make your own "the most interesting man in the world" bits

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He has never forgotten the combination to a lock.

 

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His dogs have never had fleas.

 

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His lawn mower has never hit a rock.

 

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His CDs have never skipped.

 

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He has never had "buyer's remorse".

 

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The "Wheel in the Sky" once stopped turning, because he wanted it to.

 

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He has never had less than six in his pack.

 

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He frequently dives to the bottom of the ocean — without an oxygen tank.

 

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He has never gotten "junk mail".

 

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His cattle get square meals — from round hay bales.

 

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He has never drawn "the shortest straw".

 

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His lightbulbs never need grease.

 

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He often tangos — with himself.

 

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He once walked up a hill — just because it was there.

 

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He often meets female supermodels at Judas Priest concerts.

 

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He calls St. Augustine grass "weeds".

 

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He routinely gets pulled over for driving while intoxicated — and let go, though intoxicated.

 

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His rose bushes have never had thorns.

 

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He routinely visits psychics — to tell them THEIR fortunes.

 

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The trees he chops down never leave stumps.