Who wants to take the Satan test?

[ding]

Find out if you have what it takes to be Satan. Questions 1-5 are yes /no.

1. Do you believe God exists?
2. Are you Satan?
3. Do you believe Satan exists?
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists?
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist?
6. What is your favorite sin?

 

[fncceo]

1. Do you believe God exists? -- of course
2. Are you Satan? -- Nope, under-qualified
3. Do you believe Satan exists? -- Not as a supernatural omnimalevolent being, no.
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists? -- No. Not in the xtian sense.
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist? -- Never
6. What is your favorite sin? -- All those involving public nudity.

Do I get a prize?

 

[ding]

1. Do you believe God exists? -- of course
2. Are you Satan? -- Nope, under-qualified
3. Do you believe Satan exists? -- Not as a supernatural omnimalevolent being, no.
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists? -- No. Not in the xtian sense.
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist? -- Never
6. What is your favorite sin? -- All those involving public nudity.

Do I get a prize?

You were one question away from being Satan. You scored the same as Sealybobo.

 

[ding]

1. Do you believe God exists? -- of course
2. Are you Satan? -- Nope, under-qualified
3. Do you believe Satan exists? -- Not as a supernatural omnimalevolent being, no.
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists? -- No. Not in the xtian sense.
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist? -- Never
6. What is your favorite sin? -- All those involving public nudity.

Do I get a prize?

I don't have a door prize, sorry, but if a Jew had asked me those questions, I wouldn't have preferenced any of my answers with "not in the Jewish sense." JS.

 

[Darkwind]

Find out if you have what it takes to be Satan. Questions 1-5 are yes /no.

1. Do you believe God exists?
2. Are you Satan?
3. Do you believe Satan exists?
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists?
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist?
6. What is your favorite sin?

1. Yes, who do you think I'm opposing?
2. Yes, you'll pay for that one.
3. I always believe in Myself. God hates that.
4. Yes. I get My supply of souls from there.
5. Yes. Despair is My most juicy meal.
6. Pride. It goeth before the fall.

Now, sign here, please. *hands you a needle to draw blood and sign*

 

[fncceo]

1. Do you believe God exists? -- of course
2. Are you Satan? -- Nope, under-qualified
3. Do you believe Satan exists? -- Not as a supernatural omnimalevolent being, no.
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists? -- No. Not in the xtian sense.
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist? -- Never
6. What is your favorite sin? -- All those involving public nudity.

Do I get a prize?

I don't have a door prize, sorry, but if a Jew had asked me those questions, I wouldn't have preferenced any of my answers with "not in the Jewish sense." JS.

The xtian definitions of things like heaven and hell are the culturally dominant, even among Jews. It's necessary to point out that my definition of common theological concepts isn't the same as the culturally dominant view.

 

[skye]

This is so stupid

so idiotic

how can you be morons like this

 

[BULLDOG]

6. Bend over, and I'll show you.

 

[ding]

Find out if you have what it takes to be Satan. Questions 1-5 are yes /no.

1. Do you believe God exists?
2. Are you Satan?
3. Do you believe Satan exists?
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists?
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist?
6. What is your favorite sin?

1. Yes, who do you think I'm opposing?
2. Yes, you'll pay for that one.
3. I always believe in Myself. God hates that.
4. Yes. I get My supply of souls from there.
5. Yes. Despair is My most juicy meal.
6. Pride. It goeth before the fall.

Now, sign here, please. *hands you a needle to draw blood and sign*

You literally scored a zero on the test. I didn't think that was possible. Bravo.

You are not Satan. Sorry. You failed.

 

[Indeependent]

No wonder there are over a billion Christians in the world who are only Christian when they're shopping for Christmas.

 

[ding]

1. Do you believe God exists? -- of course
2. Are you Satan? -- Nope, under-qualified
3. Do you believe Satan exists? -- Not as a supernatural omnimalevolent being, no.
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists? -- No. Not in the xtian sense.
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist? -- Never
6. What is your favorite sin? -- All those involving public nudity.

Do I get a prize?

I don't have a door prize, sorry, but if a Jew had asked me those questions, I wouldn't have preferenced any of my answers with "not in the Jewish sense." JS.

The xtian definitions of things like heaven and hell are the culturally dominant, even among Jews. It's necessary to point out that my definition of common theological concepts isn't the same as the culturally dominant view.

OK, but it almost resulted in a perfect score.

 

[fncceo]

1. Do you believe God exists? -- of course
2. Are you Satan? -- Nope, under-qualified
3. Do you believe Satan exists? -- Not as a supernatural omnimalevolent being, no.
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists? -- No. Not in the xtian sense.
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist? -- Never
6. What is your favorite sin? -- All those involving public nudity.

Do I get a prize?

You were one question away from being Satan. You scored the same as Sealybobo.

Given that I don't accept the concept of Satan, it's not important what my score might be. Can I take the Tooth Fairy Test?

 

[ding]

This is so stupid

so idiotic

how can you be morons like this

C'mom. I can be much more moronic than this.

Take the test. C'mon. It's not going to kill you. It's all in good fun.

 

[Indeependent]

1. Do you believe God exists? -- of course
2. Are you Satan? -- Nope, under-qualified
3. Do you believe Satan exists? -- Not as a supernatural omnimalevolent being, no.
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists? -- No. Not in the xtian sense.
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist? -- Never
6. What is your favorite sin? -- All those involving public nudity.

Do I get a prize?

You were one question away from being Satan. You scored the same as Sealybobo.

Given that I don't accept the concept of Satan, it's not important what my score might be. Can I take the Tooth Fairy Test?

As long as you don't take the Male Olympic Ice Skating Fairy Test.

 

[fncceo]

1. Do you believe God exists? -- of course
2. Are you Satan? -- Nope, under-qualified
3. Do you believe Satan exists? -- Not as a supernatural omnimalevolent being, no.
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists? -- No. Not in the xtian sense.
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist? -- Never
6. What is your favorite sin? -- All those involving public nudity.

Do I get a prize?

You were one question away from being Satan. You scored the same as Sealybobo.

Given that I don't accept the concept of Satan, it's not important what my score might be. Can I take the Tooth Fairy Test?

As long as you don't take the Male Olympic Ice Skating Fairy Test.

I don't have the figure to pull of those tights.

 

[ding]

1. Do you believe God exists? -- of course
2. Are you Satan? -- Nope, under-qualified
3. Do you believe Satan exists? -- Not as a supernatural omnimalevolent being, no.
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists? -- No. Not in the xtian sense.
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist? -- Never
6. What is your favorite sin? -- All those involving public nudity.

Do I get a prize?

You were one question away from being Satan. You scored the same as Sealybobo.

Given that I don't accept the concept of Satan, it's not important what my score might be. Can I take the Tooth Fairy Test?

I haven't made that test up yet. Feel free to give it a shot.

I'm familiar with your concept of God's angel.

 

[Disir]

1. Do you believe God exists? No.
2. Are you Satan? No.
3. Do you believe Satan exists? No.
4. Do you believe that heaven and hell exists? No.
5. Do you want to convince others that God doesn't exist? No.
6. What is your favorite sin? Nutella.

 

[fncceo]

I'm familiar with your concept of God's angel.

Pretty sure you're not.

 

[ding]

6. Bend over, and I'll show you.

Sensitive much?

Take the test. It's all in good fun.

 

[ding]

I'm familiar with your concept of God's angel.

Pretty sure you're not.

An angel who works for God whose job is to tempt us; test us.

You do realize Job wasn't a Jew, right?