Singles bar

[WelfareQueen]

Soo...I attempted a date this past Friday. Have known this guy a few years. We met at a party of a mutual friend, exchanged numbers and did the whole stupid FB friend thing. We just never went on a date till a few weeks ago we went to lunch. Had a great time and he asked me out again.

I had last Friday off so he asked if i wanted to spend the day together, meet for breakfast/brunch and go hiking or something. Awesome. SO I get there, we spend a few hours together and he gets a call. From his ex-wife. She just broke up with her bf of 3 yrs and "is beside herself". Can he get their son from school. Ok, thats fine, assuming our day will just end at 2 instead of later like planned. Nope, I asked what time he had to go. He said in like a half hour (which will be 1230) she needs someone to talk to. And he GOES.

I am a bit put out at this point but we exchange the pleasantries Friday night "Had a nice time..me too...etc"


Then nothing the rest of the weekend. I assume he is busy wiht his son. I didnt reach out. Yes, I was still put off but I wasnt the one cutting the date short. I kind of felt he wanted an out. But me being the girl, texted him Tuesday night. And he was mad at ME for not texting all weekend. "What? NOW your talkign to me? What did I do that was so bad. I guess I wasnt what you wanted"

Uh, what? I asked him if he had one of those special phones that only takes incoming texts/calls. And told him to put himself in my shoes before he decided to be mad at me. No response. Crickets lol.

The weekend before that...my date was horrible to.

I am starting to think I am the common denominator in all this mess lol.

It's not you at all. HG is a smart guy. His post is right on the money. This guy still has feelings for the ex. He needs to work through some shit. You can do better.

 

[Diana1180]

Thank you. I started feeling like I was the one who needed to apologize lol.

I sent my response back and he hasnt responded so I am thinking it was his way of taking the out.

Which confuses the shit out of me because HE asked for the date inthe first place after we had lunch.

Single is so much easier.

 

[High_Gravity]

Thank you. I started feeling like I was the one who needed to apologize lol.

I sent my response back and he hasnt responded so I am thinking it was his way of taking the out.

Which confuses the shit out of me because HE asked for the date inthe first place after we had lunch.

Single is so much easier.

Well another thing I should mention is, usually when you go out with someone and don't hear from them, it usually means their not interested so he probably got a little butt hurt. I went out with a girl my co workers set me up with a few months ago, I thought the date went amazing but afterwards I text her and said I had a good time and she took hours to respond, so I knew that was a red flag. Its easy to get upset in these situations, he probably liked you but has unresolved issues with the ex, its probably good you saw all of this on the first date before you really invested I would count yourself lucky.

 

[High_Gravity]

He probably knows your about to cut him loose and wants to spare himself the hurt from that.

 

[Diana1180]

But the thing is Friday night when he texted me telling me he had a good time I responded right away that I did also. I also made some stupid comment on one of his FB posts ( I sound liek I am in high school) so he knows I wasnt ignoring him.

Saturday ...nothing...sunday..nothing. But he also had his son all weekend so I thought he was busy with him. I am not one to constantly text all day and bug the person.

After he got mad at me I told him my side and told him to put himself in my shoes before he got too mad. He didnt respond. Then said he would respond later "when he had a clear head" That was Wednseday.

Chalk it up to a learning experience.

Too bad too because he had seemed like a nice guy lol.

 

[High_Gravity]

But the thing is Friday night when he texted me telling me he had a good time I responded right away that I did also. I also made some stupid comment on one of his FB posts ( I sound liek I am in high school) so he knows I wasnt ignoring him.

Saturday ...nothing...sunday..nothing. But he also had his son all weekend so I thought he was busy with him. I am not one to constantly text all day and bug the person.

After he got mad at me I told him my side and told him to put himself in my shoes before he got too mad. He didnt respond. Then said he would respond later "when he had a clear head" That was Wednseday.

Chalk it up to a learning experience.

Its a very fine line, this all depends on the person, if you text too soon some people think your too clingy, if you wait too long people assume your not interested, sometimes you can't win. Dating is a loaded mine field, sometimes a small miscommunication can derail things before you even get started but thats life I guess, I've been single 2 years and I have dated alot and had some one night stands but nothing serious, I get derailed before a serious relationship can even start, I don't think I am meant for one, and I cannot keep the married women away from me. 3 of the women I have hooked up with in the past few years have been married.

