Sexual Affairs

[presonorek]

Why do people choose not to have affairs?

I am strongly considering it but it just seems so much like a bad idea. I will just continue being ignored by my wife and feeling pure misery all hours of my life. Eventually, I will die. Staying married and faithful until the end is definitely the best financial decision. Does anybody have any experience with this with the benefit of hindsight? Is it healthy to be in pure misery 100% of the time all day, all week, all month, all year, and for decades on end for the sake of saving your marriage is it better to find someone that thinks you are awesome and views you as a person?

Does anybody know what to do about a wife that doesn't even know that you exist? There are just so many issues to solve at once.

WARNING: I will ignore all cop-out answers. Don't cop out.

 

[Dekster]

1. Get a divorce

2. Otherwise, as long as your spouse is okay with you stepping out, who cares. If she isn't, see #1.

 

[WinterBorn]

You made a vow to be faithful. Either live up to that or divorce her.

 

[gipper]

Why do people choose not to have affairs?

I am strongly considering it but it just seems so much like a bad idea. I will just continue being ignored by my wife and feeling pure misery all hours of my life. Eventually, I will die. Staying married and faithful until the end is definitely the best financial decision. Does anybody have any experience with this with the benefit of hindsight? Is it healthy to be in pure misery 100% of the time all day, all week, all month, all year, and for decades on end for the sake of saving your marriage is it better to find someone that thinks you are awesome and views you as a person?

Does anybody know what to do about a wife that doesn't even know that you exist? There are just so many issues to solve at once.

WARNING: I will ignore all cop-out answers. Don't cop out.

Why did you marry her and why did she marry you? Why would a woman marry a man and then completely ignore him?

It doesn’t pass the smell test.

 

[sparky]

You made a vow to be faithful.

'to have and to hold' is part of that vow.........~S~

 

[JohnDB]

I refuse to have an affair because I love my wife. I don't feel the need to breed like an animal with other women.
My wife and I are unified in goals, wants and desires...we work together on everything.

However....I once was married to a woman who had less than positive thoughts about me. It was difficult to say the least. No respect or value for me whatsoever.

But an affair is a big red flag over your head. It says something about you that you will not like. It speaks about your lack of character regardless of what your current wife is denying you and encouraging you to seek for your needs elsewhere.

Then there's the children....your progeny. They become destroyed by an affair and divorce. The very pillars of their world view is forever changed by divorce. They believe that since mommy and daddy can stop loving each other maybe they will stop loving them too. And children do not possess the emotional skills to be able to process the difference.

However, take hope! One day she might decide she "deserves better than you" and sues for divorce. My ex wife did...she didn't get better she got worse...my life improved exponentially and continues to improve because of my new wife while my ex wife is getting worse and worse as time goes by.

Now life was financially difficult while paying child support. No doubt about that at all. ⅓ of your net income gets paid to her. (It never really gets used on the kids) Husbands usually don't get custody even if they remarry. And Child Support services are Nazis in every sense of the word and treat you as if you are a Jew. Just saying.

Eventually kids grow up and blame parents for every real and imagined mistake in parenting and leave home remembering the Netflix password as they go. Then child support drops off and the Netflix bill goes up. But it's usually a LOT cheaper.

 

[luiza]

I suggest you first find out the exact and full reasons for her attitude toward you -- however difficult and painful ---and try to work out who and what you really are as far as others are concerned .

If and when you achieve those very big tasks , I suggest you will be far better equipped to make next steps .And handle most of the inevitable changes and consequences.
imho

 

[Woodznutz]

Why do people choose not to have affairs?

I am strongly considering it but it just seems so much like a bad idea. I will just continue being ignored by my wife and feeling pure misery all hours of my life. Eventually, I will die. Staying married and faithful until the end is definitely the best financial decision. Does anybody have any experience with this with the benefit of hindsight? Is it healthy to be in pure misery 100% of the time all day, all week, all month, all year, and for decades on end for the sake of saving your marriage is it better to find someone that thinks you are awesome and views you as a person?

Does anybody know what to do about a wife that doesn't even know that you exist? There are just so many issues to solve at once.

WARNING: I will ignore all cop-out answers. Don't cop out.

What outside help have you had if any, and what was the result? Has she given you any reasons for her attitude towards you. Perhaps her friends and family can shed some light if she won't.

I had girlfriend once that played the 'ignore' game with me for no reason that I could determine. So, I started looking around for some else. This made her mad and she 'broke up; with me, not willing to believe anyone would ever break up with her. She then went and had 'revenge sex' with another guy, and got pregnant by him. She then came back to me, wanting to get back together (she didn't want to marry the guy). I turned her down and she did marry the guy. Her brother-in-law told me later that her marriage was a mess. All this because of her silly game.

 

[presonorek]

What outside help have you had if any, and what was the result? Has she given you any reasons for her attitude towards you. Perhaps her friends and family can shed some light if she won't.

