I think that you are quite a long way down the road to finding out.
How so? Only in death will you know, if you can even know. Otherwise it is guesswork/wishful thinking.
I disagree. You demonstrate having an open mind and humility foundational to life.
Whoever told you that no one can know till after physical death introduced into your mind like malware a false teaching that blinds you to the openly expressed teaching that the very purpose for God communicating with people through messengers was that they would come to know he who truly is God while they are still alive.
Who told you that? What I said is truthful, you only have beliefs. The same god gives everyone a different answer? That makes no sense. You'd have to believe only you have accurately received god's message.
It has never been a secret that the torah means instruction, not history. Knowing this try to find and learn what the stories are actually about, what is being taught through fantastical stories of supernatural events with mythological creatures ascending and descending between opposing realms of being. If you cannot grasp what bronze age people were teaching each other about the harsh realities of life in this world, how do you expect to even know where to look for evidence of God or proof of the truth in the teaching?
If you look and look and keep on looking you will find it.
I can't do it for you. Trying to punch holes in what I say isn't going to make you feel any better for being lazy.
When you begin to discern the hidden teaching of the law, the wisdom of God will come into view. Once the wisdom of God is revealed to you then you will then see the invisible hand of the almighty actively involved in the smallest details of daily life from which no man, rich or poor, sinner or saint, Jew or Gentile, can escape in this world or the next for either good or evil.
If you want to increase your ability to perceive and understand reality as it is, you must first cleanse your mind from all that is false, all that causes your mind to stumble in thought and perception.
If you really want to see God just do it.