In other news...

[Carib Gyal]

After cutting a glory hole in the White House fence, President Obama welcomed Fidel Castro to a new beginning with a happy ending.

 

[Ame®icano]

... after cyber attacks and threats, Hollywood has pulled movies which hurt Kim Jong Un's feelings. You'll never work in this town again. Where, Pyongyang?

 

[Ame®icano]

... after five years in communist prison, Alan Gross finds that Che Guevara beat him to his lawyer's office. WTF? Wait that he finds out that Barry is still president.

 

[Ame®icano]

... speaking of Cuba, Red Barry decided to "normalize" relations with Cuban communist regime. It's similar to when the Berlin wall came down, except when that happened East Germans could leave.

Edit: Due to "normalization", US tourists are pouring to Cuba before it gets Americanized. At the other end, Cubans are rushing to US before it start looking like Cuba.

 

[Ame®icano]

... it turns out that Michelle's tale of racism at Target was complete fabrication. She was profiled, vertically.

 

[Carib Gyal]

Despite controversy, and in keeping with his stance on immigration reform, President Obama has signed an executive order to change the opening lines of the national anthem to "Jose, can you flee."

 

[Ame®icano]

... with normalization of US-Cuba relations, Cincinnati Reds will relocate/return to Havana. The best thing is that they can keep their logo and uniform.

 

[Carib Gyal]

President Obama has declared Mexican Jumping Beans a new category in the 2016 Olympics.

 

[Ame®icano]

... Michelle O unwrapped her Christmas present - step ladder.

 

[Ame®icano]

... since Bill Clinton already has a lifetime supply of Viagra, his Christmas gift this year was a lifetime supply of roofies. And a weekend at the Bunny Ranch.

 

[Ame®icano]

... two year plan to "normalize" relations with Cuba includes ending embargo, toppling Castro and replacing him with Harry Reid.

 

[Ame®icano]

... Al Gore and John Kerry called for news conference that will to explain cold weather this week.

 

[Carib Gyal]

In declining to join other world leaders in their unity march for the Charlie Hebdo massacre in France this week, President Obama cited his previous march in support of the protestors in NYC.

 

[Ame®icano]

... ManBearPig seems to disappear at the same time, every year.

 

[Ame®icano]

... new data reveals that nearly 4 million Americans victims of BarryCare may lose their tax refunds this year. If you like your refund... nah.

 

[Ame®icano]

... after over 30 years living on the taxpayer's nickle. Barbara Boxer won't be seeking another senate term. Nancy Pelosi was stunned by the news by showing her stunned face expression.

 

[Ame®icano]

... global warmist Al Gore is in a tizzy over Senators Cruz and Rubio taking over key science committees. Bad news kids, ManBearPig will have to get a real job.

 

[Ame®icano]

... 17-year-old girl diagnosed with cancer is not old enough to refuse chemotherapy. How about nice taxpayer funded abortion instead?

 

[Ame®icano]

... in effort to protect Muslims delicate feelings, the Oxford University Press is banning words related to pigs. Sorry Bill, Hamlet is out.

 

[Ame®icano]

... ethicists agreed that two wrongs do make a right so long as Bush did it first.