 

[Diana1180]

Its a very fine line, this all depends on the person, if you text too soon some people think your too clingy, if you wait too long people assume your not interested, sometimes you can't win. Dating is a loaded mine field, sometimes a small miscommunication can derail things before you even get started but thats life I guess, I've been single 2 years and I have dated alot and had some one night stands but nothing serious, I get derailed before a serious relationship can even start, I don't think I am meant for one, and I cannot keep the married women away from me. 3 of the women I have hooked up with in the past few years have been married.

So true..very fine line.

Dont get me started on the married men lol

 

[AyeCantSeeYou]

But the thing is Friday night when he texted me telling me he had a good time I responded right away that I did also. I also made some stupid comment on one of his FB posts ( I sound liek I am in high school) so he knows I wasnt ignoring him.

Saturday ...nothing...sunday..nothing. But he also had his son all weekend so I thought he was busy with him. I am not one to constantly text all day and bug the person.

After he got mad at me I told him my side and told him to put himself in my shoes before he got too mad. He didnt respond. Then said he would respond later "when he had a clear head" That was Wednseday.

Chalk it up to a learning experience.

Too bad too because he had seemed like a nice guy lol.

Far too many red flags with this whole story.

I would have never planned on spending an entire day with someone on a first date to begin with. An hour and a half tops - enough time for dinner somewhere and a little talking. Leave him wanting to know more about you.

 

[Diana1180]

But the thing is Friday night when he texted me telling me he had a good time I responded right away that I did also. I also made some stupid comment on one of his FB posts ( I sound liek I am in high school) so he knows I wasnt ignoring him.

Saturday ...nothing...sunday..nothing. But he also had his son all weekend so I thought he was busy with him. I am not one to constantly text all day and bug the person.

After he got mad at me I told him my side and told him to put himself in my shoes before he got too mad. He didnt respond. Then said he would respond later "when he had a clear head" That was Wednseday.

Chalk it up to a learning experience.

Too bad too because he had seemed like a nice guy lol.

Far too many red flags with this whole story.

I would have never planned on spending an entire day with someone on a first date to begin with. An hour and a half tops - enough time for dinner somewhere and a little talking. Leave him wanting to know more about you.

We had lunch a few weeks prior. But have "known" each other for a few years. We have the same social circle.

 

[earlycuyler]

But the thing is Friday night when he texted me telling me he had a good time I responded right away that I did also. I also made some stupid comment on one of his FB posts ( I sound liek I am in high school) so he knows I wasnt ignoring him.

Saturday ...nothing...sunday..nothing. But he also had his son all weekend so I thought he was busy with him. I am not one to constantly text all day and bug the person.

After he got mad at me I told him my side and told him to put himself in my shoes before he got too mad. He didnt respond. Then said he would respond later "when he had a clear head" That was Wednseday.

Chalk it up to a learning experience.

Too bad too because he had seemed like a nice guy lol.

Far too many red flags with this whole story.

I would have never planned on spending an entire day with someone on a first date to begin with. An hour and a half tops - enough time for dinner somewhere and a little talking. Leave him wanting to know more about you.

First two are dinner and or a movie.

 

[High_Gravity]

But the thing is Friday night when he texted me telling me he had a good time I responded right away that I did also. I also made some stupid comment on one of his FB posts ( I sound liek I am in high school) so he knows I wasnt ignoring him.

Saturday ...nothing...sunday..nothing. But he also had his son all weekend so I thought he was busy with him. I am not one to constantly text all day and bug the person.

After he got mad at me I told him my side and told him to put himself in my shoes before he got too mad. He didnt respond. Then said he would respond later "when he had a clear head" That was Wednseday.

Chalk it up to a learning experience.

Too bad too because he had seemed like a nice guy lol.

Far too many red flags with this whole story.

I would have never planned on spending an entire day with someone on a first date to begin with. An hour and a half tops - enough time for dinner somewhere and a little talking. Leave him wanting to know more about you.

We had lunch a few weeks prior. But have "known" each other for a few years. We have the same social circle.

Yeah dating someone you have known for years sounds good in theory but than you start to see things you never seen before like the issue with his ex wife, if your just friends with someone you don't see all the baggage you would see if you were trying to date them, very different dynamics.

 

[Diana1180]

Noted for next time.

His idea so I went with it.

 

[High_Gravity]

But the thing is Friday night when he texted me telling me he had a good time I responded right away that I did also. I also made some stupid comment on one of his FB posts ( I sound liek I am in high school) so he knows I wasnt ignoring him.

Saturday ...nothing...sunday..nothing. But he also had his son all weekend so I thought he was busy with him. I am not one to constantly text all day and bug the person.

After he got mad at me I told him my side and told him to put himself in my shoes before he got too mad. He didnt respond. Then said he would respond later "when he had a clear head" That was Wednseday.

