After hours of negotiations, democrats approve a list of 10 commandments to be viewed in the classroom.

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10 Commandments Democrats Have Approved For Display In Public Schools
WORLDVIEWS路Jun 21, 2024 路 BabylonBee.com
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In the wake of Louisiana's conflation of Church and State by mandating that the Ten Commandments be posted in every classroom, Democrats offered a compromise, stating that, while the original Ten Commandments are "hateful" and "out-of-date," they would be okay with having an updated version.

The Babylon Bee has obtained exclusive access to the 10 Democrat-Approved Commandments:

  1. Thou shalt have no other gods besides thyself: For your desires take precedence over all.
  2. Thou shalt not misgender thy neighbor in vain: For your teacher shall not you blameless.
  3. Remember to wear skimpy clothes and keep them holey: You shall uncover your nakedness.
  4. Thou shalt honor thy teacher and hate thy transphobic parents: You shall not tell your parents if you decide to chemically alter your body to pretend to be a different gender.
  5. Thou shall not kill the sexual vibe the teacher hath created in the classroom: You shall know every detail of your teacher's sex life, for some reason.
  6. Thou shalt not attain basic literacy: You shall use neither appropriate capitalization nor punctuation of any kind.
  7. Thou shalt hate and bully the straight white male, for he is the worst: Persecute him and bless him not, for his sins are many.
  8. Thou shalt not bear false witness, unless it's against Donald Trump in a court room: In that case, bear away.
  9. Thou shalt not forbid abortion: Offer up your children to Moloch at every opportunity in the name of reproductive rights.
  10. Thou shalt covet thy neighbor's everything: Everything he has should be yours, for he is privileged.


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10 Commandments Democrats Have Approved For Display In Public Schools
WORLDVIEWS路Jun 21, 2024 路 BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

View attachment 965441
In the wake of Louisiana's conflation of Church and State by mandating that the Ten Commandments be posted in every classroom, Democrats offered a compromise, stating that, while the original Ten Commandments are "hateful" and "out-of-date," they would be okay with having an updated version.

The Babylon Bee has obtained exclusive access to the 10 Democrat-Approved Commandments:

  1. Thou shalt have no other gods besides thyself: For your desires take precedence over all.
  2. Thou shalt not misgender thy neighbor in vain: For your teacher shall not you blameless.
  3. Remember to wear skimpy clothes and keep them holey: You shall uncover your nakedness.
  4. Thou shalt honor thy teacher and hate thy transphobic parents: You shall not tell your parents if you decide to chemically alter your body to pretend to be a different gender.
  5. Thou shall not kill the sexual vibe the teacher hath created in the classroom: You shall know every detail of your teacher's sex life, for some reason.
  6. Thou shalt not attain basic literacy: You shall use neither appropriate capitalization nor punctuation of any kind.
  7. Thou shalt hate and bully the straight white male, for he is the worst: Persecute him and bless him not, for his sins are many.
  8. Thou shalt not bear false witness, unless it's against Donald Trump in a court room: In that case, bear away.
  9. Thou shalt not forbid abortion: Offer up your children to Moloch at every opportunity in the name of reproductive rights.
  10. Thou shalt covet thy neighbor's everything: Everything he has should be yours, for he is privileged.


Read Article

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Trump 10 Commandment.jpg
 
10 Commandments Democrats Have Approved For Display In Public Schools
WORLDVIEWS路Jun 21, 2024 路 BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

View attachment 965441
In the wake of Louisiana's conflation of Church and State by mandating that the Ten Commandments be posted in every classroom, Democrats offered a compromise, stating that, while the original Ten Commandments are "hateful" and "out-of-date," they would be okay with having an updated version.

The Babylon Bee has obtained exclusive access to the 10 Democrat-Approved Commandments:

  1. Thou shalt have no other gods besides thyself: For your desires take precedence over all.
  2. Thou shalt not misgender thy neighbor in vain: For your teacher shall not you blameless.
  3. Remember to wear skimpy clothes and keep them holey: You shall uncover your nakedness.
  4. Thou shalt honor thy teacher and hate thy transphobic parents: You shall not tell your parents if you decide to chemically alter your body to pretend to be a different gender.
  5. Thou shall not kill the sexual vibe the teacher hath created in the classroom: You shall know every detail of your teacher's sex life, for some reason.
  6. Thou shalt not attain basic literacy: You shall use neither appropriate capitalization nor punctuation of any kind.
  7. Thou shalt hate and bully the straight white male, for he is the worst: Persecute him and bless him not, for his sins are many.
  8. Thou shalt not bear false witness, unless it's against Donald Trump in a court room: In that case, bear away.
  9. Thou shalt not forbid abortion: Offer up your children to Moloch at every opportunity in the name of reproductive rights.
  10. Thou shalt covet thy neighbor's everything: Everything he has should be yours, for he is privileged.


Read Article

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鉂勶笍
 
MAGA Ten Commandments

1. Thou shall have no Gods before TRUMP
2. Thou shall worship idols such as MAGA Hats, TRUMP Tower, TRUMP Sneakers, TRUMP NFTs, TRUMP Bibles
3. Thou shall accept any false witness by Trump as Gospel
4. Thou shall not take the TRUMP name in vain
5. Thou shall not take a cent from the wealthy
6. Thou shall not take COVID seriously, wear masks or maintain social distance
7. Thou shall build walls to keep out Mexicans
8. Thou shall not offend Putin
9. Thou shall not associate with LGBTQ
10. Black Lives Do Not Matter
 

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