Singles bar

[Statistikhengst]

must be current single or anytime in life single?

Either way. Doesn't matter. If married people have views on single life I would love to hear them.

Thanks, John. I only have one view of single folks--and it's not exactly "never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.
The trouble with that thesis is, I feel straying into someone else's head is like an invasion of privacy. So I choose the simpler "what you see is what you get" approach to others' doings, and let it go at that.

I have a greater respect for the patrons of your bar, after reading the entire thread, though. Kudos for making it through the bad times of life and learning coping mechanisms to deal with the errors of others.

And Kudos to you, John, for giving singles a place to help each other out.

Yepp, this is a cool thread.

 

[Katzndogz]

Married people tend to ignore me mostly because married people tend to ignore single people preferring the company of fellow families.

It's the single people! Especially single men my age who seem to feel I am duty bound to enter into some kind of relationship with them. Everyone is looking to hook up, the older a person is, the more desperate they are assumed to be. As a consequence, I am very hesitant to offer even the basics of common courtesy lest it be seen as an invitation.

 

[Montrovant]

Married people tend to ignore me mostly because married people tend to ignore single people preferring the company of fellow families.

It's the single people! Especially single men my age who seem to feel I am duty bound to enter into some kind of relationship with them. Everyone is looking to hook up, the older a person is, the more desperate they are assumed to be. As a consequence, I am very hesitant to offer even the basics of common courtesy lest it be seen as an invitation.

There is a great way to avoid that!

Have no social life. It works for me! No one thinks I'm trying to hook up because there's no one to think that.

 

[Katzndogz]

Married people tend to ignore me mostly because married people tend to ignore single people preferring the company of fellow families.

It's the single people! Especially single men my age who seem to feel I am duty bound to enter into some kind of relationship with them. Everyone is looking to hook up, the older a person is, the more desperate they are assumed to be. As a consequence, I am very hesitant to offer even the basics of common courtesy lest it be seen as an invitation.

There is a great way to avoid that!

Have no social life. It works for me! No one thinks I'm trying to hook up because there's no one to think that.

That's quite true. It is quite possible to have a very active social life without having a social life that involves one on one interaction.

 

[Ava]

Rum runner coming up.
I hope everybody is all liquored up now and feeling friendly. Where are the guys hiding? Maybe I should lower the prices?
Anyway, before this thread dies a horrible and painful death I'm going to get things started.
Do you like or dislike being single?
I personally love being single. I don't say this in a sad I'm-pretending-to-be-happy sort of way. I've never actually been married but I did live with a woman for about five years. What I missed most during those years was my quiet time. Ya know, those times when you can talk back to the t.v. while wearing your boxer shorts and adorning pizza stains on your naked chest like a tribal warrior. Ok, I might be exaggerating. Never say never though. I like the idea behind marriage but I also like the idea of pure unadulterated freedom. I've never equated loneliness with being alone. I've alway felt loneliest when I was with other people so the idea of being married to avoid loneliness never seemed applicable. What are your guys thoughts on the subject?

Good morning, and thank you, John, for opening a Singles Bar. I'd love to have a Bloody Mary, please, very spicy, as I am.

I enjoyed reading your post, above mine, and am willing to share a bit of myself. I am a very private person, and never, ever lonely, living alone. Of course I do have a "friends with benefit" man in my life and one reason I like him, is because he lives in another town and can't subconsciously feel he can make a phone call and hop right over. Not that I would let him if he did, but this way I don't have to deny him in a way that would offend. I don't want someone to need me. When that has happened, I felt smothered. I need to feel completely free, and independent, and that keeps me happy and strong.

I've never felt alone, living alone. The loneliest times I have ever experienced, were those times I have been married. And I had no control over it. Being unmarried, I do. I design my life and it is as close to perfect, for me, as anything could get.

Solitude is misunderstood. Most people are taught to avoid it, to be ashamed of it, to regret it. With the correct view, however, time spent alone becomes the springboard for all meaningful time spent with others. It is in solitude that the foundation for all goodness in one's life is built, or so I experience.

What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.----Ellen Burstyn


May I have another Bloody Mary, JohnL.Burke? My limit is two, especially if I am driving.

 

[Mad_Cabbie]

If I have to put up with being marginalized, verbally abused and taken for granted, I'd rather just be alone.

It wasn't always that way, though ... I used to actually give a damn.



[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRdQggl2MbM]Are You Lonesome Tonight - Elvis Presley (Lyrics on Screen) - YouTube[/ame]

I'll take a bottle of VO - here's a fifty - keep it.

 

[Katzndogz]

While not marginalized my poodle is quite capable of being verbally abusive and takes me for granted all the time.

 

[Statistikhengst]

While not marginalized my poodle is quite capable of being verbally abusive and takes me for granted all the time.

Are you "woof-beaten"???

 

[Gracie]

Being a recluse helps too, katz and montrovant. I don't go anywhere. I usually don't see anyone. Only time I "go out" is to the the doc or pick up percriptions and the occassional stop at a thrift store.
My "social" life is right here. On the net. My "museum of fine art" where there is no talking is pinterest where I can wander the hallways and look at pics, art, quotes, funnies, etc. My "talking and chatting" is here at USMB.

What more could I ask for?

 

[Katzndogz]

While not marginalized my poodle is quite capable of being verbally abusive and takes me for granted all the time.