Chalk it up to a learning experience.

Too bad too because he had seemed like a nice guy lol.

Far too many red flags with this whole story.

I would have never planned on spending an entire day with someone on a first date to begin with. An hour and a half tops - enough time for dinner somewhere and a little talking. Leave him wanting to know more about you.

First two are dinner and or a movie.

I took a girl to a movie for a first date once, never again. You don't have time to really speak and get to know each other in a movie.

 

[High_Gravity]

Its a very fine line, this all depends on the person, if you text too soon some people think your too clingy, if you wait too long people assume your not interested, sometimes you can't win. Dating is a loaded mine field, sometimes a small miscommunication can derail things before you even get started but thats life I guess, I've been single 2 years and I have dated alot and had some one night stands but nothing serious, I get derailed before a serious relationship can even start, I don't think I am meant for one, and I cannot keep the married women away from me. 3 of the women I have hooked up with in the past few years have been married.

So true..very fine line.

Dont get me started on the married men lol

I personally think the texting and social media has put more buffers in the way of creating a relationship, instead of just picking up the phone and calling now you have email/instagram/facebook/texting/twitter etc etc etc all of this just gets in the way of getting to know a person imo.

 

[High_Gravity]

Its a very fine line, this all depends on the person, if you text too soon some people think your too clingy, if you wait too long people assume your not interested, sometimes you can't win. Dating is a loaded mine field, sometimes a small miscommunication can derail things before you even get started but thats life I guess, I've been single 2 years and I have dated alot and had some one night stands but nothing serious, I get derailed before a serious relationship can even start, I don't think I am meant for one, and I cannot keep the married women away from me. 3 of the women I have hooked up with in the past few years have been married.

So true..very fine line.

Dont get me started on the married men lol

Makes you wonder if so many married people are talking us singles, maybe the marriage racket isnt all its cracked up to be? the happiest people I know are single.

 

[Diana1180]

Its a very fine line, this all depends on the person, if you text too soon some people think your too clingy, if you wait too long people assume your not interested, sometimes you can't win. Dating is a loaded mine field, sometimes a small miscommunication can derail things before you even get started but thats life I guess, I've been single 2 years and I have dated alot and had some one night stands but nothing serious, I get derailed before a serious relationship can even start, I don't think I am meant for one, and I cannot keep the married women away from me. 3 of the women I have hooked up with in the past few years have been married.

So true..very fine line.

Dont get me started on the married men lol

I personally think the texting and social media has put more buffers in the way of creating a relationship, instead of just picking up the phone and calling now you have email/instagram/facebook/texting/twitter etc etc etc all of this just gets in the way of getting to know a person imo.

Social media....the downfall of society,

I think youre absolutley correct.

 

[Diana1180]

Its a very fine line, this all depends on the person, if you text too soon some people think your too clingy, if you wait too long people assume your not interested, sometimes you can't win. Dating is a loaded mine field, sometimes a small miscommunication can derail things before you even get started but thats life I guess, I've been single 2 years and I have dated alot and had some one night stands but nothing serious, I get derailed before a serious relationship can even start, I don't think I am meant for one, and I cannot keep the married women away from me. 3 of the women I have hooked up with in the past few years have been married.

So true..very fine line.

Dont get me started on the married men lol

Makes you wonder if so many married people are talking us singles, maybe the marriage racket isnt all its cracked up to be? the happiest people I know are single.

Sadly it just makes me think that no one wants a monogomous relationship anymore...and that you cant trust anyone,.

 

[High_Gravity]

So true..very fine line.

Dont get me started on the married men lol

Makes you wonder if so many married people are talking us singles, maybe the marriage racket isnt all its cracked up to be? the happiest people I know are single.

Sadly it just makes me think that no one wants a monogomous relationship anymore...and that you cant trust anyone,.

Managomy is a very difficult concept to grasp, everyone is greedy and wants to have their cake and eat it too, and they want everything to be easy with no work, that includes relationships especially. When it comes to something that needs work **** it throw it out the window.

 

[High_Gravity]

So true..very fine line.

Dont get me started on the married men lol

I personally think the texting and social media has put more buffers in the way of creating a relationship, instead of just picking up the phone and calling now you have email/instagram/facebook/texting/twitter etc etc etc all of this just gets in the way of getting to know a person imo.

Social media....the downfall of society,

I think youre absolutley correct.

Texting and social media has changed the way we interact with each other and not in a good way I think but thats just one of the problems, people want relationships to be easy and convenient for them these days and you very rarely can have it like that.

 

[Samson]

And many times its nice to just be alone.

I'd add that's especially true if you're married.