I'm concerned about Daisy the Mutt. Ever since Sunday afternoon, she has refused to put any weight on her left rear leg. She limps around Pimplebutt and looks absolutely pitiful. When I put her outside, she walks around on her front paws exclusively. I called the Veterinarian's office and made an appointment for he tomorrow at 10:30. Mom, meanwhile, implored me to call the Vet back and explain that this is an emergency. Daisy is not bleeding, she's awake and ready to lick out any bowl that had contained ice cream. It's not an emergency by any stretch except Mom's.
But, you're long over due for a story. Back in the mid 1980s I lived in sunny Sarasota, Florida. While it is truly a beautiful place, it's not for me. I need the change of seasons to remain sane. I remember Christmastime there when they would light up the palm trees in red and green floodlights. Yuck! Christmas there to me was as Christmas must be for a Hindu.
I was relatively fresh out of The Ohio State University and embarking on my career as an engineer. My first assignment was to gather topographical data on a 5,000 acre plot of land that was to be developed into 36 holes of golf and luxury homes. But when I first saw it, it was nothing more than billiard table flat ground with scrub palms, live oaks and wild boar.
One lunchtime, I took my seat on the tailgate of the pickup truck we were using as a survey vehicle. I opened my lunch and the newspaper and partook of both. A little background information. My real first name is Scott, not Nosmo. This is germane to the story as you will see later on.
One of the fellows on the survey crew was named Jim. Jim was a very pleasant guy, but he was also profoundly deaf. He sported hearing aids in both ears and suffered from a severe speech impediment. His "s" sounds came out like "Ds". Jim was from Daginaw Micdigan.
Jim wandered off into the scrub while I ate and read the paper. About five minutes later I heard Jim call out "Hey Dot!" "What is it Jim?" I answered.
"Ya got any dope?" he called to me.
"Dope?!? What would I have any dope out here for?"
Jim emerged from the cover of the scrub palms, lifted his left hand to the sky and said "'Cause I got dit on my hand!"