My brother said as a kid I was a complete jerk and had a terrible attitude!! He also said I should never own a gun . Said I was a miserable kid !
My mom said I am a total jerk and Ahole for refusing to talk to my sister because she voted for Biden and that I am going to die alone
Wow .it’s great taking to family
[/QUOTE Going by your words and not having the full picture: brothers say things to brothers to get them going regardless of age, same with sisters. I wouldn't lose any sleep over what was likely words he knew would trigger you. As most conversations are a two-way street, I'm guessing that you said things back in your defense, or to get him as well. A pretty normal thing between many family members, but there should maybe be established boundaries-agreed upon when you're not in the middle of a dispute. Take him out for coffee and come up with agreement about limits...if you want to be around him again...that's the first thing I'd do. If not, don't worry about his opinions and only focus on ways to improve your life...little things.
With your mom, she's in the middle of it with your sister it sounds and shouldn't be with two adult kids. That's a thing a lot of adult siblings do when they want the mom to take a side. Nothing good comes from that.
With your sister you seem to be on the fence about whether you want a relationship with her or not. So with her, same thing as with your brother. Take her out for coffee or lunch and have a relaxed (okay...maybe decaf) conversation and talk about how you want to have a better relationship (assuming you do) that comes from better communication. Start with that and make sure to take responsibility for your part (past and current). If she's truly toxic stay away from her, some people are potently toxic and take down all who in their path.
The ball is in your court and you can decide who is toxic, who isn't, and who is worth a relationship. Family dynamics are sometimes set in stone after years of interacting a certain way. The odds are still good though if those involved care enough and are willing to talk about ways to improve in an open environment to set limits "nobody can cross this line...whatever that line is...but known to all in advance to improve things.
