Singles bar

[dreolin]

I'll take a pic next time she gets pissed off at me.

I should explain. Arwen does not bark like a dog. She vocalizes. Some dogs vocalize a little, some a lot. It sounds more like "Yowl, row, ruf, rowl, woo woo, wouwl" When she was a puppy, my husband used to say "no bark" to stop her from barking. I told him that she had to communicate some way so he started saying "no bark only woo woo". Now all she does is vocalize, unless she sees a dog or something surprises her she won't bark.

When I brought her here from Nevada the first time, she met my boss and launched into vocalizing that lasted for 20 minutes. He asked what was wrong with her. I told him that she was complaining about the drive. It was too hot, she doesn't like my driving, the seat was uncomfortable. Not enough potty breaks. Water wasn't cold. She had a lot of complaints. If you try to ignore her when she is speaking, she will pat your hand with her paw "Aren't you paying attention? Pay attention. I'm speaking to you." She can carry on an entire conversation with her vocalizing if you answer her back.

Y'all are makin' me miss my dog. He was my best friend, a big ol' guy but the most gentle dog around kids you could imagine. When he died, I knew i could never replace him...so I didn't.

He was a mix between a mastiff and a bloodhound and I hand picked him from the pound to even shed in the right color. He never barked really. We lived on a rural route dead end so no one came by except when the fence broke and the cattle, just me and my son and my dog and sometimes a visitor. Once my son was playing on the bed with him and jumping and a kids elbow caught him in the ribs and he just gave a kittle yelp, and did the quick turn to nip but caught himself halfway and licked my son on the face. I guess love trumped instinct.

His name was Shunka Witko because we lived out in the wild, wild west but we just called him Shunk. He was a funny dog and he musta looked good too because I overheard one teenage boy say to another once as we passed them on a walk "Isn't that dog pretty" and the other one said"Yeah. He really is".

He was smart too...other than a few roll-arounds in the fish fertilizer. LOL.

 

[Ava]

Not having enough experience of the single life I won't comment since I was relatively fortunate enough to meet my best friend at the tender age of 22. We started living together and then her aunt managed to figure out a way to get us married 2 years later. Neither of us considered marriage to be important but since we were building a house together it simplified the paperwork. Things just drifted along without any plans for kids. We had a great social life with a good mix of both single and married friends and still do to this day.

Then after about 10 years we had a daughter and she is a joy but we felt no need for another and unlike the stories she isn't spoiled or lonely. Since we had no expectations of what marriage was supposed to be there were no disappointments. Yes, we had our fights from time to time but we had rules and name calling and lying were never allowed. This basic honesty between ourselves works. Both of our families have issues but we decided what we wanted and stuck to that and it has worked out. We give each other space and we enjoy being with each other. I spend a lot of time in my head but that is just who I am. It isn't lonely and it isn't arduous, it just is.

I could probably survive on my own but it would seem pointless without my best friend besides me. I don't think that what I have fits the traditional definition of marriage and I don't expect others to be married either. If you are single and happy then more power to you. To me the basis of a lasting relationship is friendship and trust. If you have those the actual marriage certificate and the physical living arrangement is secondary.

So that was my $0.02 worth and I didn't have a drink because I have work tomorrow.

Cheers!

After reading many of your posts, over the weeks, @ Derideo_Te, it is easy to feel your contentment with your life. You sound like a wonderful man and I know you would make a fine partner, in any relationship in which you felt that friendship and trust, you mentioned, above. I am happy for you, and others, that have found that contentment.

I find contentment living alone, and am joined by many spurts of happiness at home and at work. I like coming home to my cat. I don't like coming home to a hubby who wants to know where I have been or what took me so long. I won't explain or defend myself ( nor will I ask the same questions of him ) and the absence of those irritants are my two favorite reasons to enjoy my well-balanced life.

I've never been easy for the kind of men with whom I am mutually attracted, to get along with. I won't change who I am, or be controlled. They knew when we married, of my independent nature, but they wanted to own it. Even Dad told me one time of the mistake he had made with me all my life. He said he had tried to break my spirit, instead of trying to channel it. I wondered why anyone would want to break my spirit. I loved it and I love it. It is who I am, and it doesn't suit well for the maturation needed,for people living and loving together, under the same roof.

The beauty of it all, is that I speak with a frame of reference, and know I am in a place that is better suited for me, than any other, for I have tried them all, and the men in my life have been good men. But...a rolling stone gathers no moss, and I want to feel free and unattached to those ties that bind.

 

[Derideo_Te]

Not having enough experience of the single life I won't comment since I was relatively fortunate enough to meet my best friend at the tender age of 22. We started living together and then her aunt managed to figure out a way to get us married 2 years later. Neither of us considered marriage to be important but since we were building a house together it simplified the paperwork. Things just drifted along without any plans for kids. We had a great social life with a good mix of both single and married friends and still do to this day.

