People Are Not Born Gay

[80zephyr]

Is it hard for me to believe? Hell, even the gays admit they aren't monogamous.

How Do Gays Crack the Monogamy Code Tyler Curry

Is it possible for two gay men to be in a long-term relationship and remain monogamous?
The short answer? Of course it is. But for the frustrated but hopeful "monogay," it often seems nearly impossible to find a homo couple who have surpassed the five-year mark without opening up their relationship in one way or another. Naturally, each couple is different, complete with a brow-furrowing set of rules that they have constructed over the years. Whether its "playing" as a couple only or allowing for out-of-town flings or no-kissing-allowed or sexual-position-specific extracurricular hookups, one thing is for certain: Monogamy it is not.

And the part that upsets me the most, I mean, if you want society to allow you to marry, the least you could do is abide by society's definition of marriage. Even that is too much to ask, it seems.


There is no societal or religious pressure, no relationship archetype or historical expectation for a gay man to be monogamously coupled. Unlike heterosexual relationships, gay relationships form simply because two people want to be together. A heterosexual union may be rooted in religious and cultural bylaws that reinforce monogamy long after the excitement has left the bedroom. Straight couples are forced to push past the immediate gratification of sexual desire and find more meaningful forms of pleasure and release. If they give into the carnal pleasures of sex outside monogamy, they risk the chance of losing their coveted place among the moral elite.
Of course, gay couples were never considered equal to their heterosexual brethren -- not even closely related. In fact, a homosexual relationship is possibly the antithesis of what a monogamous union should be by most traditional standards, an abomination of the sacred "one-man-one-woman" mold. Therefore, the gatekeepers of these standards did not hold gay men accountable to same societal norms and expectations that are the foundation for the modern family.

They want "marriage" on their terms. That's bullshit.

Mark

The author makes some interesting points but he isn't the final word when it comes to monogamy in the gay community. Most people want marriage on their terms. It is why arranged marriages are not as common in this nation as there were in the past. If married couples; gay or straight, want to open their marriage and they both agree to the terms then have it. That is not my cup tea though. Monogamy isn't just an issue of the gay community. Heterosexuals seem to have this problem as well.

I don't discuss this often because it is really isn't anyone's business but I feel it is important while discussing this topic. I am a gay man and I've been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for almost 14 years now. I've never subscribed to the hook-up culture because when I was growing up I was inundated with news of the devastating effects of AIDS and it terrified me greatly. I started dating my husband when I was a freshman in college and I have remained faithfully this entire. Some people take their vows more seriously then others and I would never do anything to dishonor myself or my husband.

I applaud you fro your efforts. However, like I stated earlier, I have been researching this subject for years. I have NEVER read even one article that shows gay men to be monogamous in any significant numbers.

If anyone has one, I would be glad to look at it.

BTW, in all of my forum travels, I will say that gay men tend to debate this subject with more logic than their straight supporters do.

Mark

Some people; gay or straights, do not place a high value on monogamy. I am not one of those people. I am from a different school of thought regarding this issue. Being promiscuous isn't exactly a compelling reason to deny gays marriage.

I disagree. Monogamy IS marriage. That gays want marriage ON THEIR terms is a slap in the face to our traditions.

If they want marriage on their terms, why have marriage at all? I mean, just what is marriage without monogamy?

Nothing.

Mark

No matter how many times I post this, not one phobe has had the courage or integrity to address it. FACT is, traditions change. Society changes.

Or are you willing to say which of these "traditions" you think should not have been changed?

Whats there to address? Its apples and oranges.

Mark

 

[bodecea]

Is it hard for me to believe? Hell, even the gays admit they aren't monogamous.

How Do Gays Crack the Monogamy Code Tyler Curry

Is it possible for two gay men to be in a long-term relationship and remain monogamous?
The short answer? Of course it is. But for the frustrated but hopeful "monogay," it often seems nearly impossible to find a homo couple who have surpassed the five-year mark without opening up their relationship in one way or another. Naturally, each couple is different, complete with a brow-furrowing set of rules that they have constructed over the years. Whether its "playing" as a couple only or allowing for out-of-town flings or no-kissing-allowed or sexual-position-specific extracurricular hookups, one thing is for certain: Monogamy it is not.

And the part that upsets me the most, I mean, if you want society to allow you to marry, the least you could do is abide by society's definition of marriage. Even that is too much to ask, it seems.


There is no societal or religious pressure, no relationship archetype or historical expectation for a gay man to be monogamously coupled. Unlike heterosexual relationships, gay relationships form simply because two people want to be together. A heterosexual union may be rooted in religious and cultural bylaws that reinforce monogamy long after the excitement has left the bedroom. Straight couples are forced to push past the immediate gratification of sexual desire and find more meaningful forms of pleasure and release. If they give into the carnal pleasures of sex outside monogamy, they risk the chance of losing their coveted place among the moral elite.
Of course, gay couples were never considered equal to their heterosexual brethren -- not even closely related. In fact, a homosexual relationship is possibly the antithesis of what a monogamous union should be by most traditional standards, an abomination of the sacred "one-man-one-woman" mold. Therefore, the gatekeepers of these standards did not hold gay men accountable to same societal norms and expectations that are the foundation for the modern family.

