USMB Coffee Shop IV

[Ringel05]

Last night was hard, like being in a waking nightmare with no way out. While I'm not sucidal I now know why some people take their lives or just give up and lock themselves away. I did two things that helped, started a grief journal and took a couple of Lorazepam to help sleep and help it did. I slept for about 9 hours straight and only a call at noon from the hospice bereavement counselor woke me up or I would have slept longer. The drawback to taking the Lorazepam is I'm now dealing with a mental and visual fog, can't wait for this shit to wear off and probably won't take it again unless my grief becomes overwealming again.

 

[Kondor3]

Ringel... may the good Lord grant peace to your lady-wife, and strength and loving memories to you and your family in the coming days. God bless.

 

[Foxfyre]

Last night was hard, like being in a waking nightmare with no way out. While I'm not sucidal I now know why some people take their lives or just give up and lock themselves away. I did two things that helped, started a grief journal and took a couple of Lorazepam to help sleep and help it did. I slept for about 9 hours straight and only a call at noon from the hospice bereavement counselor woke me up or I would have slept longer. The drawback to taking the Lorazepam is I'm now dealing with a mental and visual fog, can't wait for this shit to wear off and probably won't take it again unless my grief becomes overwealming again.

The grief tears you apart but is necessary for the healing that will come. I believe she is with you going through it. And helping as she can. I hope you can feel how much all of us care.

 

[flacaltenn]

My wife Kathy "Kat" lost her battle with cancer just before midnight yesterday. My love, my life, my best friend is now in God's embrace. No words can express the pain, the loss, the shock I am feeling right now, I had thought we had more time together. I'm numb, can't sleep, can barely think and find myself wandering around the house without purpose.
She will always be with me, in my heat and in my memories. I will always remember her as she was and one day we will be reunited for all time.

Kat

Peace to both of you.. You bonded for life with a very lucky lady.. If you entertained her as you entertain us -- it was a great life..

 

[Foxfyre]

Our internet was out last night and I couldn't get on to post the vigil list.

May the Coffee Shop always be a virtual family for those who need or enjoy one here. Meanwhile we pray or send positive vibes or keep vigil for:

Harper, the inspiration for the vigil list.
Pogo’s friend Pat and special comfort for Pogo,
Montrovant for continued progress in his transition.
Kat for wellness
JustAnotherNut for wellness
Mindful and healing for her shoulder.
Good results for Nosmo King 's step nephew dealing with difficult surgeries.
Beautress for wellness.
Gracie and Mr. G. for continued progress for solutions.
007 and his mom and family for comfort and peace.
Corazon for wellness.
For gallantwarrior for impending surgeries and his safety and resolution of his impossible situation with his 'partner' and the help he needs during this difficult time.
And for our dear Ringel who lost his beloved wife 'Kat' yesterday, sending all our love, caring, and support in this difficult time.

And we keep the light on so others who have been away can find their way back and we hope they do.

Heaven is blessed with another beautiful angel.

 

[Ringel05]

Last night was hard, like being in a waking nightmare with no way out. While I'm not sucidal I now know why some people take their lives or just give up and lock themselves away. I did two things that helped, started a grief journal and took a couple of Lorazepam to help sleep and help it did. I slept for about 9 hours straight and only a call at noon from the hospice bereavement counselor woke me up or I would have slept longer. The drawback to taking the Lorazepam is I'm now dealing with a mental and visual fog, can't wait for this shit to wear off and probably won't take it again unless my grief becomes overwealming again.

The grief tears you apart but is necessary for the healing that will come. I believe she is with you going through it. And helping as she can. I hope you can feel how much all of us care.

I'm learning to do something I could never do before and that's let people help I was too staunchly independent and I guess too proud to ask for or accept offered help. Tony, my friend and real estate agent who grew up in ABQ and is also ex-Navy offered help yesterday and I gracefully turned him down. He offered again today and after last night I decided to let him help. He came by with some Chinese food around 5:30 and we chatted until 11:30 when I kicked him out, he looked like he was about to fall asleep, way past his bed time. It was wonderful, helped lift me out of my depression, at least for now, and I found out I was actually hungry. Maybe next time he and his family can come over with maybe some other friends and we'll have a BBQ.
It felt good just talking about nothing.
Also told my neighbors, the wife had just been through the same thing last week with her mother so there's shared experiences.
People seem to be coming out of the woodwork to help, I'm feeling humbled and blessed.

