Shattered, You Should Have Let Us Know!

[Annie]

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2006/02/seething_midwes.html

Seething Midwest Explodes Over Lombardi Cartoons

Green Bay, WI - Like a pot of bratwurst left unattended at a Lambeau Field pregame party, simmering tensions in the strife-torn Midwest boiled over once again today as rioting mobs of green-and-gold clad youth and plump farm wives rampaged through Wisconsin Denny’s and IHOPs, burning Texas toast and demanding apologies and extra half-and-half.

Cartoon that shocked Midwest

The spark igniting the latest tailgate hibachi of unrest: a Texas newsletter's publication of caricatures of legendary Green Bay Packers coach Vince Lombardi.

Protestors demonstrated against the images throughout the Badger State yesterday, with violent egging and cow-tipping incidents reported in Oconomowac, Pewaukee, Sheboygan, Ozaukee, Antigo, Oshkosh, Waubeno, Wauwautosa, Waunewoc, Wyocena, Waubeka, and Washawonamowackapeepee.

Some of the most dramatic skirmishes were centered around Kenosha, where a mob of masked snowmobilers invaded the Texas Roadhouse on I-94, briefly holding the margarita machine hostage. They were later seen storming the beverage department at Woodman's, where they purchased several cases of Point and a pack of Merit menthols, and later at the Brat Stop classic rock/sausage outlet, where they were reported angrily "boogie-ing out" on air guitar to featured entertainment Molly Hatchett.

But by far the fiercest demonstration took place in Green Bay's Lambeau Shrine parking lot where throngs of Packer faithful burned Texas flags and effigies of Roger Staubach as Lutheran pastors led them in chants of "Those who defame the Vince suck" and "Favre is Great." Many of the frenzied demonstrators were seen ritualistically beating themselves with mozzarella sticks.

The crowd eventually dispersed, lured away by local supper clubs and the nickel slots of nearby Oneida Bingo Casino, but Pastor Doug Schmidtke of Fond Du Lac's Grand Lutheran Temple threatened continued community unrest "until the infidels of Texas deliver an apology. And the head of Tom Landry in a paper bag."

While the curd-strewn streets of Green Bay remain calm for the moment, a startled Texas government official -- speaking on terms of anonymity -- said that they would work with other developed states to find a solution to tensions "before the situation erupts into a full-fledged clash of civilizations."...

...Picking up the Pieces

Fudgienuckles Summit:
new hope for peace,
laser guns, buffalo burgers

As the world awaits the next move in this complicated polka of realpolitik, tensions throught the Midwest remain as high as the cholesterol. However, yesterday saw one hopeful sign of a thaw: a consortium of civic, religious and Packer club leaders announced an emergency summit at the Fudgienuckles bar in Glenbuelah next week to start a dialogue with their non-Midwestern counterparts. At the top of the agenda: working with non-Midwestern leaders to create regional peace and security by passing international anti-Packer blasphemy laws.

Small steps to be sure, but observers say these safety measures will help quell the roiling unrest before it spreads to the dimwitted ultra-militant Yoopers of Michigan's notorious Ishpeming Triangle.

While politicians and community leaders from Austin to Rhinelander work to sort out the issues, Josh Davidson says he will try to get on with his life, "maybe in Brazil or Nepal." Still, he says, he can't help puzzling over how he came to his current circumstances.

"Yeah, I guess maybe I was trying to push a couple of Packer hot buttons," he now admits. "I never though it would mean taping a mirror to a pole to check under my car for bombs every morning."

Does he have any regrets? Davis ponders a moment.

"No, not really," he says. "I'm just glad I didn't hand out those cartoons of Mike Ditka."

 

[Shattered]

There's cows in Wauwatosa???

 

[Annie]

There's cows in Wauwatosa???

Cows?

 

[Shattered]

Cows?

Sure.. Read here: <b>
Protestors demonstrated against the images throughout the Badger State yesterday, with violent egging and cow-tipping incidents reported in Oconomowac, Pewaukee, Sheboygan, Ozaukee, Antigo, Oshkosh, Waubeno, <u>Wauwautosa</u>, Waunewoc, Wyocena, Waubeka, and Washawonamowackapeepee.</b>

How absurd. There are no cows in Wauwatosa. It's a quaint little village.

 

[Annie]

Sure.. Read here: <b>
Protestors demonstrated against the images throughout the Badger State yesterday, with violent egging and cow-tipping incidents reported in Oconomowac, Pewaukee, Sheboygan, Ozaukee, Antigo, Oshkosh, Waubeno, <u>Wauwautosa</u>, Waunewoc, Wyocena, Waubeka, and Washawonamowackapeepee.</b>

How absurd. There are no cows in Wauwatosa. It's a quaint little village.

:shocked:

 

[Shattered]

Tis about as likely as finding a cow in downtown Chicago.

 

[007]

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2006/02/seething_midwes.html

Don't forget, I'm from Wisconsin, and that was good... :rotflmao:

Something meant to be funny, yet so close to the truth.

 

[GotZoom]

Tis about as likely as finding a cow in downtown Chicago.

Cows in Chicago:

http://home.intranet.org/~estin/cow.html

 

[Annie]

Cows in Chicago:

http://home.intranet.org/~estin/cow.html

One of the best art summers in the city!

 

[Shattered]

Cows in Chicago:

http://home.intranet.org/~estin/cow.html

Have I ...scowled... at you yet today?

 

[GotZoom]

Have I ...scowled... at you yet today?

Actually no.

Be my guest.

 

[Shattered]

Actually no.

Be my guest.

<b>...scowl...</b>

(And you cheat)

 

[Annie]

<b>...scowl...</b>

(And you cheat)

Chicago cows summer; you have no idea how relaxing it was to climb one of these for a break. Best yet, they came with ashtrays adjoined, not likely nowadays!