Jerky White People/ Where's your Manners?

[Joz]

The lady at the check-out at the grocery acted as if if were too much of a burden to slide my few groceries across her scanner. I bagged them myself.

When I'm in a public place trying to have a good time, I don't want to listen to your phone conversation about your OB/GYN visit. Go outside or to the bathroom.

When I hold the door for you, male or female, a thank you would be in order.And especially if I have an arm load while waiting for your elderly mother to shuffle thru.

 

[UsaPride]

You're so funny. I agree with you on the other thread. If I'm talking to someones child, whoever they are, I would expect them to acknowlege me, just like I do when someones talking to my child, whether they be adult or child. I always give a smile and hello because they are entertaining my child while we wait, LOL, it's a kinda "thank you". So, you're right on!
(Guess I should have written this on the other thread, lol, oh well)

 

[HGROKIT]

On the other hand - you are at a retaurant or somewhere else where you are supposed to be proveided a service. You thank your service provider and the response is "no problem".

Man that drives me bonkers. Like if it were a problem, I don't guess you would be her doing it expecting to get paid now would you!

 

[Moi]

All of that irks me and more:

- People who expect tips, like my garbage men
- Clerks who expect me to say thank you to them when I'm a paying customer
- People who ask me what my "maiden name" is
- People who ask me if I feel guilty being a working mother
- People who act as if I'm not a working mother and waste my time at work then expect me to step into a meeting at 6 pm that they've blown off

 

[Joz]

I'm resurrecting this just because.
Again, I went to the store.
I get to the register and as the girl scans the first item I go to bag it & she yanks it away from me. Tells me she has too much money in her register & needs to take it to the office. NOT a problem. Now, this girl was a cute, petite, not over 22 looking, white girl. I have never seen anyone 400 pounds move any slower than what she did.
When she gets back she scans my order, which wasn't at all large. I only spent $22, that should tell you!

I stop bagging & hand her $30. I continue. She tells me she has only $10, which I look, and that's what she's holding. I look & she's dropped the $20 under the scanner and I had to bend over and get it for her. I should have just waited to see if she'd have ever bent over, but I have my doubts. What happened to work ethic?

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Basic manners are dying out. It's sad. People think it's cool to be rude and if you're nice you must be weak.

 

[DKSuddeth]

Basic manners are dying out. It's sad. People think it's cool to be rude and if you're nice you must be weak.

basic human compassion was done away with during the power grabbing phase of corporate takeover in america. All CEO's are evil....except for freeandfun1.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

basic human compassion was done away with during the power grabbing phase of corporate takeover in america. All CEO's are evil....except for freeandfun1.

pffffffft!

 

[Said1]

What happened to work ethic?

:rotflmao:

 

[freeandfun1]

Today I was at the doctor's office with my wife. While sitting there waiting, I noticed an elderly lady that was using a walker heading for the door. I started to get up, but then I noticed this young Pharmaceuticals salesman, so I figured, "he'll help her". Then I notice this lady coming out of the office with an infant in one of those infant carriers/car seats. She too was heading toward the door. Needless to say, the young man suddenly looked down as he was walking toward the door. So the lady with the baby ended up having to open the door for the elderly lady with her left hand, while holding the carrier in her right as the elderly woman slowly shuffled through the door. The salesman stood there waiting never once reaching up to let the lady with the baby step away from the door. He never once reached for the door until she (rightfully so) let it slam in his face.

 

[musicman]

Basic manners are dying out. It's sad. People think it's cool to be rude and if you're nice you must be weak.

And, as a result, we are becoming an increasingly coarse and inconsiderate society. I don't consider this an inconsequential matter. Some basic, fundamental regard for one's fellow man is being lost here. It can't bode well for the future.

 

[Merlin1047]

And, as a result, we are becoming an increasingly coarse and inconsiderate society. I don't consider this an inconsequential matter. Some basic, fundamental regard for one's fellow man is being lost here. It can't bode well for the future.