 

[Ringel05]

Our internet was out last night and I couldn't get on to post the vigil list.

May the Coffee Shop always be a virtual family for those who need or enjoy one here. Meanwhile we pray or send positive vibes or keep vigil for:

Harper, the inspiration for the vigil list.
Pogo’s friend Pat and special comfort for Pogo,
Montrovant for continued progress in his transition.
Kat for wellness
JustAnotherNut for wellness
Mindful and healing for her shoulder.
Good results for Nosmo King 's step nephew dealing with difficult surgeries.
Beautress for wellness.
Gracie and Mr. G. for continued progress for solutions.
007 and his mom and family for comfort and peace.
Corazon for wellness.
For gallantwarrior for impending surgeries and his safety and resolution of his impossible situation with his 'partner' and the help he needs during this difficult time.
And for our dear Ringel who lost his beloved wife 'Kat' yesterday, sending all our love, caring, and support in this difficult time.

And we keep the light on so others who have been away can find their way back and we hope they do.

Heaven is blessed with another beautiful angel.
View attachment 374068

It may be out tomorrow also, at least it will in my neighborhood, maintenance and upgrades. Found out when I called to remove everything but internet from my Comcast account earlier today. That will drop my monthly bill by at least $100. Same with removing my wife's phone from our T-Mobile account, about another $100 a month in savings.

 

[Gracie]

Grieve....take as much time as you need. But don't be alone for too long. Get out. Take a drive. Enjoy a nice sunset or sunrise. Visit the neighbors. Be with your friend you spoke of.
And most importantly...know she IS with you. You might smell a light scent of perfume, or hear her footstep or feel a brush of hand along your jaw or in your hair. Always remember...death does not part you. Only the physical body. Her spirit is very much alive and will stay by your side until the day you join her.

Hugs


And yeah..I can relate to being independent. Felt the same way after the fire and so many helped me. I needed that help desperately because MrG was and is having a harder time dealing with the fall out, but I felt uncomfortable accepting it. It was truly a learning experience for me, and moved me in ways I can never express. So you accept it, too. Then when something happens, you can always pay it forward when and if you can.

 

[Gracie]

Our internet was out last night and I couldn't get on to post the vigil list.

May the Coffee Shop always be a virtual family for those who need or enjoy one here. Meanwhile we pray or send positive vibes or keep vigil for:

Harper, the inspiration for the vigil list.
Pogo’s friend Pat and special comfort for Pogo,
Montrovant for continued progress in his transition.
Kat for wellness
JustAnotherNut for wellness
Mindful and healing for her shoulder.
Good results for Nosmo King 's step nephew dealing with difficult surgeries.
Beautress for wellness.
Gracie and Mr. G. for continued progress for solutions.
007 and his mom and family for comfort and peace.
Corazon for wellness.
For gallantwarrior for impending surgeries and his safety and resolution of his impossible situation with his 'partner' and the help he needs during this difficult time.
And for our dear Ringel who lost his beloved wife 'Kat' yesterday, sending all our love, caring, and support in this difficult time.

And we keep the light on so others who have been away can find their way back and we hope they do.

Heaven is blessed with another beautiful angel.
View attachment 374068

It may be out tomorrow also, at least it will in my neighborhood, maintenance and upgrades. Found out when I called to remove everything but internet from my Comcast account earlier today. That will drop my monthly bill by at least $100. Same with removing my wife's phone from our T-Mobile account, about another $100 a month in savings.

As soon as we move, we are going to dump xfinity cable. Will keep landline and internet, but drop to basic cable or none at all. I find I like netflix and Amazon Prime better.
Do you get EBT? If so, Prime is only 5.99 per month!!! I might dump my cell phone too, but I keep it cuz I'm the one that does all the driving and what if my van breaks down? The landline is for MrG to call me if I am off doing errands, so I have to keep that.

 

[Ringel05]

Our internet was out last night and I couldn't get on to post the vigil list.

May the Coffee Shop always be a virtual family for those who need or enjoy one here. Meanwhile we pray or send positive vibes or keep vigil for:

Harper, the inspiration for the vigil list.
Pogo’s friend Pat and special comfort for Pogo,
Montrovant for continued progress in his transition.
Kat for wellness
JustAnotherNut for wellness
Mindful and healing for her shoulder.
Good results for Nosmo King 's step nephew dealing with difficult surgeries.
Beautress for wellness.
Gracie and Mr. G. for continued progress for solutions.
007 and his mom and family for comfort and peace.
Corazon for wellness.
For gallantwarrior for impending surgeries and his safety and resolution of his impossible situation with his 'partner' and the help he needs during this difficult time.
And for our dear Ringel who lost his beloved wife 'Kat' yesterday, sending all our love, caring, and support in this difficult time.

