Feeling a bit like how Manonthestreet is feeling. Been that way awhile now but it all came to a head yesterday. I miss my dogs. I miss my life and what it used to be. I miss my stuff I had to sell. I miss it all. Who woulda thunk that could happen to me, who had everything planned and set for old age nice and comfy? I thought wrong thinking I was set and all would be well. And it still hasn't ended, nor will end anytime soon I guess. So..I stay either grumpy or numb or both. But at least I lanced some of the depression yesterday in the fur of housemates golden retriever, Casey. He was very obliging getting all wet from tears.
One of our nearby towns has a registered homeopathic expert (I don't know what they're called, but he's good) and advised me to take an amino acid called tryptophan after my husband passed and I was feeling a little low. I really don't know much, except that at least I could get up and do things. Since it's a supplement, I take it with my vitamins, and it's just nice, makes your outlook a little more settled. It's not a cure for mourning or unhappiness, but somehow, when I started taking it, my mind would select the happy times and memories, not doubts or disappointments. I have no idea, Gracie, but sometimes if I go for 3 or 4 days, I'm not immune to feeling down, so I restart, and within a couple of hours, I'm back in the world of the busy living, even if it's only sticking with a quilt till it's done, and actually enjoying being by myself rather than wishing for company too much. I'm just sharing, and hoping you find a way to look on the sunny side and realize, that although I missed 4 years being here, I remember you being one of the sunniest posters here most of the time, but I didn't know if you appreciated how the boards are a little brighter when you're around, although I could surely say the same about Foxy. You make being here a little more fun, that's all, and I'd like to see you appreciating yourself for knowing that.