in. And you also ought to realize it's not always going to be the same as it was the first earth-shattering time. That's the for better or for worse part. When the marriage gets bad, you do what you have to do to work through it and be stronger in the end. That was the vow you took, afterall.

When something as life-changing as Alzheimer's would afflict either myself or my spouse, I wouldn't expect the marriage vows to hold. It's not about just the sex in such a case.

So when you said "for better or for worse, in SICKNESS and in health" you were really just kidding?

 

[Paulie]

It's amazing to me how easily a liberal can just dismiss something like marriage as ultimately being nothing more than a novelty.

The justification is great, too. "it's merely a legal contract".

If you only got married for legal reasons than you deserve to fail.

 

[PoliticalChic]

If cheating would be ok with you, that's not a bad thing, if you're still maintaining your vows to be together until death.

Marriage doesn't have to be synonymous with sex. If you'd be ok with your husband getting laid somewhere else because you're incapacitated by a disease, then so be it. If you maintain your marriage until death, you completed your agreement.

If sex makes or breaks a marriage, you better have already figured that part out before diving in. And you also ought to realize it's not always going to be the same as it was the first earth-shattering time. That's the for better or for worse part. When the marriage gets bad, you do what you have to do to work through it and be stronger in the end. That was the vow you took, afterall.

When something as life-changing as Alzheimer's would afflict either myself or my spouse, I wouldn't expect the marriage vows to hold. It's not about just the sex in such a case.

So when you said "for better or for worse, in SICKNESS and in health" you were really just kidding?

I think your question says more about you than it says about me.

 

[Care4all]

altzheimers is not a good example....unless it is early onset altzeimers because this disease usually comes on in the Senior years and i believe the sexual desires subside by then.....the desire for intimacy may still be there, but not necessarily the sex drive brought on by needing to reproduce, that is there in the subconscious, especially if the couple is around the same age...Reagan got his disease around 75 years old.