And we keep the light on so others who have been away can find their way back and we hope they do.

Heaven is blessed with another beautiful angel.
View attachment 374068

It may be out tomorrow also, at least it will in my neighborhood, maintenance and upgrades. Found out when I called to remove everything but internet from my Comcast account earlier today. That will drop my monthly bill by at least $100. Same with removing my wife's phone from our T-Mobile account, about another $100 a month in savings.

As soon as we move, we are going to dump xfinity cable. Will keep landline and internet, but drop to basic cable or none at all. I find I like netflix and Amazon Prime better.
Do you get EBT? If so, Prime is only 5.99 per month!!! I might dump my cell phone too, but I keep it cuz I'm the one that does all the driving and what if my van breaks down? The landline is for MrG to call me if I am off doing errands, so I have to keep that.

I have a Roku that I can connect to the TV if I ever choose to use it but the only reason we had cable TV is because Kat wanted it, she loved certain shows that were basically only available via cable. I have a digital TV antena for local chanels so I can watch the local news if I want. I don't have a landline so the cell phone is my only phone. As for EBT we are above the income threshold so we didn't get it. With her gone I have to check with SSA about possible survivor income which I believe is around 70% of her monthly SSDI. If I get that then I'll do okay, if not then I might have some serious financial issues.

 

[Nosmo King]

A quick check in from the upper Ohio River valley. The summer, like the Spring, has been lost to the pandemic. It's county fair season now and the dreams of cotton candy, candy apples and elephant ears (the rural version of zeppoli) are shelved for the duration. No blue ribbons will be awarded for patchwork quilts or FFA raised chickens or canned peaches. No puke dust will be spread around the Tilt-a-Whirl, no stolen kisses at the apex of the Ferris Wheel.

My step nephew endured his second hip replacement very well. Many, many thanks for the thoughts, prayers and general good vibes!

Meanwhile his ten year old son, my step grandnephew is busy raising bonsai trees! My brother and sister-in-law got him a bonsai starter kit that captured his imagination. He has been sending me photos of the seedlings as they grew. I got him a couple books on the care and feeding and training of the inscrutable bonsai tradition. Plus some training wire and other bonsai accoutrement.

The down side is, although his stuff came weeks ago, we have been having a hard time getting together to actually give him the bonsai gear.

We used to have Saturday morning breakfasts together when I could be the silly old uncle I was destined to be. I would tell him corny jokes and give him tips to get girls. But social distancing and closed restaurants made our little tradition and bonding untenable. Breaks my heart.

Mom is doing well. We've been keeping her in fresh tomatoes, sweet corn and green peppers. The farm markets, while open, restrict customers to three at once. We have to wait in the car and be waved in by the staff. A zucchini, an eggplant, a dozen ears of corn and half dozen ripe tomatoes later, we are escorted out and the next few customers are waved inside. Summer was never supposed to be like this.

Got time for a joke?

A guy from the city went out to the country to hunt ducks. All day, not one duck was seen. Finally, around 4:30 he decided to pack up and drive back to the city. Then one duck quacked by! He raised his shotgun, took aim and BLAM! The duck spiraled out of the sky, bounced off a barn roof and flopped into a barnyard.

The hunter crossed the road, climbed over a fence and walked up through the barnyard to collect his duck. As he bent over to pick up the duck, a farmer approached and asked what he thought he was doing.

"I'm getting my duck." he replied.

"It's in my barnyard, it hit my barn roof. It's my duck." said the farmer.

"But I just shot it! It's my duck!" said the city-bred hunter.

"Tell ya what. We'll settle this Country Style." said the farmer.

"What's Country style?" asked the hunter.

"We kick each other in the nuts as hard as we can" answered the farmer "Last man standing gets the duck. I'll start!" And WHAM, he kicked the hunter as if he was attempting a sixty yard field goal!

The hunter collapsed to the ground, puked, writhed around for twenty minutes. Finally, he struggled back to his feet.

"Okay. My turn." said the hunter.

"Nah." said the farmer "You can have the duck."

 

[Gracie]

Our internet was out last night and I couldn't get on to post the vigil list.

