Christian, how do we genuinely love those we, um, avoid?

[JenT]

Christian, how do we genuinely love those we, um, avoid?

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal (1 Cor 1)

Seriously, I struggle with this at times.

We are commanded to LOVE each other, and that’s usually easy. I just focus on the good traits of others and try my best to ignore the others.

But out of maybe 200 people, there is always one that is just mean-spirited, wants to criticize everybody, always sees the bad, likes to correct everyone, likes to fight, etc. (no I haven't seen this here yet)

If an atheist does this it’s easy to love them because you know they don’t know the Lord. But when it’s a Christian, how do you cope?

Usually I’ll get attacked and I’ll just get into a catfight with ‘em and that pretty much puts up boundaries that I like and we avoid each other. But, um, I don’t think that’s what I’m supposed to do.

So then you try to WALK in the love that you really don’t feel. I’ve seen mature Christians that I admire do this and I respect them SO much. But when I try to do that, it feels fake. It also makes me wonder when I see these wise mature Christians pour their love on me, if they really mean it. Because I know for a fact that some of the times wise elders pour out their love on younger Christians, they KNOW the meanness that particular person just exhibited to someone else.

So my question is, if God tells us to love someone we’re having a hard time loving, do we put our feelings aside and walk the walk? But if the walk isn’t true…

How do you love those you have a hard time loving?

If you are one that actually does this, love on people in spite of how you really feel, please be sure to communicate that because I have often wondered.

 

[AllieBaba]

Think of them as children.

 

[RodISHI]

Just turn, walk away from the type that wishes to flame you and shake the dust off. As you are doing that if you can find it in your heart to do so say a little prayer for the portion them that allows them to have any breath in them. All know prayers in the Word are good.

 

[JenT]

Think of them as children.

yeah, that is excellent advice. Still learning. I seem to lack praying for the people that need it the most. That includes pastors <----always under attack.

 

[Sky Dancer]

How do you love the people you hate? .

Good question.

I think you start with the hate or the anger inside yourself, figure out why you're so angry or hateful--what unmet need is triggering the hate or anger. Then you take care of that need--and make sure it's a need and not a want.

It's a profound practice, those simple commandments of Christ--Love God (whatever that means to you) and Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Treat others the way you want to be treated--with love and compassion whenever possible. And if it's not possible to love someone then love yourself and your imperfections. Start there. I'm talking to myself as much as anyone else.

 

[dilloduck]

Christian, how do we genuinely love those we, um, avoid?

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal (1 Cor 1)

Seriously, I struggle with this at times.

We are commanded to LOVE each other, and that’s usually easy. I just focus on the good traits of others and try my best to ignore the others.

But out of maybe 200 people, there is always one that is just mean-spirited, wants to criticize everybody, always sees the bad, likes to correct everyone, likes to fight, etc. (no I haven't seen this here yet)

If an atheist does this it’s easy to love them because you know they don’t know the Lord. But when it’s a Christian, how do you cope?

Usually I’ll get attacked and I’ll just get into a catfight with ‘em and that pretty much puts up boundaries that I like and we avoid each other. But, um, I don’t think that’s what I’m supposed to do.

So then you try to WALK in the love that you really don’t feel. I’ve seen mature Christians that I admire do this and I respect them SO much. But when I try to do that, it feels fake. It also makes me wonder when I see these wise mature Christians pour their love on me, if they really mean it. Because I know for a fact that some of the times wise elders pour out their love on younger Christians, they KNOW the meanness that particular person just exhibited to someone else.

So my question is, if God tells us to love someone we’re having a hard time loving, do we put our feelings aside and walk the walk? But if the walk isn’t true…

How do you love those you have a hard time loving?

If you are one that actually does this, love on people in spite of how you really feel, please be sure to communicate that because I have often wondered.

Love isn't how you feel --it's what you do.

 

[JBeukema]

Love the sin, hate the sinner

 

[Sky Dancer]

Love the sinner and love that sin! ooowheee

 

[JenT]

Love the sin, hate the sinner

thanks! I needed to smile just now

 

[JenT]

How do you love the people you hate? .

Good question.

I think you start with the hate or the anger inside yourself, figure out why you're so angry or hateful--what unmet need is triggering the hate or anger. Then you take care of that need--and make sure it's a need and not a want.

It's a profound practice, those simple commandments of Christ--Love God (whatever that means to you) and Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Treat others the way you want to be treated--with love and compassion whenever possible. And if it's not possible to love someone then love yourself and your imperfections. Start there. I'm talking to myself as much as anyone else.

I don't hate them, I just get that "ugh" when I see them (thinking of one person in particular here) and I'm expected to fawn over them because they're hurting, but I would really like to bring up how the trashed a half a dozen of my buddies and gossiped about the other half while criticizing everyone on the side, then claiming to know Christ and telling everyone else how to behave.

It's just hard. I know what we are to do, I would just like to be able to honestly be genuine about it and love them.

Only thing I know to do is try to imagine whatever hardships they must have been through that they would be like that.

 

[AllieBaba]

Love them and cut them loose.

 

[dilloduck]

Love them and cut them loose.

cutting them loose may be an act of love in itself

 

[JenT]

Love the sinner and love that sin! ooowheee

 

[Avatar4321]

You use the atonement of Christ to repent of your sins. When you feel the power and love of God you cant help but love others as He does.

 

[AllieBaba]

However we all struggle at times.

 

[Sky Dancer]

How do you love the people you hate? .

Good question.

I think you start with the hate or the anger inside yourself, figure out why you're so angry or hateful--what unmet need is triggering the hate or anger. Then you take care of that need--and make sure it's a need and not a want.

It's a profound practice, those simple commandments of Christ--Love God (whatever that means to you) and Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Treat others the way you want to be treated--with love and compassion whenever possible. And if it's not possible to love someone then love yourself and your imperfections. Start there. I'm talking to myself as much as anyone else.

I don't hate them, I just get that "ugh" when I see them (thinking of one person in particular here) and I'm expected to fawn over them because they're hurting, but I would really like to bring up how the trashed a half a dozen of my buddies and gossiped about the other half while criticizing everyone on the side, then claiming to know Christ and telling everyone else how to behave.

It's just hard. I know what we are to do, I would just like to be able to honestly be genuine about it and love them.

Only thing I know to do is try to imagine whatever hardships they must have been through that they would be like that.

Not everyone is loveable. Psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists for example. They think of others as 'supply'. They are predators. They get off on making others suffer.

Yet, one can in the abstract, 'love' them, in the sense of stay away from them and recognize they have the capacity to be harm doers and haven't much of a choice about it. They are born without conscience.

Imagine that kind of pain, and then STAY AWAY FROM THEM.