make your own "the most interesting man in the world" bits

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One bite from his pet "daddy longlegs" spider will kill a human.

 

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The tents he brings on camping trips have stakes already in the ground.

 

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He measures only once, but cuts twice.

 

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He can beat you at dominoes with a hand of ALL doubles.

 

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His Facebook page doesn't have friends — only admirers.

 

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Heavy metal bands won't allow him in mosh pits at their shows, out of fear.

 

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African safari guides give tours of HIM.

 

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The willow, elm and birch trees in his yard are evergreens.

 

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On his wristwatch, every 15 minutes says "high noon".

 

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He watches Megan Fox's movies for the "stellar acting".

 

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The photocopies he's made of his butt are in The Smithsonian.

 

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Towels he's left on exotic beaches have been adopted as those countries' official flags.

 

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He can solve a Rubik's Cube in under a minute — blindfolded.

 

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The tires on his 1962 Corvette are the originals.

 

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The fish in his ponds will not eat algae — "pond scum", they refer to it as.

 

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He teaches a college course about "what lies at the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop".

 

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His personalized checkerboard patterns have THREE colors.

 

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He can incite a riot, just by staring.

 

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The knobs on all of the stereo systems in his vehicles go to "11".

 

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He no longer goes to amusement parks, because he can't say yes to every hottie who wants him to ride the "Tunnel of Love" with her.