May the Coffee Shop always be a virtual family for those who need or enjoy one here. Meanwhile we pray or send positive vibes or keep vigil for:

Harper, the inspiration for the vigil list.
Pogo’s friend Pat and special comfort for Pogo,
Montrovant for continued progress in his transition.
Kat for wellness
JustAnotherNut for wellness
Mindful and healing for her shoulder.
Good results for Nosmo King 's step nephew dealing with difficult surgeries.
Beautress for wellness.
Gracie and Mr. G. for continued progress for solutions.
007 and his mom and family for comfort and peace.
Corazon for wellness.
For gallantwarrior for impending surgeries and his safety and resolution of his impossible situation with his 'partner' and the help he needs during this difficult time.
And for our dear Ringel who lost his beloved wife 'Kat' yesterday, sending all our love, caring, and support in this difficult time.

And we keep the light on so others who have been away can find their way back and we hope they do.

Heaven is blessed with another beautiful angel.
View attachment 374068

It may be out tomorrow also, at least it will in my neighborhood, maintenance and upgrades. Found out when I called to remove everything but internet from my Comcast account earlier today. That will drop my monthly bill by at least $100. Same with removing my wife's phone from our T-Mobile account, about another $100 a month in savings.

As soon as we move, we are going to dump xfinity cable. Will keep landline and internet, but drop to basic cable or none at all. I find I like netflix and Amazon Prime better.
Do you get EBT? If so, Prime is only 5.99 per month!!! I might dump my cell phone too, but I keep it cuz I'm the one that does all the driving and what if my van breaks down? The landline is for MrG to call me if I am off doing errands, so I have to keep that.

I have a Roku that I can connect to the TV if I ever choose to use it but the only reason we had cable TV is because Kat wanted it, she loved certain shows that were basically only available via cable. I have a digital TV antena for local chanels so I can watch the local news if I want. I don't have a landline so the cell phone is my only phone. As for EBT we are above the income threshold so we didn't get it. With her gone I have to check with SSA about possible survivor income which I believe is around 70% of her monthly SSDI. If I get that then I'll do okay, if not then I might have some serious financial issues.

Another way to cut corners is...and I don't know if you would want to do it....is rent out a room. And be picky on who you rent to. REAL picky. Single person, quiet, clean, no immediate family that comes to visit 24/7, semi retired, excellent references. You won't be alone but still have your own privacy, and the bonus is 500 bucks or more per month in your pocket. I'd do that IF I wasn't doomed to HUD housing with all their damn rules. Then again, I'm used to roomies. Managing apts for over 40 years, then renting rooms out in the house at home before we had to move...never really had a prob with roomies because I was PICKY. No first come first serve bullshit. I met them face to face multiple times just to chitchat. THEN I chose. And it was always a month to month. After 3 months and we all got along..then I put them on 6 month lease.
It all worked out, extra money, because being PICKY is important.

 

[Ringel05]

Our internet was out last night and I couldn't get on to post the vigil list.

May the Coffee Shop always be a virtual family for those who need or enjoy one here. Meanwhile we pray or send positive vibes or keep vigil for:

Harper, the inspiration for the vigil list.
Pogo’s friend Pat and special comfort for Pogo,
Montrovant for continued progress in his transition.
Kat for wellness
JustAnotherNut for wellness
Mindful and healing for her shoulder.
Good results for Nosmo King 's step nephew dealing with difficult surgeries.
Beautress for wellness.
Gracie and Mr. G. for continued progress for solutions.
007 and his mom and family for comfort and peace.
Corazon for wellness.
For gallantwarrior for impending surgeries and his safety and resolution of his impossible situation with his 'partner' and the help he needs during this difficult time.
And for our dear Ringel who lost his beloved wife 'Kat' yesterday, sending all our love, caring, and support in this difficult time.

And we keep the light on so others who have been away can find their way back and we hope they do.

Heaven is blessed with another beautiful angel.
View attachment 374068

It may be out tomorrow also, at least it will in my neighborhood, maintenance and upgrades. Found out when I called to remove everything but internet from my Comcast account earlier today. That will drop my monthly bill by at least $100. Same with removing my wife's phone from our T-Mobile account, about another $100 a month in savings.

As soon as we move, we are going to dump xfinity cable. Will keep landline and internet, but drop to basic cable or none at all. I find I like netflix and Amazon Prime better.
Do you get EBT? If so, Prime is only 5.99 per month!!! I might dump my cell phone too, but I keep it cuz I'm the one that does all the driving and what if my van breaks down? The landline is for MrG to call me if I am off doing errands, so I have to keep that.