Absolutely true. Media in all forms portray rudeness and lack of consideration for others as a sign of strength. We seem to have little time or care for our fellow citizens. But who is really at fault here?

It is easy to lay the blame on the obnoxious horse's ass who makes a nuisance of himself (or herself). But how many times have we witnessed or been directly affected by such behavior and remained silent? Think back to the 1700's and 1800's. Duels and gunfights were common. If person A insulted person B, then person B smacked person A across the chops with a glove and it was either pistols at dawn or a quick-draw contest at high noon. People tended to be VERY polite to each other because the consequences of inappropriate behavior could be deadly. Today, inappropriate behavior is often rewarded, not chastised.

I am not suggesting a return to the duelling codes. I am suggesting that each of us is responsible to object whenever we are treated rudely. Have you stood patiently in a line and watched some jerk cut in front? Did you say anything? If no, you encouraged the behavior. A simple statement "Excuse me, but the end if the line is back there" would be sufficient. Has someone sat in front of you in a theater with a huge cowboy hat on his head? Try my tactic - start wondering aloud if he is using the hat to hold in what is left of his brains or if the hat is screwed on.

I admit that I have a bit of an obnoxious streak. Many of you have probably already figured that out. I temper that with a bit of humor. Example: I HATE it when people seem to think that my sole purpose on this planet is to be a door opening device. Women are especially guilty of this. Now I don't mind opening a door as a courtesy for a woman or a man. But many women tend to sail through, snoot in the air, without so much as a "hello", "thanks" or "kiss my ass". So I have started to retaliate. My favorite ploy is when entering a shopping mall whose outer doors are manual. As I approach from one direction, a woman approaches from the other. She alters course to head for the door I am about to open. I try to time it so that I arrive just before she does. I reach for the door, the pull my hand back and turn away as if I've changed my mind about going in. I've had some women nearly bump their noses on the glass and I've had a couple stand there glaring at me for several seconds before it dawned on them that their hands and arms were functional and that they could open their own damn door. A few months ago, on a weekend motorcyle ride, I stopped at a Hardy's. This establishment had an outer door which led into a small foyer which in turn had an inner door. A woman had been standing in the foyer the entire time that I was walking up to the outer door. I opened the outer door, walked in and opened the inner door. The instant I opened the inner door, she cut in front of me and sailed through. I was momentarily at a loss, but recovered quickly enough to release the door and hit her in the butt with it. She glared at me and I advised her that I was not the doorman for Hardy's but if she was not sure how a door operated, I would be happy to take a few moments and explain it to her. All she had to do to make me happy was a simple "Thanks" and I would have opened the door for her all day long. But apparently she felt that courtesy was beneath her.

Rude people need to have their behavior challenged and pointed out. Until we start standing up for ourselves, we will be the doormat for any inconsiderate, self-centered swine who lacks what we used to consider "common" courtesy.

 

[musicman]

One of my favorite bits of truth is, "an armed society is a polite society". And, according to present trends, we are fast becoming an armed society once again. Between soaring crime rates, and a fed-up citizenry demanding conceal-carry laws, this country is going to start taking on the look of the old west. Fine with me. Decent people afraid to walk the streets - forbidden by lopsided laws to protect hearth and home; pig-eyed sociopaths getting a free pass to do as they wish; all in all, it doesn't sound a hell of a lot different from 1880's Tombstone to me. The cold, uncaring bastards are out there - in force.

My only concern is this: If you would insist on simple civility from the public at large, arming is probably a good idea. One of these self-absorbed sickos is liable to try to slash your throat for "dissing" him. The concept of respect as an "earned" thing is becoming increasingly foreign to this society's ears.