Are you "woof-beaten"???

Yes.

The other day I was working all day, mostly on the phone. She grabbed that phone out of my hand and threw it across the room. Then gave me the stiff back. She sits with her back to me, nose in the air, back stiff and straight. That's a signal that I better find out what she wants and do it, post haste.

 

[Gracie]

I would love to see a pic of that.

 

[Katzndogz]

Being a recluse helps too, katz and montrovant. I don't go anywhere. I usually don't see anyone. Only time I "go out" is to the the doc or pick up percriptions and the occassional stop at a thrift store.
My "social" life is right here. On the net. My "museum of fine art" where there is no talking is pinterest where I can wander the hallways and look at pics, art, quotes, funnies, etc. My "talking and chatting" is here at USMB.

What more could I ask for?

Sometimes a week or two will go by and I won't leave the house at all. I work from home so unless I take the dog for a walk, I don't even bother going out. I try to get to the gym once in a while. Like yourself, I communicate with a lot of people, all over the world, on line, and never experience being lonely.

 

[Gracie]

Speaking of....I need to take Karma for a walk next door. It is cold out there and I don't want to, but...I slept all day yesterday and was so fatigued....I didn't take her. Guess I will now while I can.

 

[Katzndogz]

Speaking of....I need to take Karma for a walk next door. It is cold out there and I don't want to, but...I slept all day yesterday and was so fatigued....I didn't take her. Guess I will now while I can.

Karma must not be a nag. I get nagged.

 

[Gracie]

Karma is such a sweetheart. But she would have nagged me if Gracie were still here. She changed when Gracie died. Now she is just this mellow easy going dog and I am thankful for it. Just got back...she had a nice run, then was ready to come home and now she is happily chewing on a stuffed toy.

 

[Gracie]

Oh. Wait. Karma DOES nag. She sits smack in front of me and stares at me. If I don't respond, she paws me and gets closer, stares some more.
Dinner time. She knows the time, when sometimes I get sidetracked.

 

[Katzndogz]

I'll take a pic next time she gets pissed off at me.

I should explain. Arwen does not bark like a dog. She vocalizes. Some dogs vocalize a little, some a lot. It sounds more like "Yowl, row, ruf, rowl, woo woo, wouwl" When she was a puppy, my husband used to say "no bark" to stop her from barking. I told him that she had to communicate some way so he started saying "no bark only woo woo". Now all she does is vocalize, unless she sees a dog or something surprises her she won't bark.

When I brought her here from Nevada the first time, she met my boss and launched into vocalizing that lasted for 20 minutes. He asked what was wrong with her. I told him that she was complaining about the drive. It was too hot, she doesn't like my driving, the seat was uncomfortable. Not enough potty breaks. Water wasn't cold. She had a lot of complaints. If you try to ignore her when she is speaking, she will pat your hand with her paw "Aren't you paying attention? Pay attention. I'm speaking to you." She can carry on an entire conversation with her vocalizing if you answer her back.

 

[Katzndogz]

Arwen changed when her cat died. That cat was already old when Arwen was born. He was with her, her entire life. They played pranks on one another all the time. When Bubba died, Arwen took it very hard, worse than when my husband died. Her world literally came to an end. She was destroyed by grief. She got very very sick and I had to take her to the vet. I thought about getting her another cat, but really, no one could replace the cat she was born with. They were inseparable, when they weren't fighting. I have pictures of them cuddled up together asleep,

 

[Derideo_Te]

Not having enough experience of the single life I won't comment since I was relatively fortunate enough to meet my best friend at the tender age of 22. We started living together and then her aunt managed to figure out a way to get us married 2 years later. Neither of us considered marriage to be important but since we were building a house together it simplified the paperwork. Things just drifted along without any plans for kids. We had a great social life with a good mix of both single and married friends and still do to this day.

Then after about 10 years we had a daughter and she is a joy but we felt no need for another and unlike the stories she isn't spoiled or lonely. Since we had no expectations of what marriage was supposed to be there were no disappointments. Yes, we had our fights from time to time but we had rules and name calling and lying were never allowed. This basic honesty between ourselves works. Both of our families have issues but we decided what we wanted and stuck to that and it has worked out. We give each other space and we enjoy being with each other. I spend a lot of time in my head but that is just who I am. It isn't lonely and it isn't arduous, it just is.

I could probably survive on my own but it would seem pointless without my best friend besides me. I don't think that what I have fits the traditional definition of marriage and I don't expect others to be married either. If you are single and happy then more power to you. To me the basis of a lasting relationship is friendship and trust. If you have those the actual marriage certificate and the physical living arrangement is secondary.

So that was my $0.02 worth and I didn't have a drink because I have work tomorrow.

Cheers!

 

[dreolin]

Married people tend to ignore me mostly because married people tend to ignore single people preferring the company of fellow families.

It's the single people! Especially single men my age who seem to feel I am duty bound to enter into some kind of relationship with them. Everyone is looking to hook up, the older a person is, the more desperate they are assumed to be. As a consequence, I am very hesitant to offer even the basics of common courtesy lest it be seen as an invitation.

Not all men are like that, ya know.

I never ever tried to trick a woman into a relationship or bed or anything.

Bumbling honesty always worked well with me. that and the fact that I always though of women as people.

And i always got my own glass of water if I was thirsty.