I have been re-born into wokeness!

[Lord Long Rod]

I got to tell you what happened to me recently. I have always been a conservative white male. But then about a month ago something happened that made me see the woke light and literally transformed me into a woke lad!

See, I was on a fishing trip in Florida. I was in the Keys chasing tarpon. One evening I stopped into a local tavern for a cold beer. I ordered a Bud. I thought I was sipping on a gooseneck, but it turned out to be another man's cock! Confused, I pulled away. Then I was hit with an urge for a light beer. You got to watch those calories, you know. Big thighs means no soul. So I ordered a Bud light. The next thing you know I was plunged into a dark existential crisis. I started openly sobbing at the bar. A group of well-dressed men in colorful clothing took pity and offered me comfort through counseling. By the end of the night I realized that I am really a woman!

I realized that all of the masculinity trappings (driving a pickup truck, liking the outdoors and guns, and lusting after women, etc...) were just my unconscious attempt to have my father's approval. BAMM!!!! There is was!! I had an epiphany! I was a slave to the white supremacist patriarchy!! Now that I know that I am really an oppressed black woman, a total and complete victim of whiteness and toxic masculinity.

Well, no more. I woke up! I am now born again into wokeness. I immediately traded in my F150 for a Prius, started drinking white wine, and practicing leftist-prog politics! In fact, I have an appointment at the makeup counter at Belks this evening for a makeover. I cannot wait to get rid of all the remnants of my white oppressor. Girl power!!!

 

[JGalt]

Sexy pics or it didn't happen.

 

[BULLDOG]

I got to tell you what happened to me recently. I have always been a conservative white male. But then about a month ago something happened that made me see the woke light and literally transformed me into a woke lad!

See, I was on a fishing trip in Florida. I was in the Keys chasing tarpon. One evening I stopped into a local tavern for a cold beer. I ordered a Bud. I thought I was sipping on a gooseneck, but it turned out to be another man's cock! Confused, I pulled away. Then I was hit with an urge for a light beer. You got to watch those calories, you know. Big thighs means no soul. So I ordered a Bud light. The next thing you know I was plunged into a dark existential crisis. I started openly sobbing at the bar. A group of well-dressed men in colorful clothing took pity and offered me comfort through counseling. By the end of the night I realized that I am really a woman!

I realized that all of the masculinity trappings (driving a pickup truck, liking the outdoors and guns, and lusting after women, etc...) were just my unconscious attempt to have my father's approval. BAMM!!!! There is was!! I had an epiphany! I was a slave to the white supremacist patriarchy!! Now that I know that I am really an oppressed black woman, a total and complete victim of whiteness and toxic masculinity.

Well, no more. I woke up! I am now born again into wokeness. I immediately traded in my F150 for a Prius, started drinking white wine, and practicing leftist-prog politics! In fact, I have an appointment at the makeup counter at Belks this evening for a makeover. I cannot wait to get rid of all the remnants of my white oppressor. Girl power!!!

Just another example of how change will come when it is time for change to come. Just consider all the previous times you sucked dicks in bars, but your epiphany didn't happen until that particular dick was sucked.

 

[TNHarley]

Same thing happened to science rocks before he changed into jessica storm lover

 

[leftwinger]

only in America

 

[otto105]

I got to tell you what happened to me recently. I have always been a conservative white male. But then about a month ago something happened that made me see the woke light and literally transformed me into a woke lad!

See, I was on a fishing trip in Florida. I was in the Keys chasing tarpon. One evening I stopped into a local tavern for a cold beer. I ordered a Bud. I thought I was sipping on a gooseneck, but it turned out to be another man's cock! Confused, I pulled away. Then I was hit with an urge for a light beer. You got to watch those calories, you know. Big thighs means no soul. So I ordered a Bud light. The next thing you know I was plunged into a dark existential crisis. I started openly sobbing at the bar. A group of well-dressed men in colorful clothing took pity and offered me comfort through counseling. By the end of the night I realized that I am really a woman!

I realized that all of the masculinity trappings (driving a pickup truck, liking the outdoors and guns, and lusting after women, etc...) were just my unconscious attempt to have my father's approval. BAMM!!!! There is was!! I had an epiphany! I was a slave to the white supremacist patriarchy!! Now that I know that I am really an oppressed black woman, a total and complete victim of whiteness and toxic masculinity.

Well, no more. I woke up! I am now born again into wokeness. I immediately traded in my F150 for a Prius, started drinking white wine, and practicing leftist-prog politics! In fact, I have an appointment at the makeup counter at Belks this evening for a makeover. I cannot wait to get rid of all the remnants of my white oppressor. Girl power!!!

Wow, I did not know the Siri could translate grunting.

Good for you.

 

[BULLDOG]

It's been obvious that LLR is a fag for a long time. Odd that he couldn't admit it, even to himself, until now. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

 

[Lord Long Rod]

Just another example of how change will come when it is time for change to come. Just consider all the previous times you sucked dicks in bars, but your epiphany didn't happen until that particular dick was sucked.

It was the shit beer, I tell you.

 

[Lord Long Rod]

It's been obvious that LLR is a fag for a long time. Odd that he couldn't admit it, even to himself, until now. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

You are being homophobic and, therefore, a threat to democrisy!

 

[norwegen]

Might I recommend Macy's instead? At their make-up counter, you can perfect your pout.

 

[Moonglow]

I got to tell you what happened to me recently. I have always been a conservative white male. But then about a month ago something happened that made me see the woke light and literally transformed me into a woke lad!

