Would You Cheat on a Spouse?

[Dis]

I'm not debating legality, just morality.

A vow to stay together until death is a pretty serious vow. You ought not make that kind of committment unless you're willing to honor it. A mistake along the way of cheating isn't the worst thing in the world if you're able to reconcile and maintain the vow. That's the "for better or for worse" part.

I'm not religious, but it seems like a slap in the face to "god" to have one of his representatives take time out of their otherwise busy day to come and administer lifelong vows to a couple that ultimately calls it quits because they're either bored, or all the sudden not in love anymore, or what have you.

Don't take it personally. It's just an opinion, that's all.

People marry for different reasons. I think divorce as a 'slap in the face to god' is a slap in the face to those who legally marry by a justice of the peace.

Not everyone marries with religious ritualism.

Do you take a vow at the justice of the peace? is there anything that is required to recite?

Yep. Typical marriage vows (or those of your choosing), same type of thing - just not done in a church. They even use the word "God". They'll just marry you anywhere you want to get married. I didn't get married in a church. I got marriied in the Mitchell Park Domes. Can't have a preacher for that.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Nothing to recite. You sign the paperwork. That's it.

And what is the paperwork for? What is the contract agreement the both are signing?

if there is no agreement what is the marriage for....what do you sign on to?

You sign on to the legal status of being married.

 

[Dis]

Nothing to recite. You sign the paperwork. That's it.

You're wrong.

If you prefer a traditional type ceremony, they will perform it, and you will recite everything as if you were standing in a church.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Nothing to recite. You sign the paperwork. That's it.

And what is the paperwork for? What is the contract agreement the both are signing?

if there is no agreement what is the marriage for....what do you sign on to?

You assume that without ceremony in a church there are no agreements in the marriage? Take a look at your marriage license. What does it say?

 

[Anguille]

Nothing to recite. You sign the paperwork. That's it.

And what is the paperwork for? What is the contract agreement the both are signing?

if there is no agreement what is the marriage for....what do you sign on to?

Pre nups are a separate thing. You agree verbally to honor the vows you asked the JP to recite, if any. I think I remember my sister and bro-in-law only vowed to love each other and be husband and wife to each other. Nothing complicated, nothing religious. Their JP was a bit absent minded and presented them after to the guests as Mr and Mrs His Last Name which annoyed my sister as she was not changing her name.
You then sign a marriage license same as the one that is issued at City Hall.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Anyone can pick up a minister license and sign your marriage documents. That and another witness and that's it. You're married.

 

[Care4all]

Nothing to recite. You sign the paperwork. That's it.

And what is the paperwork for? What is the contract agreement the both are signing?

if there is no agreement what is the marriage for....what do you sign on to?

You assume that without ceremony in a church there are no agreements in the marriage? Take a look at your marriage license. What does it say?

fyi there is no malice intent in what i am asking you!

I don't know what my marriage license says?hahahahaha

that's why i was asking you!

What is the agreement, the legal agreement to marriage?

I know what my religious vows were....no problem there.....it's the rest of the gobbledygook that i am clueless on....?

 

[Sky Dancer]

If a spouse is ill and dying, it wouldn't be so surprising to see the husband or wife of the terminally ill or dying spouse seek comfort. Would you condemn that individual?

Yep. In a heartbeat. Again, nothing to do with the parameters of the discussion, but under this particular circumstance, I can easily see condemning that person's behavior.

Congrats. You win the award for being the most judgmental individual I've ever met. Have a heart.

 

[Care4all]

North Carolina History Project : Marriage, History of

ok, found some history on it...

it is primarily for inheritance reasons....rightful heirs to an estate....when someone dies....

 

[Sky Dancer]

North Carolina History Project : Marriage, History of

ok, found some history on it...

it is primarily for inheritance reasons....rightful heirs to an estate....when someone dies....

See, marriage is about property rights, inheritance and taxes. It's a way to get health insurance too.

 

[Dis]

If a spouse is ill and dying, it wouldn't be so surprising to see the husband or wife of the terminally ill or dying spouse seek comfort. Would you condemn that individual?

Yep. In a heartbeat. Again, nothing to do with the parameters of the discussion, but under this particular circumstance, I can easily see condemning that person's behavior.

Congrats. You win the award for being the most judgmental individual I've ever met. Have a heart.

And you might just be the most callous person I've ever run across.. Your spouse is laying there dying, and you're more concerned with running off and getting laid because you need "comfort"?

