Sexual Affairs

[Blues Man]

Why do people choose not to have affairs?

I am strongly considering it but it just seems so much like a bad idea. I will just continue being ignored by my wife and feeling pure misery all hours of my life. Eventually, I will die. Staying married and faithful until the end is definitely the best financial decision. Does anybody have any experience with this with the benefit of hindsight? Is it healthy to be in pure misery 100% of the time all day, all week, all month, all year, and for decades on end for the sake of saving your marriage is it better to find someone that thinks you are awesome and views you as a person?

Does anybody know what to do about a wife that doesn't even know that you exist? There are just so many issues to solve at once.

WARNING: I will ignore all cop-out answers. Don't cop out.

You have choices ere

1 Try to get your marriage back on track

2 End the marriage

3 Be a lying cheating son of a bitch.

 

[presonorek]

You have choices ere

1 Try to get your marriage back on track

2 End the marriage

3 Be a lying cheating son of a bitch.

I am leaning towards three. Any idea why that is a bad option? You or anybody else calling me names isn't an adequate disincentive so I need better detterents.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

The last place I would come to on earth to talk about meaningful things would be this forum.
Hilarious.

 

[presonorek]

The last place I would come to on earth to talk about meaningful things would be this forum.
Hilarious.

You are lucky. Today we are discussing meaningless things.

 

[Blues Man]

I am leaning towards three. Any idea why that is a bad option? You or anybody else calling me names isn't an adequate disincentive so I need better detterents.

It is a bad option. Is that the type of man you want to be? A guy who runs away from his promises and commitments to bury himself in fleeting pleasures that will come with the stress of lying and living in denial.

The obstacle is the way. Do the hard things first

 

[presonorek]

It is a bad option. Is that the type of man you want to be? A guy who runs away from his promises and commitments to bury himself in fleeting pleasures that will come with the stress of lying and living in denial.

The obstacle is the way. Do the hard things first

Option 2 sounds extremely hard out of the three options. We have been doing option 1 repeatedly over and over and over and over and over again and will likely repeat it hundreds of more times. Option 2 sounds damn near impossible but I see people do it all the time. I guess if I had $20,000 liquid cash of my own money it would seem doable but is ending the marriage the best solution simply because it is the hardest?

 

[Blaster]

You have choices here

1 Try to get your marriage back on track

2 End the marriage

3 Be a lying cheating son of a bitch.

The best option would be divorce. Once a spouse strays the marriage is a sham.

 

[Blaster]

The last place I would come to on earth to talk about meaningful things would be this forum.
Hilarious.

This thread is for entertainment just like all the other topics discussed on this forum.

 

[Blues Man]

Option 2 sounds extremely hard out of the three options. We have been doing option 1 repeatedly over and over and over and over and over again and will likely repeat it hundreds of more times. Option 2 sounds damn near impossible but I see people do it all the time. I guess if I had $20,000 liquid cash of my own money it would seem doable but is ending the marriage the best solution simply because it is the hardest?

Is staying in a bad marriage the way you want to live?

What do you get out of that? More stress, more unhappiness, more living a double life in denial

That shit sounds harder to me than getting a divorce.

Do you have kids?
What assets to you and your wife have?

 

[Blues Man]

The best option would be divorce. Once a spouse strays the marriage is a sham.

Or you make a real honest effort to salvage the marriage before you cheat. If that doesn't work then divorce is the only choice IMO

 

[CrusaderFrank]

Why do people choose not to have affairs?

I am strongly considering it but it just seems so much like a bad idea. I will just continue being ignored by my wife and feeling pure misery all hours of my life. Eventually, I will die. Staying married and faithful until the end is definitely the best financial decision. Does anybody have any experience with this with the benefit of hindsight? Is it healthy to be in pure misery 100% of the time all day, all week, all month, all year, and for decades on end for the sake of saving your marriage is it better to find someone that thinks you are awesome and views you as a person?

Does anybody know what to do about a wife that doesn't even know that you exist? There are just so many issues to solve at once.

WARNING: I will ignore all cop-out answers. Don't cop out.

Is there any place on the planet that you’ve always wanted to visit? Go there by yourself for a week, put your phone in a Faraday pocket. See what you think and feel at the end of the week

 

[presonorek]

Is staying in a bad marriage the way you want to live?

What do you get out of that? More stress, more unhappiness, more living a double life in denial

That shit sounds harder to me than getting a divorce.

Do you have kids?
What assets to you and your wife have?

Two kids ages 18 and 20. All of our vehicles are owned individually. The only mutual assets is our minuscule checking accounts and our crappy house. It is probably worth less than $50,000.

I see people all around me in unhappy marriages. They seem to be ok with it.

 

[presonorek]

Is there any place on the planet that you’ve always wanted to visit? Go there by yourself for a week, put your phone in a Faraday pocket. See what you think and feel at the end of the week

Love it. That is much easier for a single guy to accomplish. I could probably pull it off though. I know exactly where I would go.

 

[Blues Man]

Two kids ages 18 and 20. All of our vehicles are owned individually. The only mutual assets is our minuscule checking accounts and our crappy house. It is probably worth less than $50,000.

I see people all around me in unhappy marriages. They seem to be ok with it.

Then the cost isn't the issue.

And why do you want to emulate people in crappy marriages?

Do you not think you are worthy of a fulfilling relationship?

 

[iamwhatiseem]

Two kids ages 18 and 20. All of our vehicles are owned individually. The only mutual assets is our minuscule checking accounts and our crappy house. It is probably worth less than $50,000.

If your kids are that old, they don't need your marriage anymore. It may cause them limited pain for a short while, but they are older now and understand now.
Get the hell out. Staying in your marriage has already damaged you in ways you don't know, but will come to know wants you are out of the fog of a bad marriage.
Get out.

 

[Blues Man]

Love it. That is much easier for a single guy to accomplish. I could probably pull it off though. I know exactly where I would go.

No it isn't.

Both my wife and I will occasionally take a few days of solitude somewhere. She likes the ocean. I prefer the mountains

 

[CrusaderFrank]

Love it. That is much easier for a single guy to accomplish. I could probably pull it off though. I know exactly where I would go.

Disconnect, disengage and figure out what’s right for you

 

[presonorek]

Then the cost isn't the issue.

And why do you want to emulate people in crappy marriages?

Do you not think you are worthy of a fulfilling relationship?

I emulate them because they are part of who I am. These people shaped me.

Yes. I think I am worthy of a fulfilling relationship but supposedly I am obligated to find that in my current marriage. I just won't.

I have done so many bad things and said so many bad things in my life that I am embarrassed to be around those I have hurt. I know I could do it better. I know how to love. It is the being loved part that I need help with. I just don't get why my wife loves me and accepts me. I just don't believe her. It doesn't make sense.

 

[Anathema]

Infidelity is never a good or acceptable option. If things have truly reached the point where there is no chance to repair the relationship, there is divorce.

 

[presonorek]

Then the cost isn't the issue.

And why do you want to emulate people in crappy marriages?

Do you not think you are worthy of a fulfilling relationship?

Supposedly I deserve this marriage because one day when I was 23 and in a really good mood I agreed to stay married until me or my wife died. So I deserve to be bound by that agreement so maybe I don't deserve happiness because of that thing I did one day back when I was 23.

Do I not deserve to be punished for my actions on that day?