 

[007]

One time I was at an auction back up in Wisconsin. Auctions can get quite crowded, and getting there early is always a good idea. Because if you get there early, you can look over what's for sale, and stake out your space next to whatever, if anything, you want to bid on. Well, as auctions go, this one had a large turn out, and as the auction progresses, the crowd will move. Well I had gotten there early and was standing near something I wanted to bid on. About that time a rather large, around, woman muscled right in front of me, and stopped. I - COULD - NOT - BELIEVE - IT! I got PISSED! So, CALMLY, I put my hand on her shoulder and MOVED HER *OUT* from in front of me. As she seemed to be resisting me, once she lost her balance and HAD to move her feet, she glared at me said quite loudly, "I beg your pardon". This made several people look at me. So, being still pissed, I shot right back, "miss, you muscled directly in front of me so close your hair was in my face and your ass was rubbing my crotch, and that was very RUDE"! Now everyone looked at her. Now I'm sure this boorish broad wasn't accustomed to being talked to like that, and it took her completely by surprize. She glared at me for a couple of seconds and then stormed off. Several of the people who had been witness to the whole thing smiled at me after she left. I felt good.

So I agree with everyone that has said thus far, that rude and inconsiderate behavior needs to be called on and dealt with. Don't LET people be cads.

 

[Joz]

..... One of these self-absorbed sickos is liable to try to slash your throat for "dissing" him.

I agree that something should be done but I'm afraid of this. Yes, you can tell someone they've been rude or boot them in the behind with a door but what happens when you do it to the wrong person?

 

[KarlMarx]

Delusions that we've accepted as truths

1. "Manners are phony and hypocritical. It is much better to be honest" --- No, manners are a form of respect. Even a phony "how are you" or "thank you" is better than an honest "F*** You A**hole" (and produces better results). Remember the saying that you can catch more bees with honey than with vineagar.

2. There is no such thing as an absolute right and wrong. No, there actually is an absolute right and wrong. When you do something to degrade the dignity of people, that is generally wrong. In addition, subscribing to the dogma of an absolute code of morals helps to dispell a lot of confusion. Which is why a lot of liberals are confused, they are moral relativists.

3. God is dead or at least on vacation. Well, God rose from the dead and if he's on vacation, watch out when he gets back. The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. If He is capable of destroying an entire solar system in one blinding flash of light, condemning you to Hell isn't going to even break a sweat on His mighty brow.

4. Modern times need a modern code of ethics. Wrong. The reason that we have moral codes is that they have some use in helping us to survive (both the onslaughts of nature, each other and our own ugly habits). Moral relativism is just a fancy way of coming up with an excuse to do something morally questionable and finding validation from others.

5. People's nature is good. Wrong. Just read history and you will quickly see that when there is no fear of punishment, people act like...well...animals! Our nature is to do what it takes to survive and feel good. That means murdering, cheating, stealing, screwing every female (that I find attractive) and no I won't feel bad about it! It is the one great acheivement of human civilization that human nature has been brought under control.

6. Good self esteem is needed to be good and to acheive great things. BIG TIME WRONG. No scientific evidence has ever suggested this to be the case. In fact, many great individuals of the past had lousy self esteem (Lincoln and Winston Churchill suffered from depression, the prophet Jeremiah was known as the "weeping prophet" because he was constantly depressed, the list goes on and on). However, one recent study did correlate a high sense of self esteem with criminal activity. I guess if you feel good about yourself, you don't need to think you're a sinful person in need of God's forgiveness. Note: A further note, that the psychologist (Nathaniel Brandon) that pioneered the self esteem movement stole all his ideas from Ayn Rand (who was about 10 years older than he was, and he also happened to be sleeping with, even though the two of them were married to other people at the time). He also left his wife for Ms. Rand, but then ditched her several years later when a younger and better looking woman came along.

7. Society is evil and human nature is good. Wrong. I already examined the human nature part. Society as I define it is the civilizing influence of our laws, customs etc. The human species has survived and thrived because we somehow decided to cooperate with each other, rather than compete with each other. We also decided to submit to the civilizing influence of society.

 

[William Joyce]

Excellent post, KM.