They want "marriage" on their terms. That's bullshit.

Mark

The author makes some interesting points but he isn't the final word when it comes to monogamy in the gay community. Most people want marriage on their terms. It is why arranged marriages are not as common in this nation as there were in the past. If married couples; gay or straight, want to open their marriage and they both agree to the terms then have it. That is not my cup tea though. Monogamy isn't just an issue of the gay community. Heterosexuals seem to have this problem as well.

I don't discuss this often because it is really isn't anyone's business but I feel it is important while discussing this topic. I am a gay man and I've been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for almost 14 years now. I've never subscribed to the hook-up culture because when I was growing up I was inundated with news of the devastating effects of AIDS and it terrified me greatly. I started dating my husband when I was a freshman in college and I have remained faithfully this entire. Some people take their vows more seriously then others and I would never do anything to dishonor myself or my husband.

I applaud you fro your efforts. However, like I stated earlier, I have been researching this subject for years. I have NEVER read even one article that shows gay men to be monogamous in any significant numbers.

If anyone has one, I would be glad to look at it.

BTW, in all of my forum travels, I will say that gay men tend to debate this subject with more logic than their straight supporters do.

Mark

Some people; gay or straights, do not place a high value on monogamy. I am not one of those people. I am from a different school of thought regarding this issue. Being promiscuous isn't exactly a compelling reason to deny gays marriage.

I disagree. Monogamy IS marriage. That gays want marriage ON THEIR terms is a slap in the face to our traditions.

If they want marriage on their terms, why have marriage at all? I mean, just what is marriage without monogamy?

Nothing.

Mark

Some straight married couples do not practice monogamy or have "open marriages" as well. Monogamy in marriage doesn't have an exactly wonderful record throughout it's history, so this appeal to tradition is faulty on it's face considering history is rife with infidelity.

It always amazes me, the stupidity of an argument against gay marriage (which encourages monogamy) because gays are too promiscuous.

 

[Esmeralda]

Promiscuous and indiscriminate sex is dangerous regardless of the sexuality of the person.

Correct. But, now logic kicks in. If the gays, with 2% of the population, account for 70% of sexual diseases, can we now assume that not only is the practice of indiscriminate sex dangerous, but they are predisposed to that activity?

And, since they are, that gay sex is a danger just like alcohol and drugs?

Mark

And Lesbians have a lower % of STDs, particularly AIDS than anyone else. So...we should be the only ones who can legally marry using your logic.

Yes, if marriage was to bond any two humans together. Its not....

Mark

WHY one chooses to marry is no more the business of society, church, govt, meddlers, than the WHO.

If the goal is to cheapen marriage, and destroy the family unit, you are correct.

Do you want to be correct?

Mark

The idea of cheapening marriage is an emotional idea. About 50 percent of heterosexuals cheapen marriage by the way they function within a marriage and end up divorcing. Modern day life has made marriage something that is far less than sacred, and it has not been made that way by gays.

 

[bodecea]

Correct. But, now logic kicks in. If the gays, with 2% of the population, account for 70% of sexual diseases, can we now assume that not only is the practice of indiscriminate sex dangerous, but they are predisposed to that activity?

And, since they are, that gay sex is a danger just like alcohol and drugs?

Mark

And Lesbians have a lower % of STDs, particularly AIDS than anyone else. So...we should be the only ones who can legally marry using your logic.

Yes, if marriage was to bond any two humans together. Its not....

Mark

WHY one chooses to marry is no more the business of society, church, govt, meddlers, than the WHO.

If the goal is to cheapen marriage, and destroy the family unit, you are correct.

Do you want to be correct?

Mark

The idea of cheapening marriage is an emotional idea. About 50 percent of heterosexuals cheapen marriage by the way the function within a marriage and end up divorcing. Modern day life has made marriage something that is far less than sacred, and it has not been made that way by gays.

I find that all those drive thru wedding chapels in Vegas cheapen marriage. Why aren't THEY illegal?

 

[bodecea]

I have studied this subject a very long time. Gay men have no want to "settle down". It is my belief that being promiscuous is part and parcel of being a gay man. It s not just the sexuality in this case that makes men gay.The statistics are overwhelmingly in favor of my viewpoint.

Mark

I am not disagree with the alarmingly high rate of STDs among the gay community. It is a very grave concern. I know many gay people; male and female, that are in long term monogamous relationships and that is what should be encouraged. Promiscuity is like playing Russian Roulette with your health.

You "know" they are being monogamous? Or is that your guess?

From all of my reading, gay men are not monogamous, while lesbians are better at it than even straight couples.

The problem with lesbians is that since they are women, they divorce. About 75% of all marriage that end in divorce is because the woman filed for it.

Now, you have TWO women married.

Tick, tick, tick...only a matter of time.

Mark

I know this because they are some of very best friends. Of course, I don't know for an absolute fact that they are monogamous but I am almost certain. The only person I know for a 100% fact that is monogamous is myself. Is it really that hard for you believe that gay people can be in monogamous relationship?

