I had an old friend drop by last evening. I've known him for forty years. He and I and Puddin' Head and several others were thick as thieves. He got married, Puddin' Head got married, everyone else got married. I travelled to Europe and the Caribbean and the major cities of North America for work, living out of a suit case and armed with a set of plans and a contract specification book riding herd on unscrupulous general contractors.
We kept in touch. Holidays we would make the effort to get together. Puddin' Head threw biannual Pig Roasts and we got together then too.
But my old friend developed a gambling addition. There are casinos and 'cafes' in nearby West Virginia that offer table games, slot machines, poker both real and virtual and keno. Keno, as it turned out, was my buddy's game of choice.
He stopped by to borrow some tobacco as he had none and was flat broke. His car had been repossessed and his bank account was empty. He confessed that he easily lost better than $100,000 in the past four years.
He was divorced after his gambling got out of control. His daughter had recently graduated from high school. During the commencement ceremony, the graduates are each given a rose which they are to present to the person who has proven to be the best influence on their young lives. My friend was seated next to his ex-wife and her father. His daughter gave the rose to her grandfather. My friend realized that he did not deserve that rose, but he was crushed to make that realization so tangible.
I hope and pray that he can get the help he needs to overcome this crushing addition. I told him that it is a process and there are professionals who deal with his sort of problem every day. Of course, in his mind he thought that there would be some magic bullet, some bumper sticker method to kick his gambling addiction. "I thought the counselor would say 'Do this then this then this and you'll be okay.'"
"If it was that easy" I said "They would print it on a t shirt and there would be no more addictive personalities."
"I know that now, but I'm discouraged." he explained.
I hope he gets back to a counselor and gets the help he needs.