I have a Roku that I can connect to the TV if I ever choose to use it but the only reason we had cable TV is because Kat wanted it, she loved certain shows that were basically only available via cable. I have a digital TV antena for local chanels so I can watch the local news if I want. I don't have a landline so the cell phone is my only phone. As for EBT we are above the income threshold so we didn't get it. With her gone I have to check with SSA about possible survivor income which I believe is around 70% of her monthly SSDI. If I get that then I'll do okay, if not then I might have some serious financial issues.

Another way to cut corners is...and I don't know if you would want to do it....is rent out a room. And be picky on who you rent to. REAL picky. Single person, quiet, clean, no immediate family that comes to visit 24/7, semi retired, excellent references. You won't be alone but still have your own privacy, and the bonus is 500 bucks or more per month in your pocket. I'd do that IF I wasn't doomed to HUD housing with all their damn rules. Then again, I'm used to roomies. Managing apts for over 40 years, then renting rooms out in the house at home before we had to move...never really had a prob with roomies because I was PICKY. No first come first serve bullshit. I met them face to face multiple times just to chitchat. THEN I chose. And it was always a month to month. After 3 months and we all got along..then I put them on 6 month lease.
It all worked out, extra money, because being PICKY is important.

The only times we had renters turned out to be not so good experiences and we thought we were being extremely picky. Not sure I want to do that again.

 

[Gracie]

Damn..what am I to do with the rest of the night? Woke up at 8:30 am, had coffee, went back to bed. Slept a few hours, went back to bed. Woke up again at 10:30pm and still awake. I think I overdid my sleeping aids. Took the xanax too soon after the vicodin. I'm supposed to wait 4 hours between the two but I took it a little less than 3 hours later. Like Ringel....I was in a fog of some gnarly dreams and when I did wake due to having to pee, I stumbled around until I found the bed again to fall into.
Not gonna take anything today at all. Maybe a melatonin gummy later. Or..stay up for another 14 hours and take a short nap to get back on schedule.

 

[Gracie]

Our internet was out last night and I couldn't get on to post the vigil list.

May the Coffee Shop always be a virtual family for those who need or enjoy one here. Meanwhile we pray or send positive vibes or keep vigil for:

Harper, the inspiration for the vigil list.
Pogo’s friend Pat and special comfort for Pogo,
Montrovant for continued progress in his transition.
Kat for wellness
JustAnotherNut for wellness
Mindful and healing for her shoulder.
Good results for Nosmo King 's step nephew dealing with difficult surgeries.
Beautress for wellness.
Gracie and Mr. G. for continued progress for solutions.
007 and his mom and family for comfort and peace.
Corazon for wellness.
For gallantwarrior for impending surgeries and his safety and resolution of his impossible situation with his 'partner' and the help he needs during this difficult time.
And for our dear Ringel who lost his beloved wife 'Kat' yesterday, sending all our love, caring, and support in this difficult time.

And we keep the light on so others who have been away can find their way back and we hope they do.

Heaven is blessed with another beautiful angel.
View attachment 374068

It may be out tomorrow also, at least it will in my neighborhood, maintenance and upgrades. Found out when I called to remove everything but internet from my Comcast account earlier today. That will drop my monthly bill by at least $100. Same with removing my wife's phone from our T-Mobile account, about another $100 a month in savings.

As soon as we move, we are going to dump xfinity cable. Will keep landline and internet, but drop to basic cable or none at all. I find I like netflix and Amazon Prime better.
Do you get EBT? If so, Prime is only 5.99 per month!!! I might dump my cell phone too, but I keep it cuz I'm the one that does all the driving and what if my van breaks down? The landline is for MrG to call me if I am off doing errands, so I have to keep that.

I have a Roku that I can connect to the TV if I ever choose to use it but the only reason we had cable TV is because Kat wanted it, she loved certain shows that were basically only available via cable. I have a digital TV antena for local chanels so I can watch the local news if I want. I don't have a landline so the cell phone is my only phone. As for EBT we are above the income threshold so we didn't get it. With her gone I have to check with SSA about possible survivor income which I believe is around 70% of her monthly SSDI. If I get that then I'll do okay, if not then I might have some serious financial issues.

