People Are Not Born Gay

[80zephyr]

A statement by the Royal College of Psychiatrists that people are not born gay has been welcomed as "a major admission" by a Christian charity that helps men and women change unwanted same-sex feelings.
Core Issues Trust (CIT), which is campaigning against a ban on therapy being offered to people who want to move away from a homosexual lifestyle, says the latest statement by the Royal College admits what it previously denied
People Are Not Born Gay Affirms Royal College of Psychiatrists

Yep, even if it was genetic, it is still your choice to have same-sex pleasure or not. Anyone and everyone has a choice. Say yes or say no. It is really that simple...BUT queers choose to suck each other's dicks

Doesn't really matter because, IF you are a consenting adult and IF your actions harm no one, what you choose for your own life and who you choose as a partner is none of my business.

Would you agree with that?

MYOB

Absolutely. However, if its a choice, society does not have to condone it. It would be just like a person who does drugs. Make it legal, and let them live their lives. Should it be "normalized" by allowing them to marry?

Absolutely not.

Mark

Being a Christian who hates gays is also a choice and society does not have to condone it.

I am not particularly religious. I base my beliefs on fact, not emotion.

Mark

 

[Esmeralda]

A statement by the Royal College of Psychiatrists that people are not born gay has been welcomed as "a major admission" by a Christian charity that helps men and women change unwanted same-sex feelings.
Core Issues Trust (CIT), which is campaigning against a ban on therapy being offered to people who want to move away from a homosexual lifestyle, says the latest statement by the Royal College admits what it previously denied
People Are Not Born Gay Affirms Royal College of Psychiatrists

Yep, even if it was genetic, it is still your choice to have same-sex pleasure or not. Anyone and everyone has a choice. Say yes or say no. It is really that simple...BUT queers choose to suck each other's dicks

Doesn't really matter because, IF you are a consenting adult and IF your actions harm no one, what you choose for your own life and who you choose as a partner is none of my business.

Would you agree with that?

MYOB

Absolutely. However, if its a choice, society does not have to condone it. It would be just like a person who does drugs. Make it legal, and let them live their lives. Should it be "normalized" by allowing them to marry?

Absolutely not.

Mark

Being a Christian who hates gays is also a choice and society does not have to condone it.

I am not particularly religious. I base my beliefs on fact, not emotion.

Mark

Nope. Your beliefs, the anti-gay ones you are expressing here, are based completely on emotion.

 

[80zephyr]

You "know" they are being monogamous? Or is that your guess?

From all of my reading, gay men are not monogamous, while lesbians are better at it than even straight couples.

The problem with lesbians is that since they are women, they divorce. About 75% of all marriage that end in divorce is because the woman filed for it.

Now, you have TWO women married.

Tick, tick, tick...only a matter of time.

Mark

I know this because they are some of very best friends. Of course, I don't know for an absolute fact that they are monogamous but I am almost certain. The only person I know for a 100% fact that is monogamous is myself. Is it really that hard for you believe that gay people can be in monogamous relationship?

Divorce is an issue regardless of sexuality.

Is it hard for me to believe? Hell, even the gays admit they aren't monogamous.

How Do Gays Crack the Monogamy Code Tyler Curry

Is it possible for two gay men to be in a long-term relationship and remain monogamous?
The short answer? Of course it is. But for the frustrated but hopeful "monogay," it often seems nearly impossible to find a homo couple who have surpassed the five-year mark without opening up their relationship in one way or another. Naturally, each couple is different, complete with a brow-furrowing set of rules that they have constructed over the years. Whether its "playing" as a couple only or allowing for out-of-town flings or no-kissing-allowed or sexual-position-specific extracurricular hookups, one thing is for certain: Monogamy it is not.

And the part that upsets me the most, I mean, if you want society to allow you to marry, the least you could do is abide by society's definition of marriage. Even that is too much to ask, it seems.


