Forgiveness

[Sherry]

Ah, I forgot about that. Yes, that is very much a challenge for me, too.

So, I suppose my answer is yes, there is one person...me. Sometimes I get there, sometimes I don't.

I definitely need more practice.

Make a habit out of it. Dealing with our own mistakes is sometimes the hardest thing to do. You'll feel better about yourself, and end up a more positive person.

It is not the "mistakes" that I have a problem with. It is the deliberate injustices that I sometimes commit for instance there is one poster on this... oh, forget it, I'm not even going to admit that mistake!!

Immie

I forgive you.

 

[Sunshine]

I don't think people can ask forgiveness when their sense of self-preservation rests in/on denial that they did any damage.

Right. Some are limited, so when I realize hoping for some insight from them is nothing but a pipe dream, I ask myself why I give them the luxury of being in my head rent-free.

Poof....gone. It's quite liberating.

Exactly. Forgiveness is definitely a self serving concept. Most people don't see that though. They think it means letting someone who did a terrible wrong get off scot free, but it isn't.

 

[Swagger]

Are there people you cannot or will not forgive?

Truthfully? Irish Travellers/Gypsies (and no, I'm not having a dig at the Irish as they hate them as much as we do). I'm being serious, too. In the business I'm in I've had enough experience with them to conclude that every single one of them is a ruthless parasite who should be prevented from breeding. They contribute absolutely nothing to society, yet expect to be accomodated, fed and watered by their unfortunate hosts while they rip-off and defraud anyone and everyone. They are absolute scum who are universally loathed throughout the UK and Ireland.

I'm not going to go into any details, but the only (and I mean only) way of dealing with them is swiftly and violently. It's the only language they understand. Honestly, if every single one of them was wiped out in one fell swoop, I wouldn't even bat an eyelid. I'd be overcome with joy. Seriously, Google 'em up.

 

[Wiseacre]

Make a habit out of it. Dealing with our own mistakes is sometimes the hardest thing to do. You'll feel better about yourself, and end up a more positive person.

It is not the "mistakes" that I have a problem with. It is the deliberate injustices that I sometimes commit for instance there is one poster on this... oh, forget it, I'm not even going to admit that mistake!!

Immie

I forgive you.

Me too.

 

[Intense]

Are there people you cannot or will not forgive?

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o87g9sdVf9U]Let It Go, Let It Flow - YouTube[/ame]
Let It Go, Let It Flow

 

[AVG-JOE]

I remain, one of Momma's luckiest little bastards EVER.

To Mom!
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iv-1W4LSf9o]The Earth, our only home: Carl Sagan - Pale Blue Dot - YouTube[/ame]

 

[PredFan]

My brother's wife has driven a wedge between himself and the rest of his family. Our Mother is 80 years old now and she hasn't seen my brother's son since he was an infant. He's now 6 years old. If my brother allows this to continue and our mother passes without him resolving it, he will be dead to me.

So "Kinda/Sorta" if he fixes it then I'll forgive him. I don't think his crazy ass wife will allow him to do that.

Why has he given his power to her.

1. She has huge boobs.

2. He doesn't want to anger her, if she divorces him and takes his kid, she will be the ex-wife from hell.

3. He likes huge boobs.

4. My brother is a dumb ass.

 

[Duped]

We all need forgiveness - NO!

 

[TrinityPower]

The person that I find hardest to forgive is myself.

I can forgive everyone else, but I find it difficult to forgive myself when I do something that I know is wrong.

Immie

I do that too. I also will forgive someone time and again for the same wrong and resent them for me having to forgive them for the same thing over and over until the feelings I have toward them are completely dead but it does make it easier to move on after that because there is no feeling left.

 

[BDBoop]

My brother's wife has driven a wedge between himself and the rest of his family. Our Mother is 80 years old now and she hasn't seen my brother's son since he was an infant. He's now 6 years old. If my brother allows this to continue and our mother passes without him resolving it, he will be dead to me.

So "Kinda/Sorta" if he fixes it then I'll forgive him. I don't think his crazy ass wife will allow him to do that.

Why has he given his power to her.

1. She has huge boobs.

2. He doesn't want to anger her, if she divorces him and takes his kid, she will be the ex-wife from hell.

3. He likes huge boobs.

4. My brother is a dumb ass.

So he's a boob who loves boobs. Boy, is he going to be embarrassed at some point in the future.

 

[Swagger]

Why has he given his power to her.

1. She has huge boobs.

2. He doesn't want to anger her, if she divorces him and takes his kid, she will be the ex-wife from hell.

3. He likes huge boobs.

4. My brother is a dumb ass.

So he's a boob who loves boobs. Boy, is he going to be embarrassed at some point in the future.

Yeah, by the time she's sixty they'll look like a pair of spaniel's ears.

 

[BDBoop]

The person that I find hardest to forgive is myself.

I can forgive everyone else, but I find it difficult to forgive myself when I do something that I know is wrong.

Immie

I do that too. I also will forgive someone time and again for the same wrong and resent them for me having to forgive them for the same thing over and over until the feelings I have toward them are completely dead but it does make it easier to move on after that because there is no feeling left.

Yup. And then I'm pissed at myself for having the nerve to be surprised when they do it again.

