Anyone else grieving?

Discussion in 'USMB Lounge' started by ricechickie, Mar 26, 2017.

  1. ricechickie
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    ricechickie Gold Member

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    I lost my husband in November 2015. Has anyone else lost someone recently, or even not recently? Sharing grief experiences can help, I've found.

    Anyway, I guess I felt like sharing.
     
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  2. yiostheoy
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    yiostheoy Gold Member

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    I'm sorry for your loss, ricechickie .

    I lost my dad a few years ago. it was painful because he was my idol. I wanted him to live into his 90's like his sister had but he was just not as healthy as she was.

    You just have to cry it out and get it over with.

    Eventually you will get used to it.

    We are all mortal and nobody lives forever.

    All you can do is accept it.

    In your case women usually outlive their men anyway.

    In my fraternity however we also have several old men who have outlived their wives.

    I believe life is a gift and when/if God gives you more life than someone else then it is just a gift.

    Enjoy the gift.

    You will need to get used to being single again. That will be difficult but you can do it because plenty of others have.

    Again, I'm sorry for your loss.
     
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  3. ricechickie
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    ricechickie Gold Member

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    He was my first big loss. I am definitely getting through. I am finally just getting adjusted to being alone. Yes, that's taken almost a year and a half.
     
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  4. ricechickie
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    ricechickie Gold Member

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    One of the last coherent things he said was that I should go on and be happy. I hang onto that. I have no shame in enjoying my life. That was gift he gave me.
     
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  5. emilynghiem
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    emilynghiem Constitutionalist / Universalist Supporting Member

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    I lost two community members close to me.
    One who was a fellow parody writer/Democrat here in the USMB community.
    A very rare combination and very rare charming old Gentleman who was also a Vet.

    And a community leader in my home district
    who also served as the local Democratic Precinct Chair.

    Just getting to the age where I'm going to outlive my mentors
    and older peers, and see more of them drop off before it's my turn.

    I'm an 80s kid, graduated from high school and then college in 1984 and 1988.
    So I'm going to start losing more and more of my teachers and mentors
    who are 10 - 20 years older.
     
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  6. emilynghiem
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    emilynghiem Constitutionalist / Universalist Supporting Member

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    Dear ricechickie I would be lost without my honey.
    Bless you and you are doing great to make it that first year.
    Wow. You are very brave and I admire you.

    This has to be harder than losing a parent. With other family,
    the first two years are hardest, if you can make it to 5 you can make it to 10.

    I think I would just want to give up and not do anything if I lost my honey.
     
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  7. ricechickie
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    ricechickie Gold Member

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    My husband was 12 years older. We had 20 years together. I am not the age where women usually lose their husbands, but he was quite ill for some years, so it wasn't a complete shock. I thought I had another decade.
     
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  8. yiostheoy
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    yiostheoy Gold Member

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    I have been told by others that losing a child is the worst thing.

    So obviously military families who lose their sons or daughters have the worst grief from it.

    But grief is grief.

    Grief comes from losing something that you love.

    I would cry now if I lost my cat. I love my cat.

    I would cry if I lost my sister too. Or my niece. I love them too.

    In Greek there are 3 kids of love. Unselfish love is the highest of these. They are usually reserved for our children. You cannot replace children.
     
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  9. Marion Morrison
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    Marion Morrison Gold Member

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    I'm sorry for your loss.
     
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  10. yiostheoy
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    yiostheoy Gold Member

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    That was the same way I felt with my dad. His death caught me completely unprepared and by surprise.

    Crying was the only way to deal with it.
     
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