Divorce is an issue regardless of sexuality.

Is it hard for me to believe? Hell, even the gays admit they aren't monogamous.

How Do Gays Crack the Monogamy Code Tyler Curry

Is it possible for two gay men to be in a long-term relationship and remain monogamous?
The short answer? Of course it is. But for the frustrated but hopeful "monogay," it often seems nearly impossible to find a homo couple who have surpassed the five-year mark without opening up their relationship in one way or another. Naturally, each couple is different, complete with a brow-furrowing set of rules that they have constructed over the years. Whether its "playing" as a couple only or allowing for out-of-town flings or no-kissing-allowed or sexual-position-specific extracurricular hookups, one thing is for certain: Monogamy it is not.

And the part that upsets me the most, I mean, if you want society to allow you to marry, the least you could do is abide by society's definition of marriage. Even that is too much to ask, it seems.


There is no societal or religious pressure, no relationship archetype or historical expectation for a gay man to be monogamously coupled. Unlike heterosexual relationships, gay relationships form simply because two people want to be together. A heterosexual union may be rooted in religious and cultural bylaws that reinforce monogamy long after the excitement has left the bedroom. Straight couples are forced to push past the immediate gratification of sexual desire and find more meaningful forms of pleasure and release. If they give into the carnal pleasures of sex outside monogamy, they risk the chance of losing their coveted place among the moral elite.
Of course, gay couples were never considered equal to their heterosexual brethren -- not even closely related. In fact, a homosexual relationship is possibly the antithesis of what a monogamous union should be by most traditional standards, an abomination of the sacred "one-man-one-woman" mold. Therefore, the gatekeepers of these standards did not hold gay men accountable to same societal norms and expectations that are the foundation for the modern family.

They want "marriage" on their terms. That's bullshit.

Mark

The author makes some interesting points but he isn't the final word when it comes to monogamy in the gay community. Most people want marriage on their terms. It is why arranged marriages are not as common in this nation as there were in the past. If married couples; gay or straight, want to open their marriage and they both agree to the terms then have it. That is not my cup tea though. Monogamy isn't just an issue of the gay community. Heterosexuals seem to have this problem as well.

I don't discuss this often because it is really isn't anyone's business but I feel it is important while discussing this topic. I am a gay man and I've been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for almost 14 years now. I've never subscribed to the hook-up culture because when I was growing up I was inundated with news of the devastating effects of AIDS and it terrified me greatly. I started dating my husband when I was a freshman in college and I have remained faithfully this entire. Some people take their vows more seriously then others and I would never do anything to dishonor myself or my husband.

What you say is true. Some people take their vows seriously....some not so much. And that is in ALL communities.

One thing I remember when the AIDS crisis hit and some married sailors were picking up HIV in Asia and passing it on to their wives, that the one thing people lie about more than anything else is Sex.

 

[Darlene]

Yes, being prejudiced against homosexuality is a choice. It is a stupid choice, of course, because it is so arbitrary, and cannot withstand any rigors of inquiry as to WHY it is wrong any better than similar prejudices once held against being left handed.

"It's icky because people say it's icky and because people say it's icky, it's icky" doesn't cut it by way of argumentation. Such circular arguments are the stuff of children. The onus is upon all the bigots to explain WHY homosexuality consumes their thoughts to such an extent that they go on and on and one with their hatred of it. Is it inherently harmful? Does it involve coercion? Is it exploitative? Unless the answers are yes, there is absolutely no reason for the prejudice other than as opinions that have been taught but never questioned.

Similar

I could care less if its "icky". Fact is, gay "sex" is dangerous. Do you also think that drug users and alcoholics should be celebrated in this country?

I mean, not only allow it, but condone it?

Mark

Any type of sex, whether it be "gay" or hetero, can be dangerous. It's not about whether it's two vaginas or two penises that makes it a danger. It's the all-around lifestyle of each person---not just their sexuality.

 

[bodecea]

I know this because they are some of very best friends. Of course, I don't know for an absolute fact that they are monogamous but I am almost certain. The only person I know for a 100% fact that is monogamous is myself. Is it really that hard for you believe that gay people can be in monogamous relationship?

Divorce is an issue regardless of sexuality.

Is it hard for me to believe? Hell, even the gays admit they aren't monogamous.

How Do Gays Crack the Monogamy Code Tyler Curry

Is it possible for two gay men to be in a long-term relationship and remain monogamous?
The short answer? Of course it is. But for the frustrated but hopeful "monogay," it often seems nearly impossible to find a homo couple who have surpassed the five-year mark without opening up their relationship in one way or another. Naturally, each couple is different, complete with a brow-furrowing set of rules that they have constructed over the years. Whether its "playing" as a couple only or allowing for out-of-town flings or no-kissing-allowed or sexual-position-specific extracurricular hookups, one thing is for certain: Monogamy it is not.

And the part that upsets me the most, I mean, if you want society to allow you to marry, the least you could do is abide by society's definition of marriage. Even that is too much to ask, it seems.


