Ray9
Diamond Member
- Jul 19, 2016
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Oregonians Collapse As Self-Serve Gas Station Law Takes Effect
The backward people of Oregon complain about self-serve gas stations.
The backward people of Oregon complain about self-serve gas stations.
The other day it was -3 in New Hampshire with a 17-mile-an-hour wind on the highway where a busy convenience store is located. I got out of my car and quickly zipped up my jacket while I cursed myself for not wearing gloves. My numb fingers fumbled to get my wallet and choose a credit card. I stood in the biting wind facing a gas pump with a small screen on its face that began barking advertisements for everything from winter gadgets to TV programs. I slid the credit card into a slot and then just as my eyes were starting to freeze shut I had to answer several questions about how I wanted to use the card by operating a touch screen with my now frostbitten fingers.
As my nose started turning blue I had to take an IQ test and remember the pin number that went with card I chose to use. At this point the biological phenomenon of shivering had begun to set in while the miracle of modern technology worked its magic telling me my card was approved. The ordeal was just beginning.
Now I had to choose which grade of fuel I wanted by aiming my blood-drained hand at one of the buttons and watching a light come on. At this worrying moment the pure white digits on the ends of my hands had become sausages and it was a struggle to get the little door open on the side of the car to get to the gas cap. In the extreme chill my wrists had lost the ability to swivel and I had to use two hands to unscrew it.
Now at long last I reached for the gas nozzle and with my last bit of strength, slid it into the car. I fantasized about the olden days while the gas was pumping. As I began to freeze like a statue I thought about the 1950’s in the passenger seat of my dad’s car.
He’d pull into a gas station and an attendant would come right out. The old man never asked for more than three-dollars-worth and the attendant would always ask if he wanted the oil checked. The old man never had to get out of the car to brave the wind.
Those people in Oregon are living in the past.
Idiots!
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