I know a Southern Baptist whose church felt that it wasn't inappropriate to have musical instruments in church, at least not during services, and it is one of those areas that the SBC leaves up to individual congregations which is why I designated that statement with the word "some". Same with dancing.
I took the SBC's statement about only men being ordained as pastors for all their churches at their word. If your husband's church doesn't follow that practice then I was misinformed by the SBC or your husband's church doesn't follow the SBC's guidelines strictly.
I didn't say anything about my husband's church.
And none of the southern Baptist churches I know about think it is inappropriate to have instrumental music in the church so the Southern Baptist you're describing is very typical about that.
The old fashioned Church of Christ--not the UCC--and the Quakers, Amish, and Mennonites most usually don't have instrumental music in their churches. But the SBC takes no position on that in any way. I'm pretty sure you'll find a piano and/or organ in the auditorium of any Southern Baptist Church you visit and a number of Southern Baptist congregations, if not most, now have full fledged praise bands with guitars, drums, and other instruments. There isn't much better church music anywhere than that put out by the Southern Baptists.
One thing to know about the Southern Baptist Convention is that they do not dictate what the local congregations do in any way. They provide clear guidelines for what a Southern Baptist believes in matters of faith, but the local congregation is completely autonomous to set its own rules and practices.