There is no societal or religious pressure, no relationship archetype or historical expectation for a gay man to be monogamously coupled. Unlike heterosexual relationships, gay relationships form simply because two people want to be together. A heterosexual union may be rooted in religious and cultural bylaws that reinforce monogamy long after the excitement has left the bedroom. Straight couples are forced to push past the immediate gratification of sexual desire and find more meaningful forms of pleasure and release. If they give into the carnal pleasures of sex outside monogamy, they risk the chance of losing their coveted place among the moral elite.
Of course, gay couples were never considered equal to their heterosexual brethren -- not even closely related. In fact, a homosexual relationship is possibly the antithesis of what a monogamous union should be by most traditional standards, an abomination of the sacred "one-man-one-woman" mold. Therefore, the gatekeepers of these standards did not hold gay men accountable to same societal norms and expectations that are the foundation for the modern family.

They want "marriage" on their terms. That's bullshit.

Mark

The author makes some interesting points but he isn't the final word when it comes to monogamy in the gay community. Most people want marriage on their terms. It is why arranged marriages are not as common in this nation as there were in the past. If married couples; gay or straight, want to open their marriage and they both agree to the terms then have it. That is not my cup tea though. Monogamy isn't just an issue of the gay community. Heterosexuals seem to have this problem as well.

I don't discuss this often because it is really isn't anyone's business but I feel it is important while discussing this topic. I am a gay man and I've been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for almost 14 years now. I've never subscribed to the hook-up culture because when I was growing up I was inundated with news of the devastating effects of AIDS and it terrified me greatly. I started dating my husband when I was a freshman in college and I have remained faithfully this entire. Some people take their vows more seriously then others and I would never do anything to dishonor myself or my husband.

I applaud you fro your efforts. However, like I stated earlier, I have been researching this subject for years. I have NEVER read even one article that shows gay men to be monogamous in any significant numbers.

If anyone has one, I would be glad to look at it.

BTW, in all of my forum travels, I will say that gay men tend to debate this subject with more logic than their straight supporters do.

Mark

Some people; gay or straights, do not place a high value on monogamy. I am not one of those people. I am from a different school of thought regarding this issue. Being promiscuous isn't exactly a compelling reason to deny gays marriage.

I disagree. Monogamy IS marriage. That gays want marriage ON THEIR terms is a slap in the face to our traditions.

If they want marriage on their terms, why have marriage at all? I mean, just what is marriage without monogamy?

Nothing.

Mark

Where do you get off presuming that gays wanting to marry aren't wanting to be monogamous?

 

[bodecea]

Yes, being prejudiced against homosexuality is a choice. It is a stupid choice, of course, because it is so arbitrary, and cannot withstand any rigors of inquiry as to WHY it is wrong any better than similar prejudices once held against being left handed.

"It's icky because people say it's icky and because people say it's icky, it's icky" doesn't cut it by way of argumentation. Such circular arguments are the stuff of children. The onus is upon all the bigots to explain WHY homosexuality consumes their thoughts to such an extent that they go on and on and one with their hatred of it. Is it inherently harmful? Does it involve coercion? Is it exploitative? Unless the answers are yes, there is absolutely no reason for the prejudice other than as opinions that have been taught but never questioned.

Similar

I could care less if its "icky". Fact is, gay "sex" is dangerous. Do you also think that drug users and alcoholics should be celebrated in this country?

I mean, not only allow it, but condone it?

Mark

So.....you want the government to control what kind of sex people have. Interesting there, Adolf.

Who said that? I say, if gays want to have sex, do it. I will also say, that society has a responsibility not to legitimize any action that is harmful to its participants.

Or, do you think we should have an "alcoholics" day as well?

Mark

We have several: St. Patricks Day, New Years Eve, Cinco de Mayo.......but why do you go to the EXTREME....millions of people drink alcohol and they are not all alcoholics. Alcohol is legal. People who drink alcohol are allowed to marry. Heck....alcoholics are allowed to marry.........tho there is a lot more concrete evidence that being an alcoholic is harmful to family stability. Why haven't you come out against legalized marriage for alcoholics?

We do not have "alcoholics" day. Your comparisons to celebrations is...inane.

As is your comparison to alcoholics marrying. The BASIS of marriage is sexuality, not alcoholism.

Mark

Ok, play dumb. Or else you haven't studied St. Patricks Day, New Years Day, Cinco de Mayo....I'll even add in the Super Bowl....as long a time as you claim to have studied gays.

 

[bodecea]

Monogamous sex is something that should be encouraged. This hook-up culture among gays and straights is causing the rising STD rates. If anything you should be encouraging gays to settle down and get married.

I have studied this subject a very long time. Gay men have no want to "settle down". It is my belief that being promiscuous is part and parcel of being a gay man. It s not just the sexuality in this case that makes men gay.The statistics are overwhelmingly in favor of my viewpoint.

Mark

Do tell.

Yes. Is this where you now accuse me of being a closet gay? Lol. Like I said, it is always "kill the messenger".

Maybe you can get me a link to disprove what I have said?