I grew up in the Midwest and live in NYC, which is the flat-out rudest damn place on earth, except for maybe Paris. The stereotypes about both places are true. New Yorkers think they're so cool and honest by being complete jerks, and will even try to convince you that it's "better" that way. I disagree. I even disagree with their belief that things are more efficient in NYC than in the "fake manners" South. They're not, trust me. I think that manners make life nicer and make things easier.

As an example. I was in court to file something last month. The first woman I approached was surly and nasty. We had it out, over a small thing, and my thing went through. I had to go back an hour later on another matter, and lo and behold, there was the same woman. I decided to just avoid her and go back the next day. I was too exhausted to fight again. As the nasty New Yorker, this is her "win" because she doesn't have to deal with me. But it meant an extra trip to the court for me. That's not "efficient." That's depressing.

The truth is that if we were always truthful about everything, life would suck. Sometimes, you NEED a little sweetness, even if it's kind of made-up. NYC does not understand this. The South and the Midwest do.

 

[KarlMarx]

Excellent post, KM.

I grew up in the Midwest and live in NYC, which is the flat-out rudest damn place on earth, except for maybe Paris. The stereotypes about both places are true. New Yorkers think they're so cool and honest by being complete jerks, and will even try to convince you that it's "better" that way. I disagree. I even disagree with their belief that things are more efficient in NYC than in the "fake manners" South. They're not, trust me. I think that manners make life nicer and make things easier.

As an example. I was in court to file something last month. The first woman I approached was surly and nasty. We had it out, over a small thing, and my thing went through. I had to go back an hour later on another matter, and lo and behold, there was the same woman. I decided to just avoid her and go back the next day. I was too exhausted to fight again. As the nasty New Yorker, this is her "win" because she doesn't have to deal with me. But it meant an extra trip to the court for me. That's not "efficient." That's depressing.

The truth is that if we were always truthful about everything, life would suck. Sometimes, you NEED a little sweetness, even if it's kind of made-up. NYC does not understand this. The South and the Midwest do.

Thanks....your post reminds me of a line from a movie a few years ago....

"Mister, you're either being rude or you're from New York!"

Whenever I travel I make sure I say that I'm from UPSTATE New York, because, although I've met nice people who are from the City, most people automatically think the stereotype.

 

[freeandfun1]

Thanks....your post reminds me of a line from a movie a few years ago....

"Mister, you're either being rude or you're from New York!"

Whenever I travel I make sure I say that I'm from UPSTATE New York, because, although I've met nice people who are from the City, most people automatically think the stereotype.

LOL - That reminds ME of a story.

A couple of weeks ago I was at Costco getting gas. The lines can get long sometimes and it is always crowded (cheap gas does that). Well, the two cars at the two pumps in front of us pulled forward to leave after filling up. The car in front of me, instead of pulling forward to the front pump stopped and so I had to wait (no room to get around him). I honked trying to get him to pull forward, but he just got out of his car and made some comment like, "you can wait". I replied, "you must be a transplanted New Yorker." He said, "yeah, what about it?". I just replied, "never mind, it is obvious. You New Yorkers are such asses".

 

[fuzzykitten99]

The holding the door thing as far as women go, is something that you can blame the feminists for. They have made it common for women to be insulted instead of grateful/thankful or take it as a nice gesture. I thank anyone, especially guys, who hold the door for me, or let me enter first. I also take opportunities to do the same for others.

One guy that held the door for me once, after I said thank you, said that last time he did it, he got yelled at, with the woman asking if he thought she was helpless. I told him that it is a nice gesture, as well as just plain polite to hold the door for anyone. Call me old fashioned, but I liked it when I was out on dates (before I met my hubby) and the guys I went out with, opened my car door for me, and treated me like a lady. And they were only 16/17/18 years old. My hubby still does this for me every so often. Not all the time, because it just isn't practical for him to open my door and the backseat door for a baby who thinks his car seat is a torture device.