There is no societal or religious pressure, no relationship archetype or historical expectation for a gay man to be monogamously coupled. Unlike heterosexual relationships, gay relationships form simply because two people want to be together. A heterosexual union may be rooted in religious and cultural bylaws that reinforce monogamy long after the excitement has left the bedroom. Straight couples are forced to push past the immediate gratification of sexual desire and find more meaningful forms of pleasure and release. If they give into the carnal pleasures of sex outside monogamy, they risk the chance of losing their coveted place among the moral elite.
Of course, gay couples were never considered equal to their heterosexual brethren -- not even closely related. In fact, a homosexual relationship is possibly the antithesis of what a monogamous union should be by most traditional standards, an abomination of the sacred "one-man-one-woman" mold. Therefore, the gatekeepers of these standards did not hold gay men accountable to same societal norms and expectations that are the foundation for the modern family.

They want "marriage" on their terms. That's bullshit.

Mark

The author makes some interesting points but he isn't the final word when it comes to monogamy in the gay community. Most people want marriage on their terms. It is why arranged marriages are not as common in this nation as there were in the past. If married couples; gay or straight, want to open their marriage and they both agree to the terms then have it. That is not my cup tea though. Monogamy isn't just an issue of the gay community. Heterosexuals seem to have this problem as well.

I don't discuss this often because it is really isn't anyone's business but I feel it is important while discussing this topic. I am a gay man and I've been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for almost 14 years now. I've never subscribed to the hook-up culture because when I was growing up I was inundated with news of the devastating effects of AIDS and it terrified me greatly. I started dating my husband when I was a freshman in college and I have remained faithfully this entire. Some people take their vows more seriously then others and I would never do anything to dishonor myself or my husband.

I applaud you fro your efforts. However, like I stated earlier, I have been researching this subject for years. I have NEVER read even one article that shows gay men to be monogamous in any significant numbers.

If anyone has one, I would be glad to look at it.

BTW, in all of my forum travels, I will say that gay men tend to debate this subject with more logic than their straight supporters do.

Mark

Some people; gay or straights, do not place a high value on monogamy. I am not one of those people. I am from a different school of thought regarding this issue. Being promiscuous isn't exactly a compelling reason to deny gays marriage.

I disagree. Monogamy IS marriage. That gays want marriage ON THEIR terms is a slap in the face to our traditions.

If they want marriage on their terms, why have marriage at all? I mean, just what is marriage without monogamy?

Nothing.

Mark

 

[bodecea]

Bodeca said she did not turn gay until after she joined the Navy (conveniently)

Why do you keep lying over that. I've corrected you several times. I said that I did not have my first sexual experience until I was in the Navy....I knew I was gay way before that.

So...in a few more weeks or months you'll come back on and lie about what I said again, right?

Well aint that convenient? did not commit a crime under the UCMJ until after you joined.

Look here is another lying lesbian
DAYNA MORALES THE CASE OF THE LYING LESBIAN iBLOGalot

You bring this up about once every few months. And every time you get shot down. I guess you're needing to get some bootlicking attention from Mal again.

 

[80zephyr]

Similar

I could care less if its "icky". Fact is, gay "sex" is dangerous. Do you also think that drug users and alcoholics should be celebrated in this country?

I mean, not only allow it, but condone it?

Mark

Promiscuous and indiscriminate sex is dangerous regardless of the sexuality of the person.

Correct. But, now logic kicks in. If the gays, with 2% of the population, account for 70% of sexual diseases, can we now assume that not only is the practice of indiscriminate sex dangerous, but they are predisposed to that activity?

And, since they are, that gay sex is a danger just like alcohol and drugs?

Mark

Monogamous sex is something that should be encouraged. This hook-up culture among gays and straights is causing the rising STD rates. If anything you should be encouraging gays to settle down and get married.

I have studied this subject a very long time. Gay men have no want to "settle down". It is my belief that being promiscuous is part and parcel of being a gay man. It s not just the sexuality in this case that makes men gay.The statistics are overwhelmingly in favor of my viewpoint.

Mark

Do tell.

Yes. Is this where you now accuse me of being a closet gay? Lol. Like I said, it is always "kill the messenger".

Maybe you can get me a link to disprove what I have said?