Mark

Why are you overly sensitive over your own words? "I have studied this subject for a very long time."

Sensitive? No. Psychic.

Mark

Oh...you've studied "this subject" for a very long time AND you're psychic.

 

[80zephyr]

Is it hard for me to believe? Hell, even the gays admit they aren't monogamous.

How Do Gays Crack the Monogamy Code Tyler Curry

Is it possible for two gay men to be in a long-term relationship and remain monogamous?
The short answer? Of course it is. But for the frustrated but hopeful "monogay," it often seems nearly impossible to find a homo couple who have surpassed the five-year mark without opening up their relationship in one way or another. Naturally, each couple is different, complete with a brow-furrowing set of rules that they have constructed over the years. Whether its "playing" as a couple only or allowing for out-of-town flings or no-kissing-allowed or sexual-position-specific extracurricular hookups, one thing is for certain: Monogamy it is not.

And the part that upsets me the most, I mean, if you want society to allow you to marry, the least you could do is abide by society's definition of marriage. Even that is too much to ask, it seems.


There is no societal or religious pressure, no relationship archetype or historical expectation for a gay man to be monogamously coupled. Unlike heterosexual relationships, gay relationships form simply because two people want to be together. A heterosexual union may be rooted in religious and cultural bylaws that reinforce monogamy long after the excitement has left the bedroom. Straight couples are forced to push past the immediate gratification of sexual desire and find more meaningful forms of pleasure and release. If they give into the carnal pleasures of sex outside monogamy, they risk the chance of losing their coveted place among the moral elite.
Of course, gay couples were never considered equal to their heterosexual brethren -- not even closely related. In fact, a homosexual relationship is possibly the antithesis of what a monogamous union should be by most traditional standards, an abomination of the sacred "one-man-one-woman" mold. Therefore, the gatekeepers of these standards did not hold gay men accountable to same societal norms and expectations that are the foundation for the modern family.

They want "marriage" on their terms. That's bullshit.

Mark

The author makes some interesting points but he isn't the final word when it comes to monogamy in the gay community. Most people want marriage on their terms. It is why arranged marriages are not as common in this nation as there were in the past. If married couples; gay or straight, want to open their marriage and they both agree to the terms then have it. That is not my cup tea though. Monogamy isn't just an issue of the gay community. Heterosexuals seem to have this problem as well.

I don't discuss this often because it is really isn't anyone's business but I feel it is important while discussing this topic. I am a gay man and I've been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for almost 14 years now. I've never subscribed to the hook-up culture because when I was growing up I was inundated with news of the devastating effects of AIDS and it terrified me greatly. I started dating my husband when I was a freshman in college and I have remained faithfully this entire. Some people take their vows more seriously then others and I would never do anything to dishonor myself or my husband.

I applaud you fro your efforts. However, like I stated earlier, I have been researching this subject for years. I have NEVER read even one article that shows gay men to be monogamous in any significant numbers.

If anyone has one, I would be glad to look at it.

BTW, in all of my forum travels, I will say that gay men tend to debate this subject with more logic than their straight supporters do.

Mark

Some people; gay or straights, do not place a high value on monogamy. I am not one of those people. I am from a different school of thought regarding this issue. Being promiscuous isn't exactly a compelling reason to deny gays marriage.

I disagree. Monogamy IS marriage. That gays want marriage ON THEIR terms is a slap in the face to our traditions.

If they want marriage on their terms, why have marriage at all? I mean, just what is marriage without monogamy?

Nothing.

Mark

Some straight married couples do not practice monogamy or have "open marriages" as well. Monogamy in marriage doesn't have an exactly wonderful record throughout it's history, so this appeal to tradition is faulty on it's face considering history is rife with infidelity.

Like I said, I have studied this a long time

A statement by the Royal College of Psychiatrists that people are not born gay has been welcomed as "a major admission" by a Christian charity that helps men and women change unwanted same-sex feelings.
Core Issues Trust (CIT), which is campaigning against a ban on therapy being offered to people who want to move away from a homosexual lifestyle, says the latest statement by the Royal College admits what it previously denied
People Are Not Born Gay Affirms Royal College of Psychiatrists

Yep, even if it was genetic, it is still your choice to have same-sex pleasure or not. Anyone and everyone has a choice. Say yes or say no. It is really that simple...BUT queers choose to suck each other's dicks

Does that mean there is a chance you will fall in love with a man?

Maybe. Recently in a "Dear Abby" column, a widowed man with grown children wrote and said he was having sexual feelings for another man. Said he was happily married and that thought never crossed his mind before.

I will say this. The human mind can rationalize ANYTHING.

There is also a fairly high incidence of lesbians becoming straight, so yeah, change happens.

Mark

OH well! If it was in Dear Abby.

Why do your work for you? If you really were interested in the truth, you would do your own research.

You aren't are you?

Mark

I am lesbian. I am married and have been for over 25 years. Most of my gay friends are married. How many real gay acquaintances do YOU have?

A shit ton. One of the benefits of growing up and owing a tavern. Best girls softball team we ever had was comprised almost exclusively of lesbians.