Then after about 10 years we had a daughter and she is a joy but we felt no need for another and unlike the stories she isn't spoiled or lonely. Since we had no expectations of what marriage was supposed to be there were no disappointments. Yes, we had our fights from time to time but we had rules and name calling and lying were never allowed. This basic honesty between ourselves works. Both of our families have issues but we decided what we wanted and stuck to that and it has worked out. We give each other space and we enjoy being with each other. I spend a lot of time in my head but that is just who I am. It isn't lonely and it isn't arduous, it just is.

I could probably survive on my own but it would seem pointless without my best friend besides me. I don't think that what I have fits the traditional definition of marriage and I don't expect others to be married either. If you are single and happy then more power to you. To me the basis of a lasting relationship is friendship and trust. If you have those the actual marriage certificate and the physical living arrangement is secondary.

So that was my $0.02 worth and I didn't have a drink because I have work tomorrow.

Cheers!

After reading many of your posts, over the weeks, @ Derideo_Te, it is easy to feel your contentment with your life. You sound like a wonderful man and I know you would make a fine partner, in any relationship in which you felt that friendship and trust, you mentioned, above. I am happy for you, and others, that have found that contentment.

I find contentment living alone, and am joined by many spurts of happiness at home and at work. I like coming home to my cat. I don't like coming home to a hubby who wants to know where I have been or what took me so long. I won't explain or defend myself ( nor will I ask the same questions of him ) and the absence of those irritants are my two favorite reasons to enjoy my well-balanced life.

I've never been easy for the kind of men with whom I am mutually attracted, to get along with. I won't change who I am, or be controlled. They knew when we married, of my independent nature, but they wanted to own it. Even Dad told me one time of the mistake he had made with me all my life. He said he had tried to break my spirit, instead of trying to channel it. I wondered why anyone would want to break my spirit. I loved it and I love it. It is who I am, and it doesn't suit well for the maturation needed,for people living and loving together, under the same roof.

The beauty of it all, is that I speak with a frame of reference, and know I am in a place that is better suited for me, than any other, for I have tried them all, and the men in my life have been good men. But...a rolling stone gathers no moss, and I want to feel free and unattached to those ties that bind.

Thank you for the kind words, [MENTION=22590]AquaAthena[/MENTION]. From what you said it sounds as though those who sought to "own" and/or "break" your spirit didn't trust you. For me that was something that never even entered my head. I recall a conversation with my spouse very early in our relationship where there was a disagreement with my sister. At the time I believed them to be very close to the point of being BFF's. But instead of taking my sister's side my spouse backed me up. I think that was when I first became aware of the depth of loyalty and trust that was the basis of our relationship. We became a team and compensated for each other's weaknesses while leveraging our strengths.

You have the strength of character to be your own person and that is admirable. Those who couldn't give you the space you needed were doing so out of their own insecurities in my opinion. Perhaps the adage about giving someone their freedom and if they return it is because of true love is the most appropriate way to view this. I also believe that we must allow each other the freedom to grow because that is where happiness lies. I don't expect my spouse to watch F1 with me and she doesn't expect me watch Dancing with the Stars but together we watch Alpha House.

 

[High_Gravity]

Well hello there, whats on tap today?

 

[High_Gravity]

John...if you are looking for a singles place to meet gals you think might suit your theme...try plentyoffish? I used to be there but left long ago. I was single then, too. But I remarried hubby so....I deleted my membership.Lots of females over there you can flirt with, in your age range. Don't leave here. Just go have fun once in awhile over there..then bring them back HERE, lol.

I've used POF for 3 one night stands, thats about it. Peoples expectations are waaaay too much on that site imo.

 

[High_Gravity]

Not confirmed anything. Never say never. I was married 12 years ago. Marriage lasted for almost 2 whole years. Too young and for the wrong reasons. Uh...now I forget all the questions I was supposed to answer...be right back to edit.

ok..back..only one question.

Do you like or dislike being single? No, I dont dislike it, but at times I dont like it either. I have a teenager that keeps me busy but would be nice to find a guy I can stand longer than 3 dates. As I am getting older I am finding that more difficult though. I know some of it is me, being set in my ways (i.e. stubborn) but the other half of it is just lack of quality options. Would rather be single than miserable...as they say.

I have been single for a year now, I broke up with my ex last September we were together for 5 years, I was 25 when I met her. I can relate to alot of what you said, the older we get though the harder it is to actually meet someone, the dates I have been on since I have been single have been terrible. Its much easier when your young and everyones slate is clean.

 

[High_Gravity]

Well, I am married,but it is in name only. I love him. But not in that way. Not like I used to. His ex best friends was his lover and companion for many years and while that affair was going on, the love I had for him died. Slowly and painfully too. But...I got over it. And he got over his affair. We divorced, but never really moved out. Then we got remarried two years ago because now that we are divorced and his affair is dead, we found we were best friends and should have been best friends from the get go instead of husband and wife.