 

[Intense]

The person that I find hardest to forgive is myself.

I can forgive everyone else, but I find it difficult to forgive myself when I do something that I know is wrong.

Immie

That's Conscience. Learn to separate the sin from the sinner. Do all the penance you need to in order to effect balance, and then some. We each matter. We each are of value.

 

[Intense]

The person that I find hardest to forgive is myself.

I can forgive everyone else, but I find it difficult to forgive myself when I do something that I know is wrong.

Immie

I do that too. I also will forgive someone time and again for the same wrong and resent them for me having to forgive them for the same thing over and over until the feelings I have toward them are completely dead but it does make it easier to move on after that because there is no feeling left.

Yup. And then I'm pissed at myself for having the nerve to be surprised when they do it again.

When you see rain coming, do you prepare, or get caught off guard? It is okay to buffer yourself from harm and abuse. There is also nothing wrong with pointing out injustice. Voice does bring wrong action to light, right? And by doing so, does effect change, both directly, and indirectly.

 

[TrinityPower]

I do that too. I also will forgive someone time and again for the same wrong and resent them for me having to forgive them for the same thing over and over until the feelings I have toward them are completely dead but it does make it easier to move on after that because there is no feeling left.

Yup. And then I'm pissed at myself for having the nerve to be surprised when they do it again.

When you see rain coming, do you prepare, or get caught off guard? It is okay to buffer yourself from harm and abuse. There is also nothing wrong with pointing out injustice. Voice does bring wrong action to light, right? And by doing so, does effect change, both directly, and indirectly.

I have learned that my expectations are not others expectations and when my expectations are not met I become very disappointed in others. I take people at their word and if they say I won't do that again and do it again I resent that because it was not important enough to them to keep their word and they lose all credibility with me. I never trust them again and when they continue to say I am sorry and do whatever it is again and again I lose respect for them and believe nothing they say about anything until I don't care anymore and their word is empty blabber and never regains value. When someone gives me their word and 9 times out of 10 breaks it they have chosen to be dishonorabe and lose my respect so forgiving them for that is difficult knowing they didn't care enough about the value of their own word. Forgiving is difficult when the other party knows they are hurting you and you are not important enough to them to care that they are doing it.

 

[syrenn]

well i dont forgive for the same reason....my well being.....plus they havent ask for forgiveness either

See, for me, they don't have to ask.

Just because I forgive, doesn't mean I've told them that. In fact, I doubt many whom I personally forgive likely don't even know it. I've completely written them off. I make no effort to continue any contact, nor do I make any effort to avoid contact. They simply no longer occupy my thoughts or efforts.

Life is good that way.

As I said, I am quite self-serving.

Not forgiving ... does not mean it occupies your thoughts. It does mean you know how you feel and acknowledge why you feel what you do. There is a strength in that.

 

[hortysir]

then what is there to forgive? if a person does not realize the damage they have done......then what is there to forgive.....my comment when i was told my mother's sister was in a car wreck...."damn it was not fatal" and yes it takes a lot of energy to fuel that level of hate...

You forgive for your own heart's sake.
You don't have to let the other person know. Let them fester in the consequences of their own actions.
Hell, chances are they don't think they've done anything to be forgiven for.
Even if they do know they've done wrong, don't give them the gratification of knowing that "it's okay".

Just let them go, like a few have said.....don't let them be that black spot in your heart.

 

[MeBelle]

No matter what happens to and/or around you, there is one an only one attitude that you can truly control.

You can't blame another for your lack of ability to forgive them.

Bingo!

The person that I find hardest to forgive is myself.

I can forgive everyone else, but I find it difficult to forgive myself when I do something that I know is wrong.

Immie

I do that too. I also will forgive someone time and again for the same wrong and resent them for me having to forgive them for the same thing over and over until the feelings I have toward them are completely dead but it does make it easier to move on after that because there is no feeling left.

Yup. And then I'm pissed at myself for having the nerve to be surprised when they do it again.

Boop-
We must know the same group of people!
I swear there is this toxic group of people who I cannot extricate myself from, we cross paths all the time. Every year I think, maybe it will be different then *BAM* one of them comes up with something new!

The part that slays me most is when it becomes obvious that something has gone so wrong that there is a large fail somewhere, they go into denial and will not talk about it, or try to fix it/make it right.

If I did not forgive them I would be in a seething rage.

 

[Sarah G]

I put this up on Pinterest. It hit home with a LOT of people. *117 likes, 430 repins* - far and away my most repinned pin.

I can't agree with that one Boop. There is one person I can't forgive but I can let the pain go away. I can vow never to let that thing happen to me again. I can live in the present and only there.

Does anyone here forgive Osama Bin Laden for the Towers? Maybe it's the word forgiveness that bothers me.

 

[MeBelle]

When you see rain coming, do you prepare, or get caught off guard? It is okay to buffer yourself from harm and abuse.
Unless the 'harm' or 'abuse' changes constantly, like living with someone who has 30 personalities.

There is also nothing wrong with pointing out injustice. Voice does bring wrong action to light, right?
Bringing wrong actions to light does not mean the wrong doings will stop.

And by doing so, does effect change, both directly, and indirectly.

Indirectly, I can buy into, if the only thing that is accomplished is relieving oneself of hurt.