Zone1 Taking mother's keys

[BULLDOG]

My mother is 94 yeas old. Still lives alone, teaches a sunday school class, and is almost as active and alert as any 60 year old. The only problem is her driving is getting scary. Taking her keys would break her heart, and I don't want what little time she has left to be spent feeling betrayed and angry at her kids. I'm thinking about telling her that something extremely expensive is wrong with her car, but it should be fine as long as she only drives it the short distance from home to church, or from home to the local store. Anything more than the 1/2 mile radious around her house will ruin her car. No more interstate driving to the larger town across the river. Anybody here who has had to deal with taking an old person's keys? How did you do it?

 

[Concerned American]

My mother is 94 yeas old. Still lives alone, teaches a sunday school class, and is almost as active and alert as any 60 year old. The only problem is her driving is getting scary. Taking her keys would break her heart, and I don't want what little time she has left to be spent feeling betrayed and angry at her kids. I'm thinking about telling her that something extremely expensive is wrong with her car, but it should be fine as long as she only drives it the short distance from home to church, or from home to the local store. Anything more than the 1/2 mile radious around her house will ruin her car. No more interstate driving to the larger town across the river. Anybody here who has had to deal with taking an old person's keys? How did you do it?

Quit being a pussy and tell her she is not safe behind the wheel. She can kill people within a half mile of home just as easily as 100 miles from home.

 

[TNHarley]

If you are worried, why let her drive at all? Thats very irresponsible of you. Although, im sure she is used to it.
More than 50% of car accidents happen within five miles of their home.

 

[1srelluc]

Yep, I'm thinking of the same thing, my mom turned 90 in May, had to get her license renewed and she passed! She should not have IMHO.

She is currently in rehab from a illness and in a couple of weeks she will be back home so I'll see then how strong she is....She has a Jeep Liberty and I doubt she will be able to get in it for a while at least.

 

[Ralph Norton]

My mother is 94 yeas old. Still lives alone, teaches a sunday school class, and is almost as active and alert as any 60 year old. The only problem is her driving is getting scary. Taking her keys would break her heart, and I don't want what little time she has left to be spent feeling betrayed and angry at her kids. I'm thinking about telling her that something extremely expensive is wrong with her car, but it should be fine as long as she only drives it the short distance from home to church, or from home to the local store. Anything more than the 1/2 mile radious around her house will ruin her car. No more interstate driving to the larger town across the river. Anybody here who has had to deal with taking an old person's keys? How did you do it?

What is the issue? Vision? Some states require a vison test for license renewal.
If simply poor driving, I don't have an answer for you but I will be watching this thread - my parents are also getting up there.

 

[playtime]

I don't want what little time she has left to be spent feeling betrayed and angry at her kids.

that little time she has left could be cut even shorter.

 

[Lastamender]

My mom (RIP) was a leadfoot.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

Tell her something is wrong with her car and she might just buy a new car.

 

[1srelluc]

Tell her something is wrong with her car and she might just buy a new car.

Then when she passes you will have lightly used car....Profit!

Nah, it never works that way.

 

[okfine]

My mother is 94 yeas old. Still lives alone, teaches a sunday school class, and is almost as active and alert as any 60 year old. The only problem is her driving is getting scary. Taking her keys would break her heart, and I don't want what little time she has left to be spent feeling betrayed and angry at her kids. I'm thinking about telling her that something extremely expensive is wrong with her car, but it should be fine as long as she only drives it the short distance from home to church, or from home to the local store. Anything more than the 1/2 mile radious around her house will ruin her car. No more interstate driving to the larger town across the river. Anybody here who has had to deal with taking an old person's keys? How did you do it?

Taking away your Mother's independence isn't easy. After the third small fender bender she still refused to listen to me. Then she had a small parking lot accident at the beauty shop. The stylist called me and said you need to come get her. She confessed to him that she shouldn't be driving any longer. I told her that's it, you're done driving. The next week she hit the washing machine in the garage where she parks while backing out. I ended up calling the PD and a sergeant came over. He explained how she shouldn't be driving any longer by pointing out the dents on her car. She gave the officers the keys. I was amazed. She needed an authority figure to convince her. 85 years old.

 

[BULLDOG]

Quit being a pussy and tell her she is not safe behind the wheel. She can kill people within a half mile of home just as easily as 100 miles from home.

