In other news...

[Ame®icano]

... they promised us nontraditional State Of The Union and if by nontraditional they meant semi-coherent rumbling mixed with throw away lies from 2008, they surely nailed it.

 

[Ame®icano]

... according to Hillary, the recent tensions between Iran and US that resulted in forced detention of American sailors was caused by the release of the derogatory video called "13 Hours".

 

[Ame®icano]

... from 50+ points lead to 3-5 points deficit, Hillary has turned her sight on her primary opponent Bernie. Fighting at that age? Watch your hips.

 

[Ame®icano]

... Hillary said that "we have systemic racism and bias that is implicit in our criminal justice system." Whatever could she mean. I agree.

 

[Ame®icano]

... Jeb Bush is taking off the gloves in a new ad aimed at... Marco Rubio? It seems like a lot of effort to go for the fourth place.

 

[Ame®icano]

... after every idiot bought his "hockey stick" story and got an Oscar for it, the scam artist Al Gore pulled another successful trick out of the sleeve. This time his victim was Al Jazeera who after just few years is closing its doors in America. The lesson for everyone: Never buy anything from that guy.

 

[Ame®icano]

... OMG, a snowstorm! In January! Who would have thought of that?

 

[Ame®icano]

... Hillary said the inspector general report proving she lied about her email server is part of the vast right wing conspiracy. It's interesting theory considering that IG works for Obama.

 

[Ame®icano]

... during the last presidential debate, Hillary said that "there should be no individual too big to jail". We'll see how she feel about that when she meets her cellmate.

 

[Ame®icano]

... at the same debate, greedy grandpa Bernie said that "we should not be selling people military style assault weapons." Good thing is that we don't. Well, most of us don't. Those who do sell usually use fancy code names such as "Fast and Furious".

 

[Ame®icano]

... and while at it, some of the weapons trafficked by Obama and Holder turned up at the hideout of drug lord El Chapo Guzman. Maybe those two can be Hillary's new cellmates.

 

[Ame®icano]

... from the same Barry's EPA which turned the river into an open sewer... drinking water in Flint, Michigan is now fortified with even more lead. Wondering why? Because lead makes people stupid, and that's how they're making more Democrats.

 

[Ame®icano]

... an Oklahoma judge sentenced serial rapist Daniel Holtzclaw to 263 years in prison. However, authorities caution that Bill Clinton remains at large.

 

[Ame®icano]

... two Corinthians diverged in the yellow wood and Donald Trump fired them both.

 

[Ame®icano]

... Iranian president Hassan Rouhani's meeting with French president François Hollande was cancelled after Hollande refused to remove wine from the menu. This means that now even French are tougher than Obama.

 

[Ame®icano]

... man arrested at Disneyland Paris with two guns, ammunition, a knife and, of course the Koran. Apparently he's upset that Minnie Mouse shows too much ankle.

 

[Ame®icano]

... Ben & Jerry released new ice cream flavor. It tastes like communism and failure.

 

[Ame®icano]

... under pressure of political correctness, Matel is releasing all new "body positive" Barbies. Not making the cut: pantsuit and cankles Barbie and too much Botox Barbie.

 

[Ame®icano]

... Hillary told the recent Democrat hate rally that she never thought she'd be running for president. Uhm... never? Actually, there was a time when she wasn't.

 

[Ame®icano]

... while visiting mosque with known ties to Islamic terrorism, president Hussein described people hearing 1000 years of Islam's "message of peace". Message of what?