And that nasty skank he loved more than me? It has been gone about 8 years now. It's name? Well, it had two. Jim Beam and Vodka.

So..in short...I am married. But I am single as well. I will never leave him. He will never leave me. Kinda like Will and Grace never really left each other although they did live separate lives.

My ex wanted me to still live with her last year after we broke but as room mates, sleeping in separate rooms. That insane idea lasted 2 days. Your much stronger than me.

 

[JohnL.Burke]

I wasn't expecting the Singles Bar to be so busy so I have had to hire more waiters and waitresses (to hell with those silly child labor laws). Sorry for the delay but everybody's drinks are on the way. Along with free nachos and Singles Bar t-shirts!
What I have learned most from this thread is that everybody has shaped their own lives to fit what's best for them. People have molded their lives to conform to their needs and wants. It takes a certain amount of strength, wisdom, (and maybe a little luck?) to maximize ones joy and security with the hand one is dealt with.
Does anybody have any thoughts on the Christmas season? I know Christmas can be hard for certain people.
I used to despise Christmas. I found Christmas depressing and bleak. For some reason I would be happy being single except during Christmas. I was younger then though and perhaps pop culture played a part in my depression. I was expected to be with family but I was a long way from home. Once Christmas was over I was back to my jovial cynical reprobate self. I was me!
Now days though I look at Christmas as just another day. No more Christmas blues. I still hate Christmas music though. I would seriously like to kick the little drummer boy's butt.... pa rum pum pum pum all the way down the street.
Any other thoughts on Christmas? Anyone?

 

[Derideo_Te]

I wasn't expecting the Singles Bar to be so busy so I have had to hire more waiters and waitresses (to hell with those silly child labor laws). Sorry for the delay but everybody's drinks are on the way. Along with free nachos and Singles Bar t-shirts!
What I have learned most from this thread is that everybody has shaped their own lives to fit what's best for them. People have molded their lives to conform to their needs and wants. It takes a certain amount of strength, wisdom, (and maybe a little luck?) to maximize ones joy and security with the hand one is dealt with.
Does anybody have any thoughts on the Christmas season? I know Christmas can be hard for certain people.
I used to despise Christmas. I found Christmas depressing and bleak. For some reason I would be happy being single except during Christmas. I was younger then though and perhaps pop culture played a part in my depression. I was expected to be with family but I was a long way from home. Once Christmas was over I was back to my jovial cynical reprobate self. I was me!
Now days though I look at Christmas as just another day. No more Christmas blues. I still hate Christmas music though. I would seriously like to kick the little drummer boy's butt.... pa rum pum pum pum all the way down the street.
Any other thoughts on Christmas? Anyone?

Seems like there was always someone who was single on Christmas Eve who ended up joining in the fun but that might be because it was also our wedding anniversary. We just used to throw a party and everyone was welcome. Haven't had one for the past few years but that was largely because one or the other of us was sick and we didn't want to spread any germs around.

 

[Ava]

I wasn't expecting the Singles Bar to be so busy so I have had to hire more waiters and waitresses (to hell with those silly child labor laws). Sorry for the delay but everybody's drinks are on the way. Along with free nachos and Singles Bar t-shirts!
What I have learned most from this thread is that everybody has shaped their own lives to fit what's best for them. People have molded their lives to conform to their needs and wants. It takes a certain amount of strength, wisdom, (and maybe a little luck?) to maximize ones joy and security with the hand one is dealt with.
Does anybody have any thoughts on the Christmas season? I know Christmas can be hard for certain people.
I used to despise Christmas. I found Christmas depressing and bleak. For some reason I would be happy being single except during Christmas. I was younger then though and perhaps pop culture played a part in my depression. I was expected to be with family but I was a long way from home. Once Christmas was over I was back to my jovial cynical reprobate self. I was me!
Now days though I look at Christmas as just another day. No more Christmas blues. I still hate Christmas music though. I would seriously like to kick the little drummer boy's butt.... pa rum pum pum pum all the way down the street.
Any other thoughts on Christmas? Anyone?

Hi John, how good to see you. I enjoyed your post.

My family is far away, too, and I like that. We do phone calls, and email and that is enough for me. I have lived a life of adventure and that takes one away from that family need for any holidays, in my case. It breaks the habit.

My family likes to celebrate in a way I don't. Things come out that shouldn't. A family is as sick as their secrets, and my family has many and no one dares speak of them so when I am around with all my honest and forthright instincts about everything, because I have no shame and feel they haven't either, but they do, the family affair can become something all will regret and I don't take chances as I live with no regrets and am not ready to start now. I keep my heart filled with love and while it is malleable I protect it so it won't break. I keep my mind filled with gratitude and my spirit, high. I am never alone when I with myself, only.

