Forgiveness

[Truthmatters]

You have to work through the pain involved in a situation before you can achieve that peace from forgiveness.

Otherwise it is intellualized and not real.

 

[Liability]

I just returned from a weekend workshop. We talked about gratitude and forgiveness. I have some new insights about forgiveness and look forward to discussing them with you soon.


Please share your thoughts and feelings about the topic.

Forgiveness cannot be forced, but it can be invited. What's interesting is to examine what isn't willing to forgive inside and to take care of those places.

SkyFi:

It's ok.

I forgive you.

 

[strollingbones]

there are some things that are simply unforgivable....and yes you find yourself on the bitter train a lot....but there are still things that are simply unforgivable....

 

[Sky Dancer]

Forgiveness is not about condoning the action. It's about seeing the humanity in the actor.

 

[Liability]

there are some things that are simply unforgivable....and yes you find yourself on the bitter train a lot....but there are still things that are simply unforgivable....

And I forgive strolling, too!

 

[Sky Dancer]

I just returned from a weekend workshop. We talked about gratitude and forgiveness. I have some new insights about forgiveness and look forward to discussing them with you soon.


Please share your thoughts and feelings about the topic.

Forgiveness cannot be forced, but it can be invited. What's interesting is to examine what isn't willing to forgive inside and to take care of those places.

SkyFi:

It's ok.

I forgive you.

Nice of you to offer, but I hold no grudge with you.

 

[Ava]

"Forgiveness cannot be forced, but it can be invited."

It is often not enough to say, " I am sorry." It is better to say, " I am sorry, will you forgive me?"

That is what I have practiced if I have felt I have offended anyone. Few can say, "no," when you hand them the power and control to make their choice.

Forgiveness is something I do for myself, as well. I don't want to carry that toxic baggage.

Forgiveness does not require an apology. It's helpful to make a sincere apology if one can. But I do not want my forgiveness to come by making conditions for someone else.

"Forgiveness does not require an apology."

I seldom do "anything" relating to interpersonal relationships, because it is "required" of me. I have to want to do them, the way "I" prefer.

 

[Truthmatters]

"Forgiveness is not about condoning the action. It's about seeing the humanity in the actor." Skydancer



Very true.

Its takes a working through the persons emotions about the event for them to be seen as merely a flawed human being who is not completely defined by the act.

 

[strollingbones]

o **** you liability just **** you

i will simply never forgive my mothers siblings...of course they arent gonna ask for forgiveness or anything.....

but i will drive the damn bitter train if i have to....before i forgive them

 

[Liability]

I just returned from a weekend workshop. We talked about gratitude and forgiveness. I have some new insights about forgiveness and look forward to discussing them with you soon.


Please share your thoughts and feelings about the topic.

Forgiveness cannot be forced, but it can be invited. What's interesting is to examine what isn't willing to forgive inside and to take care of those places.

SkyFi:

It's ok.

I forgive you.

Nice of you to offer, but I hold no grudge with you.

I didn't say you forgive me.

I said that I forgive you.

I forgive you for every nasty petty offense and slight you have given.

All washed away.

 

[Sky Dancer]

"Forgiveness cannot be forced, but it can be invited."

It is often not enough to say, " I am sorry." It is better to say, " I am sorry, will you forgive me?"

That is what I have practiced if I have felt I have offended anyone. Few can say, "no," when you hand them the power and control to make their choice.

Forgiveness is something I do for myself, as well. I don't want to carry that toxic baggage.

Forgiveness does not require an apology. It's helpful to make a sincere apology if one can. But I do not want my forgiveness to come by making conditions for someone else.

"Forgiveness does not require an apology."

I seldom do "anything" relating to interpersonal relationships, because it is "required" of me. I have to want to do them, the way "I" prefer.

As far as I'm concerned, apoligies are irrelevant to forgiveness. There is a man I'm thinking of who hurt me and will never apologize. My forgiveness is not dependent on him acknowledging his harmful behavior.

 

[Liability]

o **** you liability just **** you

i will simply never forgive my mothers siblings...of course they arent gonna ask for forgiveness or anything.....

but i will drive the damn bitter train if i have to....before i forgive them

I don't forgive your aunties and uncles, either.

But YOU? You I do forgive.

 

[Si modo]

When I forgive someone, they no longer have any ability to suck any energy from me.

It seems like an obvious choice for me to make.

That's exactly right. What I'm examining is what is going on when I cannot forgive. Forgiveness can't be forced. What happens is there are places inside that need something from me before they can open.

