If a state mandates she have the baby then the simple solution is to go to a state that doesn't have such mandates. It's a free country you know, even with the Communists in charge.
Yes, I think if a couple found the woman was pregnant unexpectedly, they would not be coy about it. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. When my sister was pregnant, she had no problem telling us the child was not planned, on two separate occasions. No big deal.
Since I was a teen I never wanted to get married or have children, and I managed to do that throughout my life. I've had plenty of women, lived with two, one for a year and another for four years. All but two former girlfriends were using birth control. Never had a problem with it.
I think your failed birth control argument is a failure in itself. I believe that because abortion is legal, people have a tendency to be more irresponsible. I also think that people in states with strict abortion laws will see a reduction in unwanted pregnancies. Men suddenly becoming more interested in vasectomies? That's never happened in my lifetime.
Do you know what this reminds me of, drinking and driving. When I was a young man it wasn't a big deal. If a cop thought you were drinking and still capable of driving, he'd follow you home to make sure you got there safely. If he thought you were unsafe, he'd give you a ride home. If he arrested you, it was a couple dollar fine. When insurance companies learned they could payoff politicians to write laws in their favor, DUI became a major issue. You lose your license except for work privileges. Your car insurance rates double or more. For multiple offenses, you can even find yourself in prison for several months. Some get their license suspended for life. The result? A huge decrease in DUI offenses and deaths. At one time New Years Eve was a huge thing. Today it doesn't mean that much because everybody who drinks is afraid to go out.