I am a very bad drunk.

[Article 15]

I do have a recollection of a spirit quest on a moped with a Mayan dwarf and several bottles of tequila in Tijuana.

By the way, when a Mayan dwarf shaman asks 'do you want the Tequila or the mushrooms' DO NOT answer “Both little mystery midget.”

Trust me.

I'm ready to believe you.

 

[Luissa]

Wouldn't that have been nice? No, wasn't there, but if you could drive away, you lead a charmed life, indeed.

I shouldn't have drove away. I got in a lot of trouble for doing so.
Just say I was arrested in the hospital.

Stupid witnesses. Why the hell aren't they ever in bed?

The people who owned the house didn't wake up.
I left my car down the road, then called in the morning and told the Police I was on my way to the hospital, and that they could find me there.
I am a terrible criminal!

 

[AllieBaba]

When an alcoholic is unable to become intoxicated, it's not a sign that he's eaten too many McDonald's french fries, it's a sign that his liver is working at maximum capacity. JW has ramped up his liver functionality to the point where it processes alcohol super fast and efficiently.

Down side....livers aren't supposed to work at that level. Eventually they konk out.

 

[JW Frogen]

My liver is working harder than China.

My penis will always salute Ms. Liberty.

And unfortunately, booze had turned my brain into the UN General Assembly.

 

[Xenophon]

I ate two bacon and egg McMuffins and four hash browns this morning, it is past noon and I can not get drunk. Not even a buzz. Four Coopers have been wasted.

The fat is that crap could suck up all time itself.

Loser.

 

[JW Frogen]

That's the stuff.................

Better than the first beer.

 

[Diuretic]

Four Coopers...the cloudy stuff no doubt. Takes me back to one of my worst hangovers.

 

[Si modo]

Frogen, if you are a bad drunk, I wish everyone were drunk.

 

[JW Frogen]

Being a drunk is really hard work, believe me.

I often think I should sober up and go work in a factory in China.

 

[JW Frogen]

But it is also fun as hell with no rules, sort of like being a Chinese Communist Party big wig.

 

[JW Frogen]

China really needs to go to AA.

 

[strollingbones]

i am a fun drunk....i am always in a good mood when i am drinking...unlike da man ...he is a mean ass drunk...so i dont drink with his sorry mean ass...he is verbally abusive to everyone when he is drinking....one time at a party...he began to yell at me.."think g_damnit it...think" rather a major scene...so i dont drink with him...i really dont understand why people get that way...are a drunk man's words really a sober man's thoughts?

 

[dilloduck]

i am a fun drunk....i am always in a good mood when i am drinking...unlike da man ...he is a mean ass drunk...so i dont drink with his sorry mean ass...he is verbally abusive to everyone when he is drinking....one time at a party...he began to yell at me.."think g_damnit it...think" rather a major scene...so i dont drink with him...i really dont understand why people get that way...are a drunk man's words really a sober man's thoughts?

Sure---in vino veritas !

 

[Ringel05]

Will do!

As of today, no more McDondalds.

And here is a toast to my steely resolution.

Nah. This ones more appropriate:

 

[JW Frogen]

i am a fun drunk....i am always in a good mood when i am drinking...unlike da man ...he is a mean ass drunk...so i dont drink with his sorry mean ass...he is verbally abusive to everyone when he is drinking....one time at a party...he began to yell at me.."think g_damnit it...think" rather a major scene...so i dont drink with him...i really dont understand why people get that way...are a drunk man's words really a sober man's thoughts?

Ms Bones, I know what you are talking about.

I am usually a jolly guy drunk, some times very sad. Rarely mad. When I am sober I start to get all pontificating and insufferable about the world. I get on a horse so fucking high that the horseshit needs a parachute.

I don't get it.

And to be honest my drunk thoughts seem more sober than my sober thoughts.

My sober thoughts are always hampered by thinking about the consequences of what I am thinking about, my drunk thoughts just honestly let rip.

 

[Ringel05]

My liver is working harder than China.

My penis will always salute Ms. Liberty.

And unfortunately, booze had turned my brain into the UN General Assembly.

You wouldn't also go by the name Foster Brooks?

 

[JW Frogen]

See, I have a theory Foster Brooks was such an alcoholic his tolerance was so high that people thought he was faking being a drunk. So he made it an act.

Sort of like Micky Mantle or Larry Hagman before the liver transplants.