I love the The Little Drummer Boy and all other Christmas carols/music. I love the season and I love when it is over. I like to be with a friend or two, during the season----those people I can be open and honest with and no expectations.

 

[dreolin]

I wasn't expecting the Singles Bar to be so busy so I have had to hire more waiters and waitresses (to hell with those silly child labor laws). Sorry for the delay but everybody's drinks are on the way. Along with free nachos and Singles Bar t-shirts!
What I have learned most from this thread is that everybody has shaped their own lives to fit what's best for them. People have molded their lives to conform to their needs and wants. It takes a certain amount of strength, wisdom, (and maybe a little luck?) to maximize ones joy and security with the hand one is dealt with.
Does anybody have any thoughts on the Christmas season? I know Christmas can be hard for certain people.
I used to despise Christmas. I found Christmas depressing and bleak. For some reason I would be happy being single except during Christmas. I was younger then though and perhaps pop culture played a part in my depression. I was expected to be with family but I was a long way from home. Once Christmas was over I was back to my jovial cynical reprobate self. I was me!
Now days though I look at Christmas as just another day. No more Christmas blues. I still hate Christmas music though. I would seriously like to kick the little drummer boy's butt.... pa rum pum pum pum all the way down the street.
Any other thoughts on Christmas? Anyone?

I prefer minstral boys to drummer boys...

They seems more determined...

And I like dancing with the devils on Samhain...

And I like to see the childers smile on Christmas...

And laugh on St. Stephen's day...

Cynics can be happy and celebrate too.

There are all kinds of joy.

Merry Christmas, John.

 

[BDBoop]

I prefer to see children on Christmas.

Am looking forward to seeing the grands at noon on Christmas Eve day.

 

[JohnL.Burke]

Happy humbug, dreolin.

 

[JohnL.Burke]

Am I the only person who thinks cash is a great Christmas gift?

 

[Gracie]

Cash is always a great gift.

I'm still in the bah humbug stage. Got a tree though. Got the standard gifts for everyone here.

I miss my garden. I miss being outside. And I will be glad when Dec 25th is over.

 

[Ava]

Am I the only person who thinks cash is a great Christmas gift?

No, I prefer to give cash as that is what those to whom I give love, want and need. This is about being unselfish. I wrap it beautifully, and send it off. The ones in my family that don't need anymore cash, I send a beautiful Christmas card and personalize it with a loving touch.

 

[Ava]

Am I the only person who thinks cash is a great Christmas gift?

And it is still considered, etiquette. [ the forms, manners, and ceremonies established by convention as acceptable or required in social relations, in a profession, or in official life. ]

 

[High_Gravity]

I have a female friend whos mostly been single her whole life, she was married for a year when she was in the Military but thats about it, no kids or anything. I like her and shes an awesome person but she looks, acts and behaves as if she is 20 years old and shes 36, she dates men in their 20s too and gets really upset because they won't commit, just want sex, cheat on her and play games. That is what alot of people in their 20's do men or women, I dated a 20 year old for a while too last year. Is it possible if a person is single for such a long time they get stuck in time and just behave as if their 21 forever?

 

[Derideo_Te]

I have a female friend whos mostly been single her whole life, she was married for a year when she was in the Military but thats about it, no kids or anything. I like her and shes an awesome person but she looks, acts and behaves as if she is 20 years old and shes 36, she dates men in their 20s too and gets really upset because they won't commit, just want sex, cheat on her and play games. That is what alot of people in their 20's do men or women, I dated a 20 year old for a while too last year. Is it possible if a person is single for such a long time they get stuck in time and just behave as if their 21 forever?

Yes, unfortunately.

Probably not irredeemable but she might need an intervention or two.

 

[High_Gravity]

I have a female friend whos mostly been single her whole life, she was married for a year when she was in the Military but thats about it, no kids or anything. I like her and shes an awesome person but she looks, acts and behaves as if she is 20 years old and shes 36, she dates men in their 20s too and gets really upset because they won't commit, just want sex, cheat on her and play games. That is what alot of people in their 20's do men or women, I dated a 20 year old for a while too last year. Is it possible if a person is single for such a long time they get stuck in time and just behave as if their 21 forever?

Yes, unfortunately.

Probably not irredeemable but she might need an intervention or two.

I actually liked the girl but I learned my lesson, I consoled her after her ex bf broke up with her last time, he was cheating on her. We were talking for a while and we even agreed to take a trip to New Orleans together, one day I call and a guy who sounds like Shaquille O'neal picks up. She had re-united with her ex and didn't tell me, she just lives for the drama. We are still friends but I am done talking to her in that way, she was sick this past weekend and her ex broke up with her again but I am not going near that with a 10 foot pole, shes a big girl. Good luck to her.