It's me they need it from, not the one who hurt me.

I understand what you mean. Sometimes it's hard to wrap our head around what we can do to help ourselves.

When I find myself stuck like that, I try to tell myself that I am not doing THEM any favor; I am treating myself.

It doesn't excuse what they did. It doesn't mean I will forget what they did. In fact, it means that I have learned a good lesson about them; and that usually involves a loss of trust in them.

Maybe this sort of situation where a person can't find a way to forgive means that they haven't progressed enough in their grief of that loss of trust? Just tossing that out there. Maybe when they process that grief of the loss (trust, or something similar), they can forgive.

But, I wouldn't want to get stuck too long in that grief, either.

Anyway, just a thought.

 

[JP Cusick]

Please share your thoughts and feelings about the topic.

Forgiveness cannot be forced, but it can be invited. What's interesting is to examine what isn't willing to forgive inside and to take care of those places.

My understanding from the Bible is that a person must repent first and then comes forgiveness, and where there is no repentance then there is no forgiveness.

The modern way of claiming to forgive others based on one's own feelings is just rubbish and unhealthy.

As the Bible declares:

Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

Acts 5:31 Him hath God exalted with his right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins.

Acts 8:22 Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.

In the prayer Jesus gave which says = "forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" = that is telling us to pay our own debts.

To forgive is not the end of it, so if we do NOT forgive then we do not have to remain angry or to be hateful or to harm ourselves or harm the other person, but a person who does not repent does not get forgiven.

 

[strollingbones]

i have no aunts or uncles.

 

[Truthmatters]

Please share your thoughts and feelings about the topic.

Forgiveness cannot be forced, but it can be invited. What's interesting is to examine what isn't willing to forgive inside and to take care of those places.

My understanding from the Bible is that a person must repent first and then comes forgiveness, and where there is no repentance then there is no forgiveness.

The modern way of claiming to forgive others based on one's own feelings is just rubbish and unhealthy.

As the Bible declares:

Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

Acts 5:31 Him hath God exalted with his right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins.

Acts 8:22 Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.

In the prayer Jesus gave which says = "forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" = that is telling us to pay our own debts.

To forgive is not the end of it, so if we do NOT forgive then we do not have to remain angry or to be hateful or to harm ourselves or harm the other person, but a person who does not repent does not get forgiven.

People have been forgiving each other since man exsisted.

That is BEFORE your religion exisited and it will happen long after you myths are but a history lesson.

 

[Liability]

i have no aunts or uncles.

Those are the terms for the siblings of one's mother.

Your mother either had siblings or she didn't.

Either way, I refuse to forgive them.

But YOU I forgive. Fully.

 

[Sky Dancer]

When I forgive someone, they no longer have any ability to suck any energy from me.

It seems like an obvious choice for me to make.

That's exactly right. What I'm examining is what is going on when I cannot forgive. Forgiveness can't be forced. What happens is there are places inside that need something from me before they can open.

It's me they need it from, not the one who hurt me.

I understand what you mean. Sometimes it's hard to wrap our head around what we can do to help ourselves.

When I find myself stuck like that, I try to tell myself that I am not doing THEM any favor; I am treating myself.

It doesn't excuse what they did. It doesn't mean I will forget what they did. In fact, it means that I have learned a good lesson about them; and that usually involves a loss of trust in them.

Maybe this sort of situation where a person can't find a way to forgive means that they haven't progressed enough in their grief of that loss of trust? Just tossing that out there. Maybe when they process that grief of the loss (trust, or something similar), they can forgive.

But, I wouldn't want to get stuck too long in that grief, either.

Anyway, just a thought.

Yeah, I agree with you. When I examine the people I have a hard time forgiving, there is always some place that still feels hurt, or wants some kind of resolve from me, to not put myself in a position to be hurt.

Unfortunately, the negative side effect of that, is closing oneself off to others we percieive may hurt us. It's costly, to not forgive.

I really want to free the energy behind holding onto grudges for my own life force longevity.

 

[Truthmatters]

Forgiving (true forgiveness) takes alot of self examination.

 

[Sky Dancer]

SkyFi:

It's ok.

I forgive you.

Nice of you to offer, but I hold no grudge with you.

I didn't say you forgive me.

I said that I forgive you.

I forgive you for every nasty petty offense and slight you have given.

All washed away.

Good for you. Remember, forgiveness is really for YOU. I had no idea you were harboring resentment toward me for some of my posts that offended you.