See, I was on a fishing trip in Florida. I was in the Keys chasing tarpon. One evening I stopped into a local tavern for a cold beer. I ordered a Bud. I thought I was sipping on a gooseneck, but it turned out to be another man's cock! Confused, I pulled away. Then I was hit with an urge for a light beer. You got to watch those calories, you know. Big thighs means no soul. So I ordered a Bud light. The next thing you know I was plunged into a dark existential crisis. I started openly sobbing at the bar. A group of well-dressed men in colorful clothing took pity and offered me comfort through counseling. By the end of the night I realized that I am really a woman!

I realized that all of the masculinity trappings (driving a pickup truck, liking the outdoors and guns, and lusting after women, etc...) were just my unconscious attempt to have my father's approval. BAMM!!!! There is was!! I had an epiphany! I was a slave to the white supremacist patriarchy!! Now that I know that I am really an oppressed black woman, a total and complete victim of whiteness and toxic masculinity.

Well, no more. I woke up! I am now born again into wokeness. I immediately traded in my F150 for a Prius, started drinking white wine, and practicing leftist-prog politics! In fact, I have an appointment at the makeup counter at Belks this evening for a makeover. I cannot wait to get rid of all the remnants of my white oppressor. Girl power!!!

That is not what it means to be woke.

 

[Lord Long Rod]

Ok, ok. I am over it now. I was watching MSNBC, saw a clip of Alex Wagner (smoking hot but dumb as a bag of dicks) and involuntarily started shooting ropes across the living room. The rest of the book club got offended and stormed out of my house.

 

[Concerned American]

I got to tell you what happened to me recently. I have always been a conservative white male. But then about a month ago something happened that made me see the woke light and literally transformed me into a woke lad!

See, I was on a fishing trip in Florida. I was in the Keys chasing tarpon. One evening I stopped into a local tavern for a cold beer. I ordered a Bud. I thought I was sipping on a gooseneck, but it turned out to be another man's cock! Confused, I pulled away. Then I was hit with an urge for a light beer. You got to watch those calories, you know. Big thighs means no soul. So I ordered a Bud light. The next thing you know I was plunged into a dark existential crisis. I started openly sobbing at the bar. A group of well-dressed men in colorful clothing took pity and offered me comfort through counseling. By the end of the night I realized that I am really a woman!

I realized that all of the masculinity trappings (driving a pickup truck, liking the outdoors and guns, and lusting after women, etc...) were just my unconscious attempt to have my father's approval. BAMM!!!! There is was!! I had an epiphany! I was a slave to the white supremacist patriarchy!! Now that I know that I am really an oppressed black woman, a total and complete victim of whiteness and toxic masculinity.

Well, no more. I woke up! I am now born again into wokeness. I immediately traded in my F150 for a Prius, started drinking white wine, and practicing leftist-prog politics! In fact, I have an appointment at the makeup counter at Belks this evening for a makeover. I cannot wait to get rid of all the remnants of my white oppressor. Girl power!!!

And I bet you'll be moving to Evanston IL to get the reparations you are due too.

 

[JustAnotherNut]

TL, DR

But I'm guessing that Lord Long Rod should now be called........Short Shafted ???

 

[otto105]

It was the shit beer, I tell you.

Which end were you sucking?

 

[Lord Long Rod]

TL, DR

But I'm guessing that Lord Long Rod should now be called........Short Shafted ???

LOL!! One time I was on a trail ride on horseback. During a rest break I pulled out my Long Rod to relieve myself. I had never seen a horse cry before that.

 

[BackAgain]

I got to tell you what happened to me recently. I have always been a conservative white male. But then about a month ago something happened that made me see the woke light and literally transformed me into a woke lad!

See, I was on a fishing trip in Florida. I was in the Keys chasing tarpon. One evening I stopped into a local tavern for a cold beer. I ordered a Bud. I thought I was sipping on a gooseneck, but it turned out to be another man's cock! Confused, I pulled away. Then I was hit with an urge for a light beer. You got to watch those calories, you know. Big thighs means no soul. So I ordered a Bud light. The next thing you know I was plunged into a dark existential crisis. I started openly sobbing at the bar. A group of well-dressed men in colorful clothing took pity and offered me comfort through counseling. By the end of the night I realized that I am really a woman!

I realized that all of the masculinity trappings (driving a pickup truck, liking the outdoors and guns, and lusting after women, etc...) were just my unconscious attempt to have my father's approval. BAMM!!!! There is was!! I had an epiphany! I was a slave to the white supremacist patriarchy!! Now that I know that I am really an oppressed black woman, a total and complete victim of whiteness and toxic masculinity.

Well, no more. I woke up! I am now born again into wokeness. I immediately traded in my F150 for a Prius, started drinking white wine, and practicing leftist-prog politics! In fact, I have an appointment at the makeup counter at Belks this evening for a makeover. I cannot wait to get rid of all the remnants of my white oppressor. Girl power!!!

Gaia be praised! Can I hear a “consensus?”

 

[BULLDOG]

It was the shit beer, I tell you.

It was the blowjob you were giving. If you have to tell yourself it was the beer, then you do what you gotta do.

 

[Concerned American]

It was the blowjob you were giving. If you have to tell yourself it was the beer, then you do what you gotta do.

Sounds like the voice of experience.

 

[otto105]

LOL!! One time I was on a trail ride on horseback. During a rest break I pulled out my Long Rod to relieve myself. I had never seen a horse cry before that.

Dude, stop fucking horses.