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Post your favorite crazy Old Testament verses here

Dr.Drock

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Deuteronomy 25:11-12
New International Version (NIV)


11 If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, 12 you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.






So if you're losing a fight to the point you need help from your wife, take your anger out on her lol.
 

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Why read the bible looking to insult people?

w/o any historical context, most won't understand the meaning behind much of it anyway.
 

strollingbones

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Why read the bible looking to insult people?

w/o any historical context, most won't understand the meaning behind much of it anyway.



'cause that is what christians do...they read the people to justify their hate and to feel better....after all isnt religion....."we are going to heaven and all them others are going to hell"?
 
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Dr.Drock

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Why read the bible looking to insult people?

w/o any historical context, most won't understand the meaning behind much of it anyway.

Who am I insulting?


Most, I'd say 99%, of christians don't take the crazy parts of the Bible seriously, like the verse I posted.


No christian I can think of would do what their God tells them to do in this instance.
 

Two Thumbs

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Why read the bible looking to insult people?

w/o any historical context, most won't understand the meaning behind much of it anyway.



'cause that is what christians do...they read the people to justify their hate and to feel better....after all isnt religion....."we are going to heaven and all them others are going to hell"?

So you throw the rocks back?

Seems perpetual.


Best to avoid whackos that are that wrapped up in something.
 

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Why read the bible looking to insult people?

w/o any historical context, most won't understand the meaning behind much of it anyway.

Who am I insulting?


Most, I'd say 99%, of christians don't take the crazy parts of the Bible seriously, like the verse I posted.


No christian I can think of would do what their God tells them to do in this instance.

You know as well as I do that thumpers of all kinds get bent outta shape when people bring that wacky stuff out.

my life long example that has yet to make a lick of sense;

no meat on Friday. In Catholic school we got fish on most Fridays. So, me, knowing that fish is meat ask a nun about it. Straight faced, looking me in the eye, no blinking, no hesitation; "Fish isn't meat." I fell into a stunned silence.
Future conversations about it ended in them getting upset and me laughing.

Oh

getting your nuts squeezed causes vomiting. Back then that meant food got wasted and the man was also dehydrated. considering the near desert conditions, she may have nearly killed a man over a fist fight.
 

Avatar4321

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Why read the bible looking to insult people?

w/o any historical context, most won't understand the meaning behind much of it anyway.



'cause that is what christians do...they read the people to justify their hate and to feel better....after all isnt religion....."we are going to heaven and all them others are going to hell"?

No it's not what Christians do. Tell me, how do you justify your hate and feel better?
 
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Dr.Drock

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Why read the bible looking to insult people?

w/o any historical context, most won't understand the meaning behind much of it anyway.

Who am I insulting?


Most, I'd say 99%, of christians don't take the crazy parts of the Bible seriously, like the verse I posted.


No christian I can think of would do what their God tells them to do in this instance.

You know as well as I do that thumpers of all kinds get bent outta shape when people bring that wacky stuff out.

my life long example that has yet to make a lick of sense;

no meat on Friday. In Catholic school we got fish on most Fridays. So, me, knowing that fish is meat ask a nun about it. Straight faced, looking me in the eye, no blinking, no hesitation; "Fish isn't meat." I fell into a stunned silence.
Future conversations about it ended in them getting upset and me laughing.

Oh

getting your nuts squeezed causes vomiting. Back then that meant food got wasted and the man was also dehydrated. considering the near desert conditions, she may have nearly killed a man over a fist fight.

So after the man vomited, her hand needed to be cut off so that he could be fed and dehydration prevented?


Lol funny but that actually makes more sense than the verse does.
 

Avatar4321

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Deuteronomy 25:11-12
New International Version (NIV)


11 If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, 12 you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.






So if you're losing a fight to the point you need help from your wife, take your anger out on her lol.

Talk about taking that verse out of context. I would hope that the law would protect men from having their genitalia attacked. Even if not with that precise punishment. We would live in a very crappy society if women could attack a man's genitalia with no punishment whatsoever being dispersed by justice. I'm sure most men would disagree that they wouldn't want a woman to legally be able to do that. Especially when you just had a disagreement with her husband.
 
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Dr.Drock

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Deuteronomy 25:11-12
New International Version (NIV)


11 If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, 12 you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.






So if you're losing a fight to the point you need help from your wife, take your anger out on her lol.

Talk about taking that verse out of context. I would hope that the law would protect men from having their genitalia attacked. Even if not with that precise punishment. We would live in a very crappy society if women could attack a man's genitalia with no punishment whatsoever being dispersed by justice. I'm sure most men would disagree that they wouldn't want a woman to legally be able to do that. Especially when you just had a disagreement with her husband.

Talk about crazily spinning a verse to justify it.

It's saying if a woman defends her husband while he's already in a fight by grabbing the other dude's junk, her hand should be cut off by her husband.

It's a crazy verse, just have fun with it and laugh about it. We both know you wouldn't take your God's commands seriously in this instance.
 
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Dr.Drock

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catzmeow

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Talk about taking that verse out of context. I would hope that the law would protect men from having their genitalia attacked. Even if not with that precise punishment. We would live in a very crappy society if women could attack a man's genitalia with no punishment whatsoever being dispersed by justice. I'm sure most men would disagree that they wouldn't want a woman to legally be able to do that. Especially when you just had a disagreement with her husband.