I had girlfriend once that played the 'ignore' game with me for no reason that I could determine. So, I started looking around for some else. This made her mad and she 'broke up; with me, not willing to believe anyone would ever break up with her. She then went and had 'revenge sex' with another guy, and got pregnant by him. She then came back to me, wanting to get back together (she didn't want to marry the guy). I turned her down and she did marry the guy. Her brother-in-law told me later that her marriage was a mess. All this because of her silly game.

I don't think she has a reason for ignoring me. I think she is just fully entertained by all other aspects and other people in her life. How can I really compete with multi-billion dollar industries that create iPhones, television shows, app this, app that, fun person from work, fun person from church, fun person over here, fun person over there? She is totally happy with me as a reliable tool that requires no maintenance. If I am needed to help maintain some of the priorities in her life then I am an absolute amazing man. Otherwise I just set up on the shelf collecting dust. I doubt I am the only man that lives this way. I imagine a lot of women live this way too.

Not many people value relationships because they require too much effort. It doesn't take long to lose your interest and/or comfort around another human being. If I could just live in another house and she could come see me when she wanted to see me then I think it would be a more perfect union. I don't mind being ignored by people. There are 8 billion people on this planet and most of them ignore me. I just don't like being actively ignored. I don't like being required to be present in order to be ignored. She can ignore me from afar and it wouldn't hurt as much.

 

[Deplorable Yankee]

Why do people choose not to have affairs?

I am strongly considering it but it just seems so much like a bad idea. I will just continue being ignored by my wife and feeling pure misery all hours of my life. Eventually, I will die. Staying married and faithful until the end is definitely the best financial decision. Does anybody have any experience with this with the benefit of hindsight? Is it healthy to be in pure misery 100% of the time all day, all week, all month, all year, and for decades on end for the sake of saving your marriage is it better to find someone that thinks you are awesome and views you as a person?

Does anybody know what to do about a wife that doesn't even know that you exist? There are just so many issues to solve at once.

WARNING: I will ignore all cop-out answers. Don't cop out.

Ya have to find out what's the problem

Affairs that carry on ...you always get caught ...always

 

[presonorek]

Ya have to find out what's the problem

Affairs that carry on ...you always get caught ...always

Would getting caught get me acknowledged by my wife?

 

[presonorek]

Ya have to find out what's the problem

Affairs that carry on ...you always get caught ...always

I wouldn't be doing it for sexual fun. I just want the opportunity to be around someone who really likes me and enjoys my company. Getting caught doesn't sound that scary to me. Getting caught would be flattering. Then I could be proven wrong and find out that my wife did notice me after all.

 

[presonorek]

Why did you marry her and why did she marry you? Why would a woman marry a man and then completely ignore him?

It doesn’t pass the smell test.

I gotcha. I do have an alternate theory. The theory is that I am 100% totally insane. In that case, there is only one way to remedy that. Perhaps she isn't ignoring me at all. I just feel like she is because I am delusional. If that is the case then my observations, feelings, and thoughts are all invalid. That almost hurts more. It is just an alternate theory though.

 

[Deplorable Yankee]

Would getting caught get me acknowledged by my wife?

Yep and it will only compound whatever's bothering her and send her straight to the divorce attorney ...

Find out what's wrong is your first step ....maybe it's fixable maybe it ain't
Maybe you'll be able to part peacefully and financially intact ...or maybe you'll be on your second honeymoon

Find out
Then worry about a new woman

 

[gipper]

I gotcha. I do have an alternate theory. The theory is that I am 100% totally insane. In that case, there is only one way to remedy that. Perhaps she isn't ignoring me at all. I just feel like she is because I am delusional. If that is the case then my observations, feelings, and thoughts are all invalid. That almost hurts more. It is just an alternate theory though.

You might try smoking a lot of marijana. I hear it helps make one much more aware of their surroundings and the feelings of others.

 

[presonorek]

............ and send her straight to the divorce attorney ...

This one has me puzzled. Why is this bad?

 

[presonorek]

You might try smoking a lot of marijana. I hear it helps make one much more aware of their surroundings and the feelings of others.

How do you get that stuff?

 

[gipper]

How do you get that stuff?

At the store.

 

[Blaster]

Girls just want to have fun.

 

[Blaster]

Why do people choose not to have affairs?

I am strongly considering it but it just seems so much like a bad idea. I will just continue being ignored by my wife and feeling pure misery all hours of my life. Eventually, I will die. Staying married and faithful until the end is definitely the best financial decision. Does anybody have any experience with this with the benefit of hindsight? Is it healthy to be in pure misery 100% of the time all day, all week, all month, all year, and for decades on end for the sake of saving your marriage is it better to find someone that thinks you are awesome and views you as a person?

Does anybody know what to do about a wife that doesn't even know that you exist? There are just so many issues to solve at once.

WARNING: I will ignore all cop-out answers. Don't cop out.

Many married people want their cake and eat it too.