Mark

 

[80zephyr]

A statement by the Royal College of Psychiatrists that people are not born gay has been welcomed as "a major admission" by a Christian charity that helps men and women change unwanted same-sex feelings.
Core Issues Trust (CIT), which is campaigning against a ban on therapy being offered to people who want to move away from a homosexual lifestyle, says the latest statement by the Royal College admits what it previously denied
People Are Not Born Gay Affirms Royal College of Psychiatrists

Yep, even if it was genetic, it is still your choice to have same-sex pleasure or not. Anyone and everyone has a choice. Say yes or say no. It is really that simple...BUT queers choose to suck each other's dicks

Doesn't really matter because, IF you are a consenting adult and IF your actions harm no one, what you choose for your own life and who you choose as a partner is none of my business.

Would you agree with that?

MYOB

Absolutely. However, if its a choice, society does not have to condone it. It would be just like a person who does drugs. Make it legal, and let them live their lives. Should it be "normalized" by allowing them to marry?

Absolutely not.

Mark

Being a Christian who hates gays is also a choice and society does not have to condone it.

I am not particularly religious. I base my beliefs on fact, not emotion.

Mark

Nope. Your beliefs, the anti-gay ones you are expressing here, are based completely on emotion.

Society should NEVER condone destructive behavior. They should allow it, not condone it.

Drug use should be allowed. Should we teach it in our schools? Or have parades celebrating drug users?

Logical people would say no.

Mark

 

[bodecea]

Yes, being prejudiced against homosexuality is a choice. It is a stupid choice, of course, because it is so arbitrary, and cannot withstand any rigors of inquiry as to WHY it is wrong any better than similar prejudices once held against being left handed.

"It's icky because people say it's icky and because people say it's icky, it's icky" doesn't cut it by way of argumentation. Such circular arguments are the stuff of children. The onus is upon all the bigots to explain WHY homosexuality consumes their thoughts to such an extent that they go on and on and one with their hatred of it. Is it inherently harmful? Does it involve coercion? Is it exploitative? Unless the answers are yes, there is absolutely no reason for the prejudice other than as opinions that have been taught but never questioned.

Similar

I could care less if its "icky". Fact is, gay "sex" is dangerous. Do you also think that drug users and alcoholics should be celebrated in this country?

I mean, not only allow it, but condone it?

Mark

So.....you want the government to control what kind of sex people have. Interesting there, Adolf.

Who said that? I say, if gays want to have sex, do it. I will also say, that society has a responsibility not to legitimize any action that is harmful to its participants.

Or, do you think we should have an "alcoholics" day as well?

Mark

We have several: St. Patricks Day, New Years Eve, Cinco de Mayo.......but why do you go to the EXTREME....millions of people drink alcohol and they are not all alcoholics. Alcohol is legal. People who drink alcohol are allowed to marry. Heck....alcoholics are allowed to marry.........tho there is a lot more concrete evidence that being an alcoholic is harmful to family stability. Why haven't you come out against legalized marriage for alcoholics?

 

[bodecea]

Promiscuous and indiscriminate sex is dangerous regardless of the sexuality of the person.

Correct. But, now logic kicks in. If the gays, with 2% of the population, account for 70% of sexual diseases, can we now assume that not only is the practice of indiscriminate sex dangerous, but they are predisposed to that activity?

And, since they are, that gay sex is a danger just like alcohol and drugs?

Mark

Monogamous sex is something that should be encouraged. This hook-up culture among gays and straights is causing the rising STD rates. If anything you should be encouraging gays to settle down and get married.

I have studied this subject a very long time. Gay men have no want to "settle down". It is my belief that being promiscuous is part and parcel of being a gay man. It s not just the sexuality in this case that makes men gay.The statistics are overwhelmingly in favor of my viewpoint.

Mark

Do tell.

Yes. Is this where you now accuse me of being a closet gay? Lol. Like I said, it is always "kill the messenger".

Maybe you can get me a link to disprove what I have said?

Mark

Why are you overly sensitive over your own words? "I have studied this subject for a very long time."