Mark

 

[80zephyr]

Correct. But, now logic kicks in. If the gays, with 2% of the population, account for 70% of sexual diseases, can we now assume that not only is the practice of indiscriminate sex dangerous, but they are predisposed to that activity?

And, since they are, that gay sex is a danger just like alcohol and drugs?

Mark

Monogamous sex is something that should be encouraged. This hook-up culture among gays and straights is causing the rising STD rates. If anything you should be encouraging gays to settle down and get married.

I have studied this subject a very long time. Gay men have no want to "settle down". It is my belief that being promiscuous is part and parcel of being a gay man. It s not just the sexuality in this case that makes men gay.The statistics are overwhelmingly in favor of my viewpoint.

Mark

Do tell.

Yes. Is this where you now accuse me of being a closet gay? Lol. Like I said, it is always "kill the messenger".

Maybe you can get me a link to disprove what I have said?

Mark

And, there it is folx.

Every damn time.

Yep. Its been my experience.

Mark

 

[Moonglow]

The author makes some interesting points but he isn't the final word when it comes to monogamy in the gay community. Most people want marriage on their terms. It is why arranged marriages are not as common in this nation as there were in the past. If married couples; gay or straight, want to open their marriage and they both agree to the terms then have it. That is not my cup tea though. Monogamy isn't just an issue of the gay community. Heterosexuals seem to have this problem as well.

I don't discuss this often because it is really isn't anyone's business but I feel it is important while discussing this topic. I am a gay man and I've been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for almost 14 years now. I've never subscribed to the hook-up culture because when I was growing up I was inundated with news of the devastating effects of AIDS and it terrified me greatly. I started dating my husband when I was a freshman in college and I have remained faithfully this entire. Some people take their vows more seriously then others and I would never do anything to dishonor myself or my husband.

I applaud you fro your efforts. However, like I stated earlier, I have been researching this subject for years. I have NEVER read even one article that shows gay men to be monogamous in any significant numbers.

If anyone has one, I would be glad to look at it.

BTW, in all of my forum travels, I will say that gay men tend to debate this subject with more logic than their straight supporters do.

Mark

Some people; gay or straights, do not place a high value on monogamy. I am not one of those people. I am from a different school of thought regarding this issue. Being promiscuous isn't exactly a compelling reason to deny gays marriage.

I disagree. Monogamy IS marriage. That gays want marriage ON THEIR terms is a slap in the face to our traditions.

If they want marriage on their terms, why have marriage at all? I mean, just what is marriage without monogamy?

Nothing.

Mark

Some straight married couples do not practice monogamy or have "open marriages" as well. Monogamy in marriage doesn't have an exactly wonderful record throughout it's history, so this appeal to tradition is faulty on it's face considering history is rife with infidelity.

Like I said, I have studied this a long time

Does that mean there is a chance you will fall in love with a man?

Maybe. Recently in a "Dear Abby" column, a widowed man with grown children wrote and said he was having sexual feelings for another man. Said he was happily married and that thought never crossed his mind before.

I will say this. The human mind can rationalize ANYTHING.

There is also a fairly high incidence of lesbians becoming straight, so yeah, change happens.

Mark

OH well! If it was in Dear Abby.

Why do your work for you? If you really were interested in the truth, you would do your own research.

You aren't are you?

Mark

I am lesbian. I am married and have been for over 25 years. Most of my gay friends are married. How many real gay acquaintances do YOU have?

A shit ton. One of the benefits of growing up and owing a tavern. Best girls softball team we ever had was comprised almost exclusively of lesbians.

Mark

How much do you owe the tavern?

 

[mdk]

The author makes some interesting points but he isn't the final word when it comes to monogamy in the gay community. Most people want marriage on their terms. It is why arranged marriages are not as common in this nation as there were in the past. If married couples; gay or straight, want to open their marriage and they both agree to the terms then have it. That is not my cup tea though. Monogamy isn't just an issue of the gay community. Heterosexuals seem to have this problem as well.

I don't discuss this often because it is really isn't anyone's business but I feel it is important while discussing this topic. I am a gay man and I've been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for almost 14 years now. I've never subscribed to the hook-up culture because when I was growing up I was inundated with news of the devastating effects of AIDS and it terrified me greatly. I started dating my husband when I was a freshman in college and I have remained faithfully this entire. Some people take their vows more seriously then others and I would never do anything to dishonor myself or my husband.

I applaud you fro your efforts. However, like I stated earlier, I have been researching this subject for years. I have NEVER read even one article that shows gay men to be monogamous in any significant numbers.

If anyone has one, I would be glad to look at it.

BTW, in all of my forum travels, I will say that gay men tend to debate this subject with more logic than their straight supporters do.

Mark

Some people; gay or straights, do not place a high value on monogamy. I am not one of those people. I am from a different school of thought regarding this issue. Being promiscuous isn't exactly a compelling reason to deny gays marriage.

I disagree. Monogamy IS marriage. That gays want marriage ON THEIR terms is a slap in the face to our traditions.