Even though the assailant was attacking her husband? Reading fail. :eusa_whistle:
 

catzmeow

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Be careful in your masturbation habits:

Gen. 38:8 Then Judah said to Onan, 'Go in to your brother's wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her; raise up offspring for your brother.' 9 But since Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, he spilled his semen on the ground whenever he went in to see his brother's wife, so that he would not give offspring to his brother. 10 What he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also.
 

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Who am I insulting?


Most, I'd say 99%, of christians don't take the crazy parts of the Bible seriously, like the verse I posted.


No christian I can think of would do what their God tells them to do in this instance.

You know as well as I do that thumpers of all kinds get bent outta shape when people bring that wacky stuff out.

my life long example that has yet to make a lick of sense;

no meat on Friday. In Catholic school we got fish on most Fridays. So, me, knowing that fish is meat ask a nun about it. Straight faced, looking me in the eye, no blinking, no hesitation; "Fish isn't meat." I fell into a stunned silence.
Future conversations about it ended in them getting upset and me laughing.

Oh

getting your nuts squeezed causes vomiting. Back then that meant food got wasted and the man was also dehydrated. considering the near desert conditions, she may have nearly killed a man over a fist fight.

So after the man vomited, her hand needed to be cut off so that he could be fed and dehydration prevented?


Lol funny but that actually makes more sense than the verse does.

It's called "Crime Prevention". Would you grab a mans nuts knowing your hand is gunna get loped off?
 
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Dr.Drock

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You know as well as I do that thumpers of all kinds get bent outta shape when people bring that wacky stuff out.

my life long example that has yet to make a lick of sense;

no meat on Friday. In Catholic school we got fish on most Fridays. So, me, knowing that fish is meat ask a nun about it. Straight faced, looking me in the eye, no blinking, no hesitation; "Fish isn't meat." I fell into a stunned silence.
Future conversations about it ended in them getting upset and me laughing.

Oh

getting your nuts squeezed causes vomiting. Back then that meant food got wasted and the man was also dehydrated. considering the near desert conditions, she may have nearly killed a man over a fist fight.

So after the man vomited, her hand needed to be cut off so that he could be fed and dehydration prevented?


Lol funny but that actually makes more sense than the verse does.

It's called "Crime Prevention". Would you grab a mans nuts knowing your hand is gunna get loped off?

What if that man were attacking her husband by grabbing his nuts? Would that make it a wash?
 

Two Thumbs

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Deuteronomy 25:11-12
New International Version (NIV)


11 If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, 12 you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.






So if you're losing a fight to the point you need help from your wife, take your anger out on her lol.

Talk about taking that verse out of context. I would hope that the law would protect men from having their genitalia attacked. Even if not with that precise punishment. We would live in a very crappy society if women could attack a man's genitalia with no punishment whatsoever being dispersed by justice. I'm sure most men would disagree that they wouldn't want a woman to legally be able to do that. Especially when you just had a disagreement with her husband.

Talk about crazily spinning a verse to justify it.

It's saying if a woman defends her husband while he's already in a fight by grabbing the other dude's junk, her hand should be cut off by her husband.

It's a crazy verse, just have fun with it and laugh about it. We both know you wouldn't take your God's commands seriously in this instance.

Called it.
 
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Dr.Drock

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Be careful in your masturbation habits:

Gen. 38:8 Then Judah said to Onan, 'Go in to your brother's wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her; raise up offspring for your brother.' 9 But since Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, he spilled his semen on the ground whenever he went in to see his brother's wife, so that he would not give offspring to his brother. 10 What he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also.

Maybe he stained the Lord's favorite rug.
 

Two Thumbs

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So after the man vomited, her hand needed to be cut off so that he could be fed and dehydration prevented?


Lol funny but that actually makes more sense than the verse does.

It's called "Crime Prevention". Would you grab a mans nuts knowing your hand is gunna get loped off?

What if that man were attacking her husband by grabbing his nuts? Would that make it a wash?

uhg


Considering the times. I'm gunna say a man isn't going to grab another mans junk in front of another unless he plans on killing them all. I think being gay carried the DP by stoning.

But on a personal level, I would hope my wife would kick anyone crushing my boys, in the junk.
 

Two Thumbs

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Be careful in your masturbation habits:

Gen. 38:8 Then Judah said to Onan, 'Go in to your brother's wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her; raise up offspring for your brother.' 9 But since Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, he spilled his semen on the ground whenever he went in to see his brother's wife, so that he would not give offspring to his brother. 10 What he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also.

Maybe he stained the Lord's favorite rug.
:lol:

not quite

They beleived all life was precious and considered semen to be life.

yeah, I know. Every boy over the age of 13 is a mass murdering serial killer.
 
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Dr.Drock

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It's called "Crime Prevention". Would you grab a mans nuts knowing your hand is gunna get loped off?

What if that man were attacking her husband by grabbing his nuts? Would that make it a wash?

uhg


Considering the times. I'm gunna say a man isn't going to grab another mans junk in front of another unless he plans on killing them all. I think being gay carried the DP by stoning.

But on a personal level, I would hope my wife would kick anyone crushing my boys, in the junk.

Just afterwards do both of you a favor and slice off her off hand, so most likely the left hand.
 

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