Forgiveness

[BDBoop]

Are there people you cannot or will not forgive?

 

[California Girl]

Only one.

 

[hortysir]

I am commanded to forgive those that have trespassed against me.

 

[California Girl]

I am commanded to forgive those that have trespassed against me.

So am I. But God and I need to discuss that one.

 

[hortysir]

I am commanded to forgive those that have trespassed against me.

So am I. But God and I need to discuss that one.

Now, on the other hand, I am not commanded to forgive those that have trespassed against you.
So I got your back

 

[BDBoop]

I am commanded to forgive those that have trespassed against me.

I know I am commanded ... *and there's always a 'but', is there not* - I find what I have trouble forgiving is not the damage that was done me, but the damage done to my offspring by somebody who should never have willfully harmed her.

 

[hortysir]

Ya gotta keep in mind the context of the command.

We can only be expected to be forgiven by the same measure we forgive.

"Forgive us our trespasses (just as) we forgive those**......

 

[BDBoop]

Exactly. "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

And "by the same measure with which ye judge, you will be judged."

"He that is without sin, cast the first stone."

I don't think it's so cut-and-dried, though. You can think you put it all behind you, and then they'll trip a trigger, and all bets are off. It's not a constant battle; but it is definitely a battle.

 

[BDBoop]

I put this up on Pinterest. It hit home with a LOT of people. *117 likes, 430 repins* - far and away my most repinned pin.

 

[AquaAthena]

Are there people you cannot or will not forgive?

Yes, a few. "To understand is to forgive" and there have been some, whom I will never understand the reasons or excuses, they might offer.

Sometimes holding a grudge, hurts me less, than forgiving weakness or stupidity in others, for the chances of them repeating, are high. They have lost my trust.

I prefer to just "let go." Sometimes you just have to let go, in order to move on.. That's what works best for me. I can only speak for myself.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Are there people you cannot or will not forgive?

No. Life is too fucking short to waste time nursing grudges.

 

[BDBoop]

No nursing involved when the perpetrator continues to do damage. It took dementia to make my ever undiagnosed, untreated, mentally ill mother into a kinder, gentler soul. Before that, it was 45 years of never knowing when the next attack was coming.

 

[PredFan]

My brother's wife has driven a wedge between himself and the rest of his family. Our Mother is 80 years old now and she hasn't seen my brother's son since he was an infant. He's now 6 years old. If my brother allows this to continue and our mother passes without him resolving it, he will be dead to me.

So "Kinda/Sorta" if he fixes it then I'll forgive him. I don't think his crazy ass wife will allow him to do that.

 

[AVG-JOE]

No matter what happens to and/or around you, there is one an only one attitude that you can truly control.

You can't blame another for your lack of ability to forgive them.

 

[BDBoop]

My brother's wife has driven a wedge between himself and the rest of his family. Our Mother is 80 years old now and she hasn't seen my brother's son since he was an infant. He's now 6 years old. If my brother allows this to continue and our mother passes without him resolving it, he will be dead to me.

So "Kinda/Sorta" if he fixes it then I'll forgive him. I don't think his crazy ass wife will allow him to do that.

Why has he given his power to her.

 

[BDBoop]

No matter what happens to and/or around you, there is one an only one attitude that you can truly control.

You can't blame another for your lack of ability to forgive them.

Of course you can. It won't be right, true or logical but you can do it.

However, I think it's easier for some people to forgive than others. My sister could never understand why I suck at holding grudges, until my other sister tried to destroy my daughter. Then things changed. I have forgiven her. I have also removed her from my life.

 

[AVG-JOE]

If nothing else works, ending the relationship is the last key to forgiving, but hey - a relationship is a small price to pay for inner peace.

 

[California Girl]

No matter what happens to and/or around you, there is one an only one attitude that you can truly control.

You can't blame another for your lack of ability to forgive them.

I blame the individual concerned... but to forgive or not was my decision. I decided no. I'll live with that. I'm comfortable with it.

 

[syrenn]

Are there people you cannot or will not forgive?

Yes. Some things should never be forgiven.....ever.

 

[BDBoop]

Another hard forgive is damage done to a child, when we are now adults. When abuse fundamentally changes who you are, how you live, all your perceptions - it's hard to get past.