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Yes, being prejudiced against homosexuality is a choice. It is a stupid choice, of course, because it is so arbitrary, and cannot withstand any rigors of inquiry as to WHY it is wrong any better than similar prejudices once held against being left handed.

"It's icky because people say it's icky and because people say it's icky, it's icky" doesn't cut it by way of argumentation. Such circular arguments are the stuff of children. The onus is upon all the bigots to explain WHY homosexuality consumes their thoughts to such an extent that they go on and on and one with their hatred of it. Is it inherently harmful? Does it involve coercion? Is it exploitative? Unless the answers are yes, there is absolutely no reason for the prejudice other than as opinions that have been taught but never questioned.

Similar

I could care less if its "icky". Fact is, gay "sex" is dangerous. Do you also think that drug users and alcoholics should be celebrated in this country?

I mean, not only allow it, but condone it?

Mark

Promiscuous and indiscriminate sex is dangerous regardless of the sexuality of the person.

Correct. But, now logic kicks in. If the gays, with 2% of the population, account for 70% of sexual diseases, can we now assume that not only is the practice of indiscriminate sex dangerous, but they are predisposed to that activity?

And, since they are, that gay sex is a danger just like alcohol and drugs?

Mark

And Lesbians have a lower % of STDs, particularly AIDS than anyone else. So...we should be the only ones who can legally marry using your logic.

Yes, if marriage was to bond any two humans together. Its not....

Mark

WHY one chooses to marry is no more the business of society, church, govt, meddlers, than the WHO.

 

[80zephyr]

Yes, being prejudiced against homosexuality is a choice. It is a stupid choice, of course, because it is so arbitrary, and cannot withstand any rigors of inquiry as to WHY it is wrong any better than similar prejudices once held against being left handed.

"It's icky because people say it's icky and because people say it's icky, it's icky" doesn't cut it by way of argumentation. Such circular arguments are the stuff of children. The onus is upon all the bigots to explain WHY homosexuality consumes their thoughts to such an extent that they go on and on and one with their hatred of it. Is it inherently harmful? Does it involve coercion? Is it exploitative? Unless the answers are yes, there is absolutely no reason for the prejudice other than as opinions that have been taught but never questioned.

Similar

I could care less if its "icky". Fact is, gay "sex" is dangerous. Do you also think that drug users and alcoholics should be celebrated in this country?

I mean, not only allow it, but condone it?

Mark

So.....you want the government to control what kind of sex people have. Interesting there, Adolf.

Who said that? I say, if gays want to have sex, do it. I will also say, that society has a responsibility not to legitimize any action that is harmful to its participants.

Or, do you think we should have an "alcoholics" day as well?

Mark

We have several: St. Patricks Day, New Years Eve, Cinco de Mayo.......but why do you go to the EXTREME....millions of people drink alcohol and they are not all alcoholics. Alcohol is legal. People who drink alcohol are allowed to marry. Heck....alcoholics are allowed to marry.........tho there is a lot more concrete evidence that being an alcoholic is harmful to family stability. Why haven't you come out against legalized marriage for alcoholics?

We do not have "alcoholics" day. Your comparisons to celebrations is...inane.

As is your comparison to alcoholics marrying. The BASIS of marriage is sexuality, not alcoholism.

Mark

 

[80zephyr]

Correct. But, now logic kicks in. If the gays, with 2% of the population, account for 70% of sexual diseases, can we now assume that not only is the practice of indiscriminate sex dangerous, but they are predisposed to that activity?

And, since they are, that gay sex is a danger just like alcohol and drugs?

Mark

Monogamous sex is something that should be encouraged. This hook-up culture among gays and straights is causing the rising STD rates. If anything you should be encouraging gays to settle down and get married.

I have studied this subject a very long time. Gay men have no want to "settle down". It is my belief that being promiscuous is part and parcel of being a gay man. It s not just the sexuality in this case that makes men gay.The statistics are overwhelmingly in favor of my viewpoint.

Mark

Do tell.