If they want marriage on their terms, why have marriage at all? I mean, just what is marriage without monogamy?

Nothing.

Mark

Some straight married couples do not practice monogamy or have "open marriages" as well. Monogamy in marriage doesn't have an exactly wonderful record throughout it's history, so this appeal to tradition is faulty on it's face considering history is rife with infidelity.

It always amazes me, the stupidity of an argument against gay marriage (which encourages monogamy) because gays are too promiscuous.

It is nothing more than a last ditch attempt to deny gays marriage. Even the anti-gay marriage side is not making these types of arguments in court. Gays are promiscuous so they should be denied marriage is one of the weaker arguments I've encountered when discussing this topic. It isn't a very compelling argument.

 

[80zephyr]

I have studied this subject a very long time. Gay men have no want to "settle down". It is my belief that being promiscuous is part and parcel of being a gay man. It s not just the sexuality in this case that makes men gay.The statistics are overwhelmingly in favor of my viewpoint.

Mark

Do tell.

Yes. Is this where you now accuse me of being a closet gay? Lol. Like I said, it is always "kill the messenger".

Maybe you can get me a link to disprove what I have said?

Mark

Why are you overly sensitive over your own words? "I have studied this subject for a very long time."

Sensitive? No. Psychic.

Mark

Oh...you've studied "this subject" for a very long time AND you're psychic.

I have never been in a debate where that wasn't brought up. Never. I suppose I wasn't really being psychic. Just being a step or two ahead of the crowd.

Why do you harp on me studying the "subject"? Do people who study bother you somehow?

Maybe you should try it sometime.

Mark

 

[80zephyr]

I applaud you fro your efforts. However, like I stated earlier, I have been researching this subject for years. I have NEVER read even one article that shows gay men to be monogamous in any significant numbers.

If anyone has one, I would be glad to look at it.

BTW, in all of my forum travels, I will say that gay men tend to debate this subject with more logic than their straight supporters do.

Mark

Some people; gay or straights, do not place a high value on monogamy. I am not one of those people. I am from a different school of thought regarding this issue. Being promiscuous isn't exactly a compelling reason to deny gays marriage.

I disagree. Monogamy IS marriage. That gays want marriage ON THEIR terms is a slap in the face to our traditions.

If they want marriage on their terms, why have marriage at all? I mean, just what is marriage without monogamy?

Nothing.

Mark

Some straight married couples do not practice monogamy or have "open marriages" as well. Monogamy in marriage doesn't have an exactly wonderful record throughout it's history, so this appeal to tradition is faulty on it's face considering history is rife with infidelity.

Like I said, I have studied this a long time

Maybe. Recently in a "Dear Abby" column, a widowed man with grown children wrote and said he was having sexual feelings for another man. Said he was happily married and that thought never crossed his mind before.

I will say this. The human mind can rationalize ANYTHING.

There is also a fairly high incidence of lesbians becoming straight, so yeah, change happens.

Mark

OH well! If it was in Dear Abby.

Why do your work for you? If you really were interested in the truth, you would do your own research.

You aren't are you?

Mark

I am lesbian. I am married and have been for over 25 years. Most of my gay friends are married. How many real gay acquaintances do YOU have?

A shit ton. One of the benefits of growing up and owing a tavern. Best girls softball team we ever had was comprised almost exclusively of lesbians.

Mark

How much do you owe the tavern?

What do you mean "how much"?

Mark

 

[Darlene]

Live and let live. If it doesn't involve you DIRECTLY, don't fucking worry about it.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Yes, being prejudiced against homosexuality is a choice. It is a stupid choice, of course, because it is so arbitrary, and cannot withstand any rigors of inquiry as to WHY it is wrong any better than similar prejudices once held against being left handed.

"It's icky because people say it's icky and because people say it's icky, it's icky" doesn't cut it by way of argumentation. Such circular arguments are the stuff of children. The onus is upon all the bigots to explain WHY homosexuality consumes their thoughts to such an extent that they go on and on and one with their hatred of it. Is it inherently harmful? Does it involve coercion? Is it exploitative? Unless the answers are yes, there is absolutely no reason for the prejudice other than as opinions that have been taught but never questioned.

Similar

I could care less if its "icky". Fact is, gay "sex" is dangerous. Do you also think that drug users and alcoholics should be celebrated in this country?

I mean, not only allow it, but condone it?

Mark

So.....you want the government to control what kind of sex people have. Interesting there, Adolf.

Who said that? I say, if gays want to have sex, do it. I will also say, that society has a responsibility not to legitimize any action that is harmful to its participants.

Or, do you think we should have an "alcoholics" day as well?

Mark

We have several: St. Patricks Day, New Years Eve, Cinco de Mayo.......but why do you go to the EXTREME....millions of people drink alcohol and they are not all alcoholics. Alcohol is legal. People who drink alcohol are allowed to marry. Heck....alcoholics are allowed to marry.........tho there is a lot more concrete evidence that being an alcoholic is harmful to family stability. Why haven't you come out against legalized marriage for alcoholics?

Then there's kkk, Westboro ... where should we draw the line?