Yes, accidents can happen close to home, but she can do a lot better on small country roads where the speed limit is 25 than she can on the interstate. Further steps will have to be taken, but this is a start in weening her from driving.

 

[BULLDOG]

Tell her something is wrong with her car and she might just buy a new car.

Not if all her kids tell her she can't afford it.

 

[toobfreak]

My mother is 94 yeas old. Still lives alone, teaches a sunday school class, and is almost as active and alert as any 60 year old. The only problem is her driving is getting scary. Taking her keys would break her heart, and I don't want what little time she has left to be spent feeling betrayed and angry at her kids. I'm thinking about telling her that something extremely expensive is wrong with her car, but it should be fine as long as she only drives it the short distance from home to church, or from home to the local store. Anything more than the 1/2 mile radious around her house will ruin her car. No more interstate driving to the larger town across the river. Anybody here who has had to deal with taking an old person's keys? How did you do it?

Tell her:

Mom, you're 94 and I want you to see 104, so rather than worry me half to death, start using that service that picks you up and takes you home for MY peace of mind!

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

My mother is 94 yeas old. Still lives alone, teaches a sunday school class, and is almost as active and alert as any 60 year old. The only problem is her driving is getting scary. Taking her keys would break her heart, and I don't want what little time she has left to be spent feeling betrayed and angry at her kids. I'm thinking about telling her that something extremely expensive is wrong with her car, but it should be fine as long as she only drives it the short distance from home to church, or from home to the local store. Anything more than the 1/2 mile radious around her house will ruin her car. No more interstate driving to the larger town across the river. Anybody here who has had to deal with taking an old person's keys? How did you do it?

Been there done that.
My Mom would go to the grocery store and get lost. The last time she went to the grocery store she left her purse in the cart after loading groceries and she told the police she got robbed because she didnt want us to know how bad she'd gotten.
The last time she drove to our house to visit she got lost multiple times and in the end when we figured out where she was we told her to stay there and we'd come and get her.
On the return trip we followed her and she missed the first turn.
We kinda pulled the same thing you're planning on by saying her car had broken down and needed a new transmission.
Of course she asked if we'd fix it for her and we had to lie and say we didnt have the money.
Same,same when we had to move her to assisted living. She kept asking when she could move back to her Condo on Galveston bay.
She passed a couple years ago and I hate to say it but it was a relief,she didnt know who my Wife was and sometimes she didnt recognize me.

 

[JohnDB]

If y'all figure it out let me know.
My dad lives in a smallish town with little traffic so he's good for a little while....but not too much longer. He's 85....just saying.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

Not if all her kids tell her she can't afford it.

Really? Your mother doesn't know what her own finances are!

 

[John Edgar Slow Horses]

Not if all her kids tell her she can't afford it.

All the kids need to tell her, "Mama, give us the keys. We are here for you forever. Don't fret."

 

[White 6]

My mother is 94 yeas old. Still lives alone, teaches a sunday school class, and is almost as active and alert as any 60 year old. The only problem is her driving is getting scary. Taking her keys would break her heart, and I don't want what little time she has left to be spent feeling betrayed and angry at her kids. I'm thinking about telling her that something extremely expensive is wrong with her car, but it should be fine as long as she only drives it the short distance from home to church, or from home to the local store. Anything more than the 1/2 mile radious around her house will ruin her car. No more interstate driving to the larger town across the river. Anybody here who has had to deal with taking an old person's keys? How did you do it?

What kind of mistakes is making here driving scary?

 

[Dekster]

My mother is 94 yeas old. Still lives alone, teaches a sunday school class, and is almost as active and alert as any 60 year old. The only problem is her driving is getting scary. Taking her keys would break her heart, and I don't want what little time she has left to be spent feeling betrayed and angry at her kids. I'm thinking about telling her that something extremely expensive is wrong with her car, but it should be fine as long as she only drives it the short distance from home to church, or from home to the local store. Anything more than the 1/2 mile radious around her house will ruin her car. No more interstate driving to the larger town across the river. Anybody here who has had to deal with taking an old person's keys? How did you do it?

You really shouldn't do this. She is not a child. She'll stop driving when she is ready. Those keys are her security blanket. Perhaps you should try to take her places regularly so she feels less of a need to drive except when it is necessary.

 

[hjmick]

Your heart will break more if she gets behind the wheel and kills someone and you knew she shouldn't be driving...


It's a conversation that has to happen. Maybe she'll consent to taking a behind the wheel driving test...