Yes. Is this where you now accuse me of being a closet gay? Lol. Like I said, it is always "kill the messenger".

Maybe you can get me a link to disprove what I have said?

Mark

Why are you overly sensitive over your own words? "I have studied this subject for a very long time."

Sensitive? No. Psychic.

Mark

 

[Esmeralda]

Doesn't really matter because, IF you are a consenting adult and IF your actions harm no one, what you choose for your own life and who you choose as a partner is none of my business.

Would you agree with that?

MYOB

Absolutely. However, if its a choice, society does not have to condone it. It would be just like a person who does drugs. Make it legal, and let them live their lives. Should it be "normalized" by allowing them to marry?

Absolutely not.

Mark

Being a Christian who hates gays is also a choice and society does not have to condone it.

I am not particularly religious. I base my beliefs on fact, not emotion.

Mark

Nope. Your beliefs, the anti-gay ones you are expressing here, are based completely on emotion.

Society should NEVER condone destructive behavior. They should allow it, not condone it.

Drug use should be allowed. Should we teach it in our schools? Or have parades celebrating drug users?

Logical people would say no.

Mark

Here's where your emotion comes in buddy boy. Being gay is not destructive behavior. Some people who are gay may behave destructively, but so do people who are not gay. Being promiscuous is not destructive. It is a choice made by adults. Promiscuity is not illegal; it is not anyone's business but the person making that choice. If you want to say it is destructive because people get AIDS, then understand that heterosexuals get AIDS, a well as many other sexually transmitted diseases. Heterosexuals are also promiscuous. You are being emotional and judgmental, not rational.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

I know this because they are some of very best friends. Of course, I don't know for an absolute fact that they are monogamous but I am almost certain. The only person I know for a 100% fact that is monogamous is myself. Is it really that hard for you believe that gay people can be in monogamous relationship?

Divorce is an issue regardless of sexuality.

Is it hard for me to believe? Hell, even the gays admit they aren't monogamous.

How Do Gays Crack the Monogamy Code Tyler Curry

Is it possible for two gay men to be in a long-term relationship and remain monogamous?
The short answer? Of course it is. But for the frustrated but hopeful "monogay," it often seems nearly impossible to find a homo couple who have surpassed the five-year mark without opening up their relationship in one way or another. Naturally, each couple is different, complete with a brow-furrowing set of rules that they have constructed over the years. Whether its "playing" as a couple only or allowing for out-of-town flings or no-kissing-allowed or sexual-position-specific extracurricular hookups, one thing is for certain: Monogamy it is not.

And the part that upsets me the most, I mean, if you want society to allow you to marry, the least you could do is abide by society's definition of marriage. Even that is too much to ask, it seems.


There is no societal or religious pressure, no relationship archetype or historical expectation for a gay man to be monogamously coupled. Unlike heterosexual relationships, gay relationships form simply because two people want to be together. A heterosexual union may be rooted in religious and cultural bylaws that reinforce monogamy long after the excitement has left the bedroom. Straight couples are forced to push past the immediate gratification of sexual desire and find more meaningful forms of pleasure and release. If they give into the carnal pleasures of sex outside monogamy, they risk the chance of losing their coveted place among the moral elite.
Of course, gay couples were never considered equal to their heterosexual brethren -- not even closely related. In fact, a homosexual relationship is possibly the antithesis of what a monogamous union should be by most traditional standards, an abomination of the sacred "one-man-one-woman" mold. Therefore, the gatekeepers of these standards did not hold gay men accountable to same societal norms and expectations that are the foundation for the modern family.

They want "marriage" on their terms. That's bullshit.

Mark

The author makes some interesting points but he isn't the final word when it comes to monogamy in the gay community. Most people want marriage on their terms. It is why arranged marriages are not as common in this nation as there were in the past. If married couples; gay or straight, want to open their marriage and they both agree to the terms then have it. That is not my cup tea though. Monogamy isn't just an issue of the gay community. Heterosexuals seem to have this problem as well.