 

[Esmeralda]

I have studied this subject a very long time. Gay men have no want to "settle down". It is my belief that being promiscuous is part and parcel of being a gay man. It s not just the sexuality in this case that makes men gay.The statistics are overwhelmingly in favor of my viewpoint.

Mark

Do tell.

Yes. Is this where you now accuse me of being a closet gay? Lol. Like I said, it is always "kill the messenger".

Maybe you can get me a link to disprove what I have said?

Mark

Why are you overly sensitive over your own words? "I have studied this subject for a very long time."

Sensitive? No. Psychic.

Mark

Oh...you've studied "this subject" for a very long time AND you're psychic.

Having such an obsession with something that he has 'studied' it for years and years begs the question: why is he so enamored with this subject? Usually, psychiatrists would say it is because of repressed homosexual feelings. Seriously: do people spend years of their lives studying something that is unimportant to them, something that has no role in their lives?

 

[80zephyr]

I applaud you fro your efforts. However, like I stated earlier, I have been researching this subject for years. I have NEVER read even one article that shows gay men to be monogamous in any significant numbers.

If anyone has one, I would be glad to look at it.

BTW, in all of my forum travels, I will say that gay men tend to debate this subject with more logic than their straight supporters do.

Mark

Some people; gay or straights, do not place a high value on monogamy. I am not one of those people. I am from a different school of thought regarding this issue. Being promiscuous isn't exactly a compelling reason to deny gays marriage.

I disagree. Monogamy IS marriage. That gays want marriage ON THEIR terms is a slap in the face to our traditions.

If they want marriage on their terms, why have marriage at all? I mean, just what is marriage without monogamy?

Nothing.

Mark

Some straight married couples do not practice monogamy or have "open marriages" as well. Monogamy in marriage doesn't have an exactly wonderful record throughout it's history, so this appeal to tradition is faulty on it's face considering history is rife with infidelity.

It always amazes me, the stupidity of an argument against gay marriage (which encourages monogamy) because gays are too promiscuous.

It is nothing more than a last ditch attempt to deny gays marriage. Even the anti-gay marriage side is not making these types of arguments in court. Gays are promiscuous so they should be denied marriage is one of the weaker arguments I've encountered when discussing this topic. It isn't a very compelling argument.

Anti gay marriage side would NEVER make that argument in court. It is not politically correct.

Tell you what, if the liberal media didn't make gays into Christ like beings, you might not even be where you are now.

Can you imagine if the public actually knew the truth about gays and the incident of disease and psychological problems they have, not to mention their complete dismissal of monogamy, there probably wouldn't be one state that allows gay marriage today.

The American public is not allowed to hear facts, only emotion.

Mark

 

[80zephyr]

Yes, being prejudiced against homosexuality is a choice. It is a stupid choice, of course, because it is so arbitrary, and cannot withstand any rigors of inquiry as to WHY it is wrong any better than similar prejudices once held against being left handed.

"It's icky because people say it's icky and because people say it's icky, it's icky" doesn't cut it by way of argumentation. Such circular arguments are the stuff of children. The onus is upon all the bigots to explain WHY homosexuality consumes their thoughts to such an extent that they go on and on and one with their hatred of it. Is it inherently harmful? Does it involve coercion? Is it exploitative? Unless the answers are yes, there is absolutely no reason for the prejudice other than as opinions that have been taught but never questioned.

Similar

I could care less if its "icky". Fact is, gay "sex" is dangerous. Do you also think that drug users and alcoholics should be celebrated in this country?

I mean, not only allow it, but condone it?

Mark

So.....you want the government to control what kind of sex people have. Interesting there, Adolf.

Who said that? I say, if gays want to have sex, do it. I will also say, that society has a responsibility not to legitimize any action that is harmful to its participants.

Or, do you think we should have an "alcoholics" day as well?

Mark

We have several: St. Patricks Day, New Years Eve, Cinco de Mayo.......but why do you go to the EXTREME....millions of people drink alcohol and they are not all alcoholics. Alcohol is legal. People who drink alcohol are allowed to marry. Heck....alcoholics are allowed to marry.........tho there is a lot more concrete evidence that being an alcoholic is harmful to family stability. Why haven't you come out against legalized marriage for alcoholics?

Then there's kkk, Westboro ... where should we draw the line?

When society wants to celebrate either group, and coax schools into telling them "how good they are", you'll have a point.

Mark

 

[80zephyr]

Do tell.

Yes. Is this where you now accuse me of being a closet gay? Lol. Like I said, it is always "kill the messenger".

Maybe you can get me a link to disprove what I have said?

Mark

Why are you overly sensitive over your own words? "I have studied this subject for a very long time."

Sensitive? No. Psychic.

Mark

Oh...you've studied "this subject" for a very long time AND you're psychic.

Having such an obsession with something that he has 'studied' it for years and years begs the question: why is he so enamored with this subject? Usually, psychiatrists would say it is because of repressed homosexual feelings. Seriously: do people spend years of their lives studying something that is unimportant to them, something that has no role in their lives?

And there we have it. Thanks for not letting me down.

Mark