Pathetic.

 

[Sky Dancer]

Yep. In a heartbeat. Again, nothing to do with the parameters of the discussion, but under this particular circumstance, I can easily see condemning that person's behavior.

Congrats. You win the award for being the most judgmental individual I've ever met. Have a heart.

And you might just be the most callous person I've ever run across.. Your spouse is laying there dying, and you're more concerned with running off and getting laid because you need "comfort"?

Pathetic.

Nope. I've never done that. I wouldn't condemn someone else who did. Have you ever seen someone die a slow death of dementia? What about ALS or MS?

You don't know me. Not a bit.

 

[jillian]

Nope. I've never done that. I just wouldn't condemn someone else who did. Have you ever seen someone die a slow death of dementia?

Talk about judgmental, eh? It's easy for holier than thou types to sentence other people to a life of no sex or intimacy and just being a caretaker. I think some people want to be martyrs so they like seeing other people as miserable as possible. Personally, I think people do what they can to get by in situations like that.

 

[Sky Dancer]

When your heart is breaking, and you feel like dying yourself as you watch your loved one wither away, some people reach out to others in order to find the strength to carry on.

I would not condemn a man or woman who 'cheated' on a spouse who had ALS, MS or dementia. Try imagining yourself in their shoes as the full time caregiver before you paint a letter A on their forehead and punish them.

 

[Care4all]

North Carolina History Project : Marriage, History of

ok, found some history on it...

it is primarily for inheritance reasons....rightful heirs to an estate....when someone dies....

See, marriage is about property rights, inheritance and taxes. It's a way to get health insurance too.

yeah, i know that about health insurance....

The Gay marriage law in massachusetts ended up hurting alot of gays and heteros that had partners living with them, but just did not want to get married.

After gay marriage passed, the employers who used to offer health care insurance for your "partner" that lived with you, cut that out and only offered insurance coverage for you AND YOUR PARTNER, if you were married.

Many gay couples that were getting insurance for their partners that did not want to get married, lost their health insurance.

May hetero couples that got their partner's insurance through their employer, lost that insurance as well....

they have to be married now, in order to get it....is what an article i was reading last year had said....

it was a minor, unforeseen backlash to the new Gay marriage law, is what the article was saying...

 

[jillian]

North Carolina History Project : Marriage, History of

ok, found some history on it...

it is primarily for inheritance reasons....rightful heirs to an estate....when someone dies....

See, marriage is about property rights, inheritance and taxes. It's a way to get health insurance too.

yeah, i know that about health insurance....

The Gay marriage law in massachusetts ended up hurting alot of gays and heteros that had partners living with them, but just did not want to get married.

After gay marriage passed, the employers who used to offer health care insurance for your "partner" that lived with you, cut that out and only offered insurance coverage for you AND YOUR PARTNER, if you were married.

Many gay couples that were getting insurance for their partners that did not want to get married, lost their health insurance.

May hetero couples that got their partner's insurance through their employer, lost that insurance as well....

they have to be married now, in order to get it....is what an article i was reading last year had said....

it was a minor, unforeseen backlash to the new Gay marriage law, is what the article was saying...

perhaps. but i'm ok with that one. a heterosexual couple wouldn't get benefits if they weren't married either.

it was offered to "partners" because there was no other means of covering a family unit. but if they weren't enough of a family unit to get married when they could, then I'm ok with them losing coverage.

equality is what it is... for good and bad.

 

[Dis]

When your heart is breaking, and you feel like dying yourself as you watch your loved one wither away, some people reach out to others in order to find the strength to carry on.

I would not condemn a man or woman who 'cheated' on a spouse who had ALS, MS or dementia. Try imagining yourself in their shoes as the full time caregiver before you paint a letter A on their forehead and punish them.

You can't find comfort in a friend? You can only find it in sex with someone other than the person you made the vows "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, in good times, and in bad" with?

LMAO.

 

[Care4all]

yes, it is fair now jillian....

But there are still an awful lot of gay couples and hetero couples that relied on this health care coverage...

And in Massachusetts, it was fair, before Gay marriage as well, because health care coverage was offered to any partner living with you....gay or hetero. Massachusetts has always been pretty good about that...

I don't know why it had to change?

 

[jillian]

You can't find comfort in a friend? You can only find it in sex with someone other than the person you made the vows "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, in good times, and in bad" with?

LMAO.

yeah, you shouldn't have sex for 10 to 15 years of your life.

 

[Shogun]