Shame on us All

[Fort Fun Indiana]

So Whoopi should be fired and taken to court?

I have no idea what you are babbling about.

But what we did see here was you going into a tailspin, because someone dared to treat you the way you treat others.

 

[Votto]

So Whoopi should be fired and taken to court?

I have no idea what you are babbling about.

But what we did see here was you going into a tailspin, because someone dared to treat you the way you treat others.

 

[SweetSue92]

Somewhere along the line during the past 50 years or so, "we" as a society have decided that SHAME is an inappropriate emotion and that causing someone to feel shame, intentionally or not, is a cultural "sin," like using a disfavored word (e.g., Oriental, retarded).

So no one is ashamed of using vulgar or crude language among strangers. No is ashamed to be dressed inappropriately for a social occasion. No one is ashamed to be poorly groomed, wearing dirty or worn clothes, or to be wearing "exercise" clothes at inappropriate times and places (e.g., yoga pants to church).

It is a "sin" to say anything that might tend to make one ashamed of being fat, or lazy, or drunk.

And god help you if you say anything or even make a facial expression that might tend to make a single mother, welfare recipient, or the beneficiary of any government program uncomfortable. In fact, the very idea that there is anything to be ashamed about for being "on the dole," or having a kid out of wedlock is culturally obsolete.

There was a germ of sanity and kindness in the original thought that "shame" should not be used as a bludgeon against people, when the reason for shame was totally out of their control. You shouldn't "shame" someone for being short, or ugly, or for having worn out clothes, when that is the result of true poverty. You shouldn't shame someone for their gender, race, color, ethnicity or religion (except Mormons).

But there are things that one should be ashamed of. Few people are fat because of a medical disorder; most cases or morbid obesity are simply a manifestation of failure to control ones appetites and lifestyle. Two generations ago, obesity was rare for both rich and poor, so it ain't genetic. Failure to groom and dress appropriately is entirely within the person's control. The way we talk is entirely within our control. Even uneducated people know that there are many words that are inappropriate for general social interaction with strangers.

Having a child with no husband is usually the result of horrible decision-making at several stages of social interaction, by at least two people. And relying on Government (i.e., Everyone Else) to support you and your offspring is absolutely disgraceful conduct. No shame? Are you kidding me?

It is shameful that we have abandoned the constructive use of shame.

Actually you went astray there in your first paragraph. We are a culture steeped in shame--it's just changed shape. No one seems to feel shame for using profanity these days, but accidentally be out of step by using a racial slur and you'll know what shame is. Or a microaggression. Same with clothes. No one cares about yoga pants, but wear a sombrero to a Halloween party and find out what happens.

I think we love shame more than ever, actually--shame is an effective weapon for the Church of Social Justice. After all, they're not so great at mercy, forgiveness, or absolution. Shame is...well...the name of the game, actually.