Another way to cut corners is...and I don't know if you would want to do it....is rent out a room. And be picky on who you rent to. REAL picky. Single person, quiet, clean, no immediate family that comes to visit 24/7, semi retired, excellent references. You won't be alone but still have your own privacy, and the bonus is 500 bucks or more per month in your pocket. I'd do that IF I wasn't doomed to HUD housing with all their damn rules. Then again, I'm used to roomies. Managing apts for over 40 years, then renting rooms out in the house at home before we had to move...never really had a prob with roomies because I was PICKY. No first come first serve bullshit. I met them face to face multiple times just to chitchat. THEN I chose. And it was always a month to month. After 3 months and we all got along..then I put them on 6 month lease.
It all worked out, extra money, because being PICKY is important.

The only times we had renters turned out to be not so good experiences and we thought we were being extremely picky. Not sure I want to do that again.

Consider it if things get tight. At least temp lodgings for someone looking to buy a home or something. Or an older student maybe. Or temp job someone is doing. Can't hurt to have that as back up if needed. And stay picky. Actually, pickiER.

 

[Ringel05]

Damn..what am I to do with the rest of the night? Woke up at 8:30 am, had coffee, went back to bed. Slept a few hours, went back to bed. Woke up again at 10:30pm and still awake. I think I overdid my sleeping aids. Took the xanax too soon after the vicodin. I'm supposed to wait 4 hours between the two but I took it a little less than 3 hours later. Like Ringel....I was in a fog of some gnarly dreams and when I did wake due to having to pee, I stumbled around until I found the bed again to fall into.
Not gonna take anything today at all. Maybe a melatonin gummy later. Or..stay up for another 14 hours and take a short nap to get back on schedule.

Me? I think it's time for bed. Praying I have a restful sleep tonight.

 

[Gracie]

I rented to a guy that worked temp at Diablo Nuclear Plant, there in SLO county. Dude made good money, was from Missouri, about 50 years old. PERFECT tenant. Worked 12 hour shifts,slept when home, ate out. He was there 3 months til job ended. Hated to see him go.

 

[Gracie]

Damn..what am I to do with the rest of the night? Woke up at 8:30 am, had coffee, went back to bed. Slept a few hours, went back to bed. Woke up again at 10:30pm and still awake. I think I overdid my sleeping aids. Took the xanax too soon after the vicodin. I'm supposed to wait 4 hours between the two but I took it a little less than 3 hours later. Like Ringel....I was in a fog of some gnarly dreams and when I did wake due to having to pee, I stumbled around until I found the bed again to fall into.
Not gonna take anything today at all. Maybe a melatonin gummy later. Or..stay up for another 14 hours and take a short nap to get back on schedule.

Me? I think it's time for bed. Praying I have a restful sleep tonight.

Night, Ringel.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

I'm sorry Ringle... there are no words but that.
I hope you get through this process as best you can, and find a new sort of happiness.

 

[Montrovant]

Last night was hard, like being in a waking nightmare with no way out. While I'm not sucidal I now know why some people take their lives or just give up and lock themselves away. I did two things that helped, started a grief journal and took a couple of Lorazepam to help sleep and help it did. I slept for about 9 hours straight and only a call at noon from the hospice bereavement counselor woke me up or I would have slept longer. The drawback to taking the Lorazepam is I'm now dealing with a mental and visual fog, can't wait for this shit to wear off and probably won't take it again unless my grief becomes overwealming again.

The grief tears you apart but is necessary for the healing that will come. I believe she is with you going through it. And helping as she can. I hope you can feel how much all of us care.

I'm learning to do something I could never do before and that's let people help I was too staunchly independent and I guess too proud to ask for or accept offered help. Tony, my friend and real estate agent who grew up in ABQ and is also ex-Navy offered help yesterday and I gracefully turned him down. He offered again today and after last night I decided to let him help. He came by with some Chinese food around 5:30 and we chatted until 11:30 when I kicked him out, he looked like he was about to fall asleep, way past his bed time. It was wonderful, helped lift me out of my depression, at least for now, and I found out I was actually hungry. Maybe next time he and his family can come over with maybe some other friends and we'll have a BBQ.
It felt good just talking about nothing.
Also told my neighbors, the wife had just been through the same thing last week with her mother so there's shared experiences.
People seem to be coming out of the woodwork to help, I'm feeling humbled and blessed.

I have a hard time asking for or accepting help. I've never been through what you are going through, but I hope you continue being able to accept help when it's offered. Take it as a sign that you have been doing something right to make people want to help you.