I don't discuss this often because it is really isn't anyone's business but I feel it is important while discussing this topic. I am a gay man and I've been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for almost 14 years now. I've never subscribed to the hook-up culture because when I was growing up I was inundated with news of the devastating effects of AIDS and it terrified me greatly. I started dating my husband when I was a freshman in college and I have remained faithfully this entire. Some people take their vows more seriously then others and I would never do anything to dishonor myself or my husband.

I applaud you fro your efforts. However, like I stated earlier, I have been researching this subject for years. I have NEVER read even one article that shows gay men to be monogamous in any significant numbers.

If anyone has one, I would be glad to look at it.

BTW, in all of my forum travels, I will say that gay men tend to debate this subject with more logic than their straight supporters do.

Mark

Some people; gay or straights, do not place a high value on monogamy. I am not one of those people. I am from a different school of thought regarding this issue. Being promiscuous isn't exactly a compelling reason to deny gays marriage.

I disagree. Monogamy IS marriage. That gays want marriage ON THEIR terms is a slap in the face to our traditions.

If they want marriage on their terms, why have marriage at all? I mean, just what is marriage without monogamy?

Nothing.

Mark

No matter how many times I post this, not one phobe has had the courage or integrity to address it. FACT is, traditions change. Society changes.

Or are you willing to say which of these "traditions" you think should not have been changed?

 

[80zephyr]

Similar

I could care less if its "icky". Fact is, gay "sex" is dangerous. Do you also think that drug users and alcoholics should be celebrated in this country?

I mean, not only allow it, but condone it?

Mark

Promiscuous and indiscriminate sex is dangerous regardless of the sexuality of the person.

Correct. But, now logic kicks in. If the gays, with 2% of the population, account for 70% of sexual diseases, can we now assume that not only is the practice of indiscriminate sex dangerous, but they are predisposed to that activity?

And, since they are, that gay sex is a danger just like alcohol and drugs?

Mark

And Lesbians have a lower % of STDs, particularly AIDS than anyone else. So...we should be the only ones who can legally marry using your logic.

Yes, if marriage was to bond any two humans together. Its not....

Mark

WHY one chooses to marry is no more the business of society, church, govt, meddlers, than the WHO.

If the goal is to cheapen marriage, and destroy the family unit, you are correct.

Do you want to be correct?

Mark

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Promiscuous and indiscriminate sex is dangerous regardless of the sexuality of the person.

Correct. But, now logic kicks in. If the gays, with 2% of the population, account for 70% of sexual diseases, can we now assume that not only is the practice of indiscriminate sex dangerous, but they are predisposed to that activity?

And, since they are, that gay sex is a danger just like alcohol and drugs?

Mark

Monogamous sex is something that should be encouraged. This hook-up culture among gays and straights is causing the rising STD rates. If anything you should be encouraging gays to settle down and get married.

I have studied this subject a very long time. Gay men have no want to "settle down". It is my belief that being promiscuous is part and parcel of being a gay man. It s not just the sexuality in this case that makes men gay.The statistics are overwhelmingly in favor of my viewpoint.

Mark

Do tell.

Yes. Is this where you now accuse me of being a closet gay? Lol. Like I said, it is always "kill the messenger".

Maybe you can get me a link to disprove what I have said?

Mark

And, there it is folx.

Every damn time.

 

[bodecea]

Doesn't really matter because, IF you are a consenting adult and IF your actions harm no one, what you choose for your own life and who you choose as a partner is none of my business.

Would you agree with that?

MYOB

Absolutely. However, if its a choice, society does not have to condone it. It would be just like a person who does drugs. Make it legal, and let them live their lives. Should it be "normalized" by allowing them to marry?

Absolutely not.

Mark

Alcohol is a drug.

Yes it is. Tell me, should we go thru history, find prominent Americans who drank, and celebrate their accomplishments because they were alcoholics?

Like they are doing with the gays in school?

Maybe we should have an "alcoholic" pride month, to show people just how lovable and normal alcoholics are?

Mark

We tried to abolish alcohol...how did that work? And interestingly enough, alcoholics are allowed to legally marry.

Lol. Are you really gonna use alcoholics and marriage as a debate point?

Really?

Nope. Lets do this. Lets celebrate alcoholism by having a month set aside where we ENCOURAGE alcoholics to drink.

And who said anything about abolishing gay sex?

Mark

You don't get your analogies right.

"Having a month set aside where we ENCOURAGE alcoholics to drink." = "ENCOURAGING gays to remain single and be promiscious."

Encouraging people to drink responsibly = Encouraging gays to marry and be responsible, monogamous couples.

Again....you seem to always equate alcohol being legal with everyone being alcoholics. Maybe you should study THAT for a long time.

 

[bodecea]

A statement by the Royal College of Psychiatrists that people are not born gay has been welcomed as "a major admission" by a Christian charity that helps men and women change unwanted same-sex feelings.
Core Issues Trust (CIT), which is campaigning against a ban on therapy being offered to people who want to move away from a homosexual lifestyle, says the latest statement by the Royal College admits what it previously denied
People Are Not Born Gay Affirms Royal College of Psychiatrists

Yep, even if it was genetic, it is still your choice to have same-sex pleasure or not. Anyone and everyone has a choice. Say yes or say no. It is really that simple...BUT queers choose to suck each other's dicks

Does that mean there is a chance you will fall in love with a man?

Maybe. Recently in a "Dear Abby" column, a widowed man with grown children wrote and said he was having sexual feelings for another man. Said he was happily married and that thought never crossed his mind before.

I will say this. The human mind can rationalize ANYTHING.

There is also a fairly high incidence of lesbians becoming straight, so yeah, change happens.

Mark

OH well! If it was in Dear Abby.

Why do your work for you? If you really were interested in the truth, you would do your own research.

You aren't are you?

Mark

I am lesbian. I am married and have been for over 25 years. Most of my gay friends are married. How many real gay acquaintances do YOU have?

 

[mdk]

I know this because they are some of very best friends. Of course, I don't know for an absolute fact that they are monogamous but I am almost certain. The only person I know for a 100% fact that is monogamous is myself. Is it really that hard for you believe that gay people can be in monogamous relationship?

Divorce is an issue regardless of sexuality.

Is it hard for me to believe? Hell, even the gays admit they aren't monogamous.

How Do Gays Crack the Monogamy Code Tyler Curry

Is it possible for two gay men to be in a long-term relationship and remain monogamous?
The short answer? Of course it is. But for the frustrated but hopeful "monogay," it often seems nearly impossible to find a homo couple who have surpassed the five-year mark without opening up their relationship in one way or another. Naturally, each couple is different, complete with a brow-furrowing set of rules that they have constructed over the years. Whether its "playing" as a couple only or allowing for out-of-town flings or no-kissing-allowed or sexual-position-specific extracurricular hookups, one thing is for certain: Monogamy it is not.

And the part that upsets me the most, I mean, if you want society to allow you to marry, the least you could do is abide by society's definition of marriage. Even that is too much to ask, it seems.


There is no societal or religious pressure, no relationship archetype or historical expectation for a gay man to be monogamously coupled. Unlike heterosexual relationships, gay relationships form simply because two people want to be together. A heterosexual union may be rooted in religious and cultural bylaws that reinforce monogamy long after the excitement has left the bedroom. Straight couples are forced to push past the immediate gratification of sexual desire and find more meaningful forms of pleasure and release. If they give into the carnal pleasures of sex outside monogamy, they risk the chance of losing their coveted place among the moral elite.
Of course, gay couples were never considered equal to their heterosexual brethren -- not even closely related. In fact, a homosexual relationship is possibly the antithesis of what a monogamous union should be by most traditional standards, an abomination of the sacred "one-man-one-woman" mold. Therefore, the gatekeepers of these standards did not hold gay men accountable to same societal norms and expectations that are the foundation for the modern family.

They want "marriage" on their terms. That's bullshit.

Mark

The author makes some interesting points but he isn't the final word when it comes to monogamy in the gay community. Most people want marriage on their terms. It is why arranged marriages are not as common in this nation as there were in the past. If married couples; gay or straight, want to open their marriage and they both agree to the terms then have it. That is not my cup tea though. Monogamy isn't just an issue of the gay community. Heterosexuals seem to have this problem as well.

I don't discuss this often because it is really isn't anyone's business but I feel it is important while discussing this topic. I am a gay man and I've been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for almost 14 years now. I've never subscribed to the hook-up culture because when I was growing up I was inundated with news of the devastating effects of AIDS and it terrified me greatly. I started dating my husband when I was a freshman in college and I have remained faithfully this entire. Some people take their vows more seriously then others and I would never do anything to dishonor myself or my husband.

I applaud you fro your efforts. However, like I stated earlier, I have been researching this subject for years. I have NEVER read even one article that shows gay men to be monogamous in any significant numbers.

If anyone has one, I would be glad to look at it.

BTW, in all of my forum travels, I will say that gay men tend to debate this subject with more logic than their straight supporters do.

Mark

Some people; gay or straights, do not place a high value on monogamy. I am not one of those people. I am from a different school of thought regarding this issue. Being promiscuous isn't exactly a compelling reason to deny gays marriage.

I disagree. Monogamy IS marriage. That gays want marriage ON THEIR terms is a slap in the face to our traditions.

If they want marriage on their terms, why have marriage at all? I mean, just what is marriage without monogamy?

Nothing.

Mark

Some straight married couples do not practice monogamy or have "open marriages" as well. Monogamy in marriage doesn't have an exactly wonderful record throughout it's history, so this appeal to tradition is faulty on it's face considering history is rife with infidelity.

 

[bodecea]

Correct. But, now logic kicks in. If the gays, with 2% of the population, account for 70% of sexual diseases, can we now assume that not only is the practice of indiscriminate sex dangerous, but they are predisposed to that activity?

And, since they are, that gay sex is a danger just like alcohol and drugs?

Mark

Monogamous sex is something that should be encouraged. This hook-up culture among gays and straights is causing the rising STD rates. If anything you should be encouraging gays to settle down and get married.

I have studied this subject a very long time. Gay men have no want to "settle down". It is my belief that being promiscuous is part and parcel of being a gay man. It s not just the sexuality in this case that makes men gay.The statistics are overwhelmingly in favor of my viewpoint.

Mark

Do tell.

Yes. Is this where you now accuse me of being a closet gay? Lol. Like I said, it is always "kill the messenger".

Maybe you can get me a link to disprove what I have said?

Mark

And, there it is folx.

Every damn time.

But hey! He's studied this subject a very long time.

 

[80zephyr]

Absolutely. However, if its a choice, society does not have to condone it. It would be just like a person who does drugs. Make it legal, and let them live their lives. Should it be "normalized" by allowing them to marry?

Absolutely not.

Mark

Being a Christian who hates gays is also a choice and society does not have to condone it.

I am not particularly religious. I base my beliefs on fact, not emotion.

Mark

Nope. Your beliefs, the anti-gay ones you are expressing here, are based completely on emotion.

Society should NEVER condone destructive behavior. They should allow it, not condone it.

Drug use should be allowed. Should we teach it in our schools? Or have parades celebrating drug users?

Logical people would say no.

Mark

Here's where your emotion comes in buddy boy. Being gay is not destructive behavior. Some people who are gay may behave destructively, but so do people who are not gay. Being promiscuous is not destructive. It is a choice made by adults. Promiscuity is not illegal; it is not anyone's business but the person making that choice. If you want to say it is destructive because people get AIDS, then understand that heterosexuals get AIDS, a well as many other sexually transmitted diseases. Heterosexuals are also promiscuous. You are being emotional and judgmental, not rational.

So, if I say that when 2% of the population generates 70% of sexual disease, I am being emotional? And while promiscuity is not illegal, it surely is dangerous. And you are wrong, it is destructive. These diseases are a direct result of promiscuity.

As to straights being promiscuous, I am sure some are. But again, the numbers from the CDC seem